A "cheeky" machine

Shannon heard the machine on the wall working on her clothes.

Handy little thin, she thought. It killed germs. Not unlike her, just on a much smaller scale. She removed "germs" from the galaxy. Nasty pests that infected the Galactic Federation. Criminals. Though she found it silly that she was comparing her job to that of a machine.

"Decontamination complete." the computerized voice announced. "Please remove your items." said the voice next, and the slot on the wall opened.

"Finally." thought Shannon as she was eager to redress. Durant wouldn't be waiting for her. Time was of the essence.

As she reached in to grab her clothes, she noticed some blinking lights on the wall and the slot suddenly closed.

"Fuck!" she exclaimed, as she barely had time to pull her hand out of the way. She even felt one of her nails being clipped by the quickly moving slot.

Her face went white. For a minute, she just stood there trembling with the shock of almost losing a hand, or at least a few fingers. That stupid machine was extremely dangerous. It must have violated about a dozen safety protocols. She was snapped out of it by the voice again.

"Please leave the room, and proceed to the reception. Have a pleasant stay on Urma 7."

Shannon looked at the machine puzzled. Only now did she realize that not only did she almost lose a finger, the slot resealed -- with all her clothes still inside.

"Uhm... yeah. I will leave as soon as you return my items." she said, trying not to sound too annoyed.

"Please leave the room, and proceed to the reception. Have a pleasant stay on Urma 7."

"For the love of..." she thought. "I said my clothes are still in the decontamination slot." she replied, starting to get impatient. She was an important officer on the trail of a criminal, and there she was, arguing with a stupid AI. It felt absurd.

"The slot has been emptied. Have a pleasant stay on Urma 7."

"Nah ah! It hasn't been. Look!" She walked up to the slot to try and pry it open.

Lights started blinking immediately and Shannon felt a jolt of electricity coursing through her hand.

"Ouch!" she yelped and let go of the slot immediately.

"Please stand back." came the mechanical voice again, "Tampering with any Urma 7 property is considered a federal offense."

"You... you shocked me?!" She could hardly believe it.

"**** is a last resort to protect any and all Urma 7 property. Do not attempt to damage and/or tamper with any Urma 7 property again, or the authorities will be alerted."

Shannon looked at the lights she conceived to be the machine's "face", with her jaws agape.

"Have a pleasant stay on Urma 7."

That asshole was toying with her. It must have been.

"Fuck you!" her blood was boiling, she was so mad, "I AM police! You just shocked an officer! I demand the slot to be opened and my items returned immediately!" she yelled at the wall in the empty room. She was even shaking her fist at the blinking lights to emphasize her point.

The lights on the wall went out for a full minute. Shannon was "staring down" the wall, like it was a bad dog. It must have been processing her order. And then,

"Have a pleasant stay on Urma 7."

Shannon's eye twitched. That was it. She went ballistic. She started screaming at the wall, the lights, the bench -- everything. "I - You -" she didn't even know what she wanted to scream, "Argggh!!!"

"Have a pleasant stay on Urma 7."

"Wait..." she stared at the lights, "You can't even hear me..." she said in disbelief. It was not an AI...

The lights on the wall went out again. She fell to her knees in total understanding of the situation. As she was kneeling there staring at the floor, she noticed her clipped nail on her right hand. Courtesy of the machine she had been arguing with for the last 10 minutes. A machine that wasn't even programmed for conversations. At this rate, she could have been arguing with a TV projection. Her colleagues always said she was too feisty. She couldn't let them be right. It would be beneath her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to try and calm herself.

"In case of an emergency, please use the panel on the wall to contact an Urma 7 spaceport attendee."

She raised her head and looked to her left. There it was. A small screen, speaker and a button on the wall. She felt stupid for not noticing it sooner. But she had been concentrating more on the wall with the slot than anything else in the room. After all, it had all her clothes.

"Have a pleasant stay on Urma 7."

The words of the machine still sent shivers down her spine. She walked up to the panel defeated. At least nobody saw the last 10 minutes, she thought. Now she just needed to get her stuff back. She had wasted enough time as it was.