[TAKE 1] Mr. Blank original interaction

I wanted "Mr. