“How Many Fights Is This?”

“Thanks again for coming back to pick us up, Barn. I can’t believe Finn let Lana talk him into leaving us behind!” Peyton complained, sitting in the front passenger seat of Barney’s car.

The car’s owner used the rearview window to glance back at the petite redhead and her mischievous smile. Leaving Peyton behind at the hotel had been part of Finn’s plan. Lacey’s job had been to keep an eye on Peyton until Barney’s arrival.

“It’s not a big deal. I, uh, had to drop something off for Mrs. S from my mom.”

Lacey swiftly rolled her eyes as Peyton flashed a suspicious expression. Barney’s inability to lie convincingly was long and well-known throughout town. Thinking quickly, the backseat rider used an earlier message to change the subject.

“Oh, good!” Lacey exclaimed, drawing Peyton’s attention. “Delilah is returning to the hotel with her mom for dinner. At least Rammy will know another person to talk to.”

A guilty expression immediately re-formed on the older blonde’s face.

“I’m sorry again that you had to leave Ramsey behind. You really didn’t need to come with me,” Peyton apologized.

Of course, I had to! It’s all part of Finn’s plan.

“I told you it’s fine, Pey. Rammy wanted to stay back to work on her articles for The Buzzy Bee. She’s already stressed out over finishing the super-sized edition about Whitney’s accident,” Lacey explained.

“I remember Finn getting like that sometimes,” Barney chimed in. “He’d go on and on about Lana and Peyton not giving him enough quiet time to finish his work.”

“That’s all on Lana,” Peyton shot back, folding her arms.

“Not always. You were one of Finn’s Time Culprits,” Barney recalled, meeting Lacey’s grin in the mirror. “Or that’s what he called the two of you when he’d hide out at my house to finish the week’s paper.”

"Wait, he hid from us at your house?" Peyton questioned, unfolding her arms before slapping her forehead. "Why didn't we ever think to look for Finn there?"

A giggle finally escaped Lacey's lips at Peyton unintentionally admitting her guilt. She also noticed how the blonde changed her word choice from "she" in reference to Lana to "we." Reminding the quarreling best friends about their shared past while not making it obvious lay at the center of Finn's plans. Lacey abruptly shifted the topic back to the previous one to keep in line with that.

“Jared and JoJo promised to drag Rammy out of her room for dinner. Having Delilah around should help. But if they fail, Mom will handle it. Ram the Hermit is unacceptable tonight,” Lacey vowed. “I just hope she doesn’t zone out during dinner.”

"I'm sure Ramsey will have plenty of people to talk to," Peyton reassured. "The triplets are still there. Rowan has some similar tastes, doesn't she? And if Shayla is going back for dinner, that means Maura stayed another night. Phoebe and Paxson will be around. Isn't Pax trying out his school newspaper this year?"

“I think so. He’s tried every sport he can think of.” Lacey admitted, trying to remember precisely about the former cheerleader’s son. “Wait, didn’t Pax join the golf team in the fall?”

Peyton shrugged before nodding. Attending Zurbrugg College in Arbor Corners, she often ran into her mom's old friends and their families who lived in the town. With Maura Fawcett, Cookie Flavin, and Naomi Fitch working at the college, they often kept an eye on their friends' kids. Group dinners were arranged at least once a semester.

Yet, the matchmaker knew Delilah would **** the shy Paxson Fawcett into conversations. She wouldn't need to do the same with Phoebe, as her mom's best friend's daughter was more of a social butterfly. Then, Lacey recalled the two cheerleaders older than her mom, who had also stayed behind.

"Shelly and Cookie are staying another night."

“There you go,” Peyton proclaimed. “Dove’s a little bookworm. Auggie sees her at Nine Lives Novels all the time. And Dove has a wild sexpot for a best friend. She and Ramsey should have plenty in common.”

“Doesn’t everyone we know have a wild sexpot for a best friend?” Barney asked. His serious tone caused the two women to look at one another before breaking into a laughing fit.

The laughter lasted until they entered the unofficial boundary of the Oakfield Park neighborhood. Although her family didn’t have the same connection to the old neighborhood as Pey and Barney, Lacey still loved the area. It had been a prime spot for trick-or-treating as a kid, in addition to her own neighborhood. Lana and Peyton always insisted on it.

“Hey, if Penn’s mom is staying, is he too?” Lacey suddenly thought to ask about Shelly Wexler’s son.

