3 sounds like what a bitch-boy needs!

You send a short email to Your ass is mine, and within a few mins you are pleased to get a response. Its very short and with an attachment.

-Good, if you are really interested signed the attached contract, and email it back to me. If I don't receive an email in 3 minutes, I will assume you aren't actually interested.-

Opening the attached documents you quickly realize the legal document is several hundred pages long. "Fuck, this guy has no intention for me to read this before I sign this." Realizing that 2 minutes have passed since getting the message you have to quickly decide whether to sign and email him back or not. You scroll to the bottom of the document and read the final sentence.

-I ____ (insert name) agree to all agreed above terms and to be submitted completely to them or be held criminally responsible for ANY breach of contract?-