A Drunken Fool

“Cher*hic*Cheriff Texas! Ah got-Ah got words fer y*hic*you!” A loud voice shouted into the office.

Both sheriff and deputy jumped and looked at the entrance. Standing in the doorway, arms braced against the frame was a short, disheveled boar. His clothes were a ruffled mess and his eyes bloodshot as he shakily walked into the building.

*BUUURRRPPP!!!* He noisily belched as he thumped his chest. Both women cringed at the act and their noses scrunched up, the smell of booze and other things filled the room. Texas was the first to act.

“Bradley Smith.” She said eyes half-lidded. She glanced at the wall clock. “Sauced to high heaven and it’s barely passed five. Goin’ for a new record, huh?”

“Hah!” Bradley shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the weasel. “Nish-Nish try*hic*! A-Ah’ll have you *hic* know ah’m perfectly sober!” He took a few steps before stumbling and hitting the sheriff’s desk. The items clattered as some papers fell to the floor.

Texas’ left eye twitched as she saw this. “Was there somethin’ you want, or did you come here just to act the fool?”

The boar steadied himself against the desk as he blinked at them. “Somethin’? Some-Yeah *hic*! Ah got words fer y-you!”

“Well, what are they?!” The sheriff equally shouted, growing irritated.

“Annabelle. Ch-Che want’s your we-weasel butt at the *hic* The Crushed Weasel right *hic* now.” He said chuckling, not shouting but he swayed even more.

Texas’ eyes widened at those words. The Crushed Weasel saloon was the last place she wanted to go unless it was extremely necessary. Every no-good varmint she tussled with made that place their watering hole and Annabelle, the cow who owned it, was one of them. If she wanted her to come, couldn’t be good.

“What in tarnation would that cow want with me?” She questioned the drunken boar.

“New…Guy…” He slowly spoke. “Causin’… a…rau-raucus…*hic*.”

*THUD* *CRASH*

Two things happened rapidly: Bradley dropped to the ground like a sack of rocks and the new picture followed him, frame cracking at the impact.

“Awww.” April spoke sadly as she bent down to pick it up.

Texas looked from the sad vixen to the already snoring boar. Sighing harshly, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “April, help me get this drunken fool into a cell. Looks like ah need to pay a certain bovine a visit.”

Gasping, the deputy put the picture carefully down on her desk. “You’re not seriously thinkin’ of goin’! This is obviously a trap!”

“Probably. But ah can’t stand idle while somethin’s goin’ on.” The weasel explained, going to her desk and picking up her revolver. “Besides, if this ‘new guy’ is who ah think it is, then ah need to make sure he doesn’t end up pounded flat.”

April looked at her superior and sighed. Once she was set on something, nothing could sway Texas. It was one of the things she admired about her. Grabbing her hat, she walked over to her.

“O-Okay, but ah’m comin’ with you. You might need the backup.” She said bravely.

Texas gave a small smile. “Thanks, partner.”

After securing the drunken boar, the law women of Gold Springs made their way to the other side of town. After a walk, the two found themselves in front of the infamous saloon. April shook nervously while Texas hardened her gaze.

“April, go ‘round the side to a window and stay hidden. Ah’ll signal if ah need help.” The sheriff instructed her deputy.

“Y-you su-sure?” She jittered in response. Texas placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and a comforting smile. April calmed down and returned the smile.

“Don’t worry, Ah’ll be fine.” ‘Ah hope.’

The deputy nodded and went about her orders. Texas watched the vixen’s tail disappear around the building before she looked straight ahead at the saloon. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her hat and marched towards the double doors. It was largely quiet as she approached with only a little noise being heard.

‘Welp, moment of truth.’ Steeling her resolve, she pushed the doors open.

“Alright Annabelle, what’s…going…on…”