“I don’t think so. Jake drove up with him from Blackbridge, and I overheard them talking with AJ and Harper about how the drive back home should be fine. All the wind and ice damage is west and north of Honey Hollow, not south,” Peyton relayed. “Actually, have you heard anything from Auggie? I’d hate if Lana’s meltdown caused Kiki a problem at her job if she’s late.”

“No, Auggie’s almost there already. I heard that from Jamie. She said he’s driving like a speed demon and couldn’t keep up,” Barney passed along while he parked his car on the street in front of Finn’s grandparents’ house.

“I offered Jamie-Lynn a spot in the hotel with us, but she insisted on staying at our place in AC before heading back to her parents in Rattle Ridge,” Peyton revealed.

"Oh, she knows from personal experience to flee the scene of a Pey and Lan fight," Lacey chuckled before opening the door. The redhead exited on the driver's side to whisper a question to Barney. "Is everything set up?"

“It should be. I helped with my stuff a little before coming to get you guys,” Barney replied quietly.

The two co-conspirators jumped slightly when Peyton spoke. Fortunately for them, the leggy blonde’s words weren’t about their whispering. They’d been directed at a person walking between two houses on the opposite side of the street from the Banks.

"I see they told you about the shortcut," Peyton laughed.

"Your grandmother said the neighbors might start complaining about trampled grass again at this rate," Zaylie replied, walking down the old path Bridget, Tinsley, and Cassandra used during their childhood.

“No Nate?” Peyton queried, hoping for a confirmation.

“Sugar doesn’t know I’m staying yet,” Zaylie revealed, flashing her winning smile while crossing the street to join them.

“Uh, Finn thought it might be better if he found out when you arrived,” Barney admitted, causing Lacey to throw up a hand in frustration.

“Why? Oh, you guys better not be planning something. This is between me and Lana,” Peyton grumbled.

"Whatever you say," the beach blonde replied, continuing to walk past the group and up the walkway.

Lacey and Barney followed Zaylie up the walkway, but Peyton hesitated momentarily. Cecelia Bank knew better, but her husband always saw Peyton as a mini-version of Bridget. That meant as a troublemaker. He also viewed Lana as being the same as sweet, responsible Rachel. After twenty years, it was a ridiculous notion. Everything knew the two girls didn't take after their mothers. Even Sean and Lacey didn't take after their mothers very much. Only Tinsley's kids took after her. Still, it sometimes led to Lana being viewed as the favorite girl in the Banks' home.

The doorbell chime brought Peyton out of her thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she braced for the worst in Lana’s home territory. She managed to join the others right as the door opened.

“Aiiiieeeeee!!!”

The door slammed shut.

A lock clicked.

A deadbolt chain rattled.

Without missing a beat, Barney turned to cut across the lightly frosted grass to the driveway. Having spent nearly as much time at the home as Peyton and Lana, Finn’s best male friend walked straight to the side door and entered the kitchen.

“Oh, it’s you,” Tenille Day said, sounding less than thrilled at the sight of the newcomers.

The ten-year-old sat at the kitchen table with a plate of half-finished desserts on it. Several other partially filled plates and pushed-back chairs revealed that she hadn’t been eating alone.

Shutting the oven, Cecelia Bank beamed at the arrivals. Acting as if she hadn't just seen them a few hours earlier, CeCe greeted each person with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Barney experienced the highest level of fussing as Finn's grandmother saw him as the person who needed it the most. Lacey got the firmest hug as she seldom appeared in the home these days.

“I didn’t imagine a ghost! Why would you…I’m not my mom, Grandpa B!” the loud bellow came through the closed door to the living room.

“Now, don’t be like that, Tenny. You know you love it when your cousin is out of sorts,” Zaylie reminded, walking over to side-hug the sitting girl.

“I do not.”

“Yes, you do,” Peyton agreed, kissing the top of the unhappy girl’s head.

Suddenly, the door from the living room swung open, hitting the doorstopper with a loud bang. A little boy halted as his eyes went to check on his plate, only to spot four new people who weren’t in the kitchen when he left.

“Trey!” Tenille scolded her brother for slamming the door open.

“That boy surely takes after your mother,” Finn’s grandfather pointed out from the other room.

Peyton couldn’t stop the grin that formed on her face. She’d heard countless times how the kitchen doorstopper had been placed there precisely because of Tinny.

"And to think he wanted to remove that doorstopper," CeCe chuckled.

“What is she still doing here?!” Nate screeched, spotting his ex-girlfriend through the open door.

His view vanished once his eight-year-old cousin let go of the door before racing to jump into the arms of the buxom blonde.

“Zeelee!” Trey screamed, using his old nickname from when he couldn’t pronounce her name.

“You just saw her,” Tenille pointed out, shaking her head.

The door whipped open again as Nate raced into the kitchen. He immediately shook his head while pointing at the outside door.

"No, no, no! Out! You get out of here! You were supposed to be flying back! AJ and Harper were taking you to the airport. That's what everyone told me!" Nate screamed.

“How I missed this. The house has been too quiet,” CeCe admitted, smiling as she watched the drama unfold.

Lana burst through the door next. Her eyes flashed mischievously as she watched Nate freak out. Without thinking, she slid in next to Peyton.

“Suger, did you honestly think your mother paid for me to fly here for one night?” Zaylie challenged, enjoying the range of emotions that raced across Nate’s face.

“What? How many…How long are you here…No…No!”

“Momma Toone did buy our tickets at the same time.”

Peyton felt pure glee as she watched Nate’s face crumple with realization. She only wished somebody had recorded this moment. It felt like some sliver of **** for that damn dance-off last night.

“Yes, you guessed correctly. I’m staying as long as you, and we have seats next to each other on the flight home,” Zaylie confirmed Nate’s nightmare trip. “But don’t worry, Sugar, I’m staying at Peyton’s grandparents’ house until your relatives leave tomorrow. Then, we’ll have to decide who gets your mom and uncle’s old bedrooms.”

“Fuck my life!” the distraught college student roared, dropping to his knees.

‘Nathan!” Tenille admonished over his language.

“It looks like Jokey Smurf turned into Grouchy Smurf,” Lana laughed, nudging Peyton.

“I was thinking more along the lines of Vanity Smurf becoming Scaredy Smurf,” Peyton countered.

The two best friends shared a brief laugh until they realized they were mad at each other. Lana reacted first by jumping back and away from the leggy blonde.

“What’s she doing here?!”

“Ah, I see all the introductions are over,” Finn remarked, standing in the open doorway.

“Finn, you lied to me!” Lana accused.

“I did not. I just said that Pey wasn’t coming with us. I never said she wasn’t coming at all,” Finn clarified.

Growling, Lana threw her hands in the air before shoving Finn out of the way so that she could storm out of the kitchen. They heard her footsteps stomp up the stairs to Finn’s old bedroom on the second floor.

Peeking around from behind their cousin, Serinda and Sanna watched the scene with awe. Nodding at one another, they fist-bumped with the hands that weren’t holding their recording phones.

“Our last night is going to bring so much bonus coverage!” Sanna squealed.

“And hopefully, a big update on the Finn and Lana reconciliation storyline,” Serinda said, crossing her fingers.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Finn responded, looking annoyed.

“Okay, girls, get in here and finish your pre-dinner treats,” CeCe ordered her granddaughters. “Then, you can help me cook. Finn and Barney have something else planned for their friends.”

“Finn!” Peyton exclaimed. “I knew it! You promised no ulterior motives!”

Finn repeated a similar explanation about semantics to Peyton as he’d done to Lana. In the end, another girl stormed out of the kitchen.

---

“Lana, you wouldn’t want to make my grandma sad, would you?” Finn challenged, happy to have any leverage he could over his ex-girlfriend/co-BFF.

The redhead sucked in a deep breath to block her anger from erupting. It had taken some coaxing and a heavy dose of guilt-tripping to get Lana out of his bedroom and back down into the kitchen. Although the dining room table would’ve been a larger and better location for this part of his plan, Finn had to settle for the kitchen table in preparation for dinner.

Any discussions about their issues and fights from last night remained unspoken for now. Finn preferred to avoid Farah and Teresa’s names until after he fixed the hostility between Peyton and Lana.

With that in mind, Finn sat at the round, four-person table with his co-BFFs on each side and Barney directly across from him. Serinda and Sanna hovered over each of their cousin's shoulders while Lacey stood similarly behind Barney. Besides CeCe hard at work on making dinner, Trey sat on the old kitchen stool, under the phone, while he sucked down a bottle of soda noisily through a straw.

"Wow, look at all these crazy pictures Grammy B found!" Lacey exclaimed in an overly acted high-pitched voice. "I can't believe it."

Peyton and Lana looked up to glare at Lacey for the clear trap they'd been set up into falling for. Even Barney glanced over his shoulder at Lacey’s terrible acting. Across from him, Finn pinched his nose before launching into the first effort of his plan. Only Serinda and Sanna seemed to buy Lacey’s performance as Trey giggled.

“Wow! I guess this morning wasn’t the first time one of you got something sticky on your face!” Lacey continued, pushing several pictures toward Finn. Still, she blushed after realizing how those words might be taken in a different context, especially for her nymphomaniac-like older sister.

“Oh, gawd, no,” Peyton moaned, recognizing the photograph of her thirteen-year-old self.

“Shit,” Lana swore under her breath.

The first picture showed a furious Peyton covered in melting chocolate and strawberry ice cream. Next came an image of a shocked Reece Kittle holding out a pile of napkins. The third photo revealed who Reece attempted to clean up as Jewel Romer cried while a root beer float ran down her face from her hair. The fourth picture showed the source of the ice cream as it depicted Lana and Teresa Zuccaro fighting over a milkshake. Teresa already had butter pecan ice cream splattered over her face and shirt.

“Hey, you can see Sean in the background! There!” Lacey announced, pointing her finger at the younger Tarver sibling. “Is that JoJo next to him?”

“Lace,” Finn hissed, gesturing with his head.

“Oh, right. Sorry,” Lacey apologized sheepishly. She hadn’t meant to draw attention away from the pictures’ purpose.

The final picture caused Peyton's nostrils to flare as she exhaled a furious breath. The struggle over the milkshake resulted in a sideways draw, as it ended up splashing on Peyton rather than the two feuding thirteen-year-olds. To make matters worse, somebody had flung handfuls of sprinkles during the food fight, with a healthy dose ending up on Peyton.

“It wasn’t my fault! I swear Teresa aimed for you!” Lana protested as the blonde stared **** rays at her.

“You started the the whole fucking fight!”

“Whoa, language, Pey. Trey’s sitting over there,” Lana admonished.

“Me?! You’re the one with the potty mouth, bitch!”

"Peyton is correct. You did start the ice cream fight, and with Pey directly in the middle," Finn confirmed. "Barney just didn't get a shot of when you started it."

“By throwing your cone at Teresa from behind me!” Peyton screeched.

“I’m pretty sure you also threw most of the sprinkles on Peyton. By accident, of course,” Barney clarified after getting a stern glare from the ginger.

“Fine. Blame me for The Incident at Scoops. You did back then and didn’t talk to me for almost four days. But ice cream comes out of hair a hell of a lot easier than syrup!” Lana argued before noticing the next group of pictures. “That’s your fault!”

“Cool!” Trey clapped after Lacey showed him the ice cream pictures.

"How was it my fault?" Peyton challenged, glancing over at the pictures from the following year. "The twins were only nine. They were barely older than Trey is now, and nobody expected that skill level from them!"

A fourteen-year-old Lana appeared unsure whether to cry or have a meltdown while buried in snow up to her chest. The snow also clung to her shoulders, hat, and parts of her face. Lacey failed to stifle a laugh as she recalled the prank gone wrong. Early in their prankster days, the visiting Toone Twins had set up a contraption of snow to get **** on Peyton for bossing them around. Unfortunately for Lana, she walked out of the back door first.

“You knew they laid a trap and pushed me to go out the door first!”

“I pushed you out the door because you wouldn’t stop flirting with the guy Brandy brought to dinner!” Peyton shot back.

“Please. Brandy thought it was hilarious. She wasn’t that interested in him,” Lana defended her seductive teasing.

“Ooh, I remember Lanaman!” Nate announced, walking into the room.

“Didn’t we call her Lanzzard for the day?” Lacey asked.

“I tried Glazed Lana, but that didn’t go over all that great with your dad,” Nate recalled. Spotting his partner-in-crime's pissed expression, he added, “Hey, Natalie and Noelle did feel awful.”

“That’s true. There were such sweethearts to me for the rest of your visit,” Lana stated, her expression softening.

“Probably because you three spent the rest of the trip plotting against me,” Peyton pointed out.

“But you were smart enough not to fall for the replacement Christmas gift gag,” Finn added, causing Lana to scowl.

Tenille didn't have the same glee when she entered the kitchen and had Trey shove the picture in her face. Instead, she grumbled a comment about lunatic cousins before taking a plate from Mrs. Bank out into the dining room.

Barney slapped the next picture down in front of Finn. The tale of Lana and Peyton from this fight only needed one photograph, and it spoke volumes. The image showed a fifteen-year-old Peyton decked out in a Fairwater Junior High cheerleader uniform. The young teen’s face exhibited a miserable expression.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don’t lay that blame solely on me. Your mom and Brandy hold a lot of it,” Lana argued.

“Go ahead, Pey. Do it, Pey. It’s going to be super fun, Pey,” Peyton rattled off, mimicking Lana’s voice. “Boys will love it, Pey.”

“Now, she was right about that part. Eoin still raves about how your cheer skirt showed off your legs that year,” Finn relayed, deciding to tease his friend a little.

“Maybe that’s when he fell in love with you,” Lacey added, thinking back to the dance last night.

Eoin’s rival from last night felt a bit threatened and rushed to add his own comment about Petyon’s cheerleader days.

“Damn, check out the legs on that hottie. I would mind them wrapped around me,” Nate bellowed suggestively.

“Eww! That’s fucking creepy, Nate. I’m fifteen there!” Peyton squealed.

“Yeah, Smurfie. That’s very icky,” Lana piled on, forgetting it was Peyton that she was mad at for the moment.

“What? No! I’m not talking about how she looked then for now. I-I’m talking about what fifteen-year-old Nate thought when he saw Peyton in her cheerleader uniform!”

“Did you ever see me in it? You live halfway across the world,” Peyton pointed out, laying her disgusted expression on thick.

“Y-Yeah, I did! I think we visited that winter, or was it spring break? Wait, Aunt Bridget definitely mailed my mom copies of your pictures. I know she did!” Nate floundered in his defense until he saw the phone in Sanna’s hand. “Are you taping this?! Delete it now!”

Grammy B interrupted the commotion as she walked over to study the picture.

"The uniform does look nice on you, dear. But only if you know your mother and aunt's history. People who know the real you understand why you hated it so much," CeCe consoled, patting the blonde's shoulder. "Come on, Trey. You can help your sister bring some food to the dining room.

Lacey grinned knowingly as she realized what picture came next and why Finn’s grandmother wanted to get Trey out of the room. Still, Serinda and Sanna gasped at what they saw.

“This is what happens when Peyton Tarver steals all your underwear!” Lana declared, jabbing her finger at the photograph.

The picture featured sixteen-year-old Lana dumping a pile of brand-new bras and panties onto her family's kitchen table. Lana quickly announced there were a dozen pairs in the pile. She added that she'd upgraded her selection to a sexier variety thanks to Peyton's shenanigans.

“My shenanigans?! Throwing out all your underwear so that your parents wouldn’t let you leave the house for Helen Krogh’s party was payback for what you did to me,” Peyton proclaimed.

“All little ole me tried to do was find you love. I was playing matchmaker like my little sister,” Lana stated, attempting to sound as innocent as possible.

“By setting me up with a teacher!”

“First off, you said he was hot. And second, he was only a long-term substitute. You could’ve had your hot, forbidden fling until he left, and nobody would have known,” Lana argued.

“I only said he was handsome. Nothing more!” Peyton pointed out.

“Well, it’s my job to read between the lines for you. You’re way too repressed sexually.”

“Absolutely right on that, Lanana Banana. I’ve been offering for years to unlock her freaky Fallon sex gene,” Nate reminded.

“I know you have. I know,” Lana agreed, placing her hand over her heart. “You’re such a kind soul.”

“Look on the bright side, Pey. That’s not even close to Lana’s worst matchmaking disaster,” Lacey remarked.

“Not even close,” Finn agreed just as his grandmother returned to announce it was time for dinner.

“Everyone grab one of those dishes and take it out with you. They go on the larger card table set up near the wall. The smaller table is for the younger kids,” CeCe announced, earning groans from the Bank sisters.

Serinda and Sanna stopped grumbling once they realized they could covertly record the happenings at the main table without anyone noticing. Well, as long as Tenille didn’t snitch on them.

“Nice try, Finny. I guess you too, Barn. But showing me some old pictures of past fights with Pey isn’t making up for what she did to me,” Lana declared before leaving the kitchen.

“True. Those pictures don’t make me regret what I did,” Peyton added before leaving as well. “You need more than that.”

“Good thing we do have more, huh?” Finn asked, glancing at Barney and Lacey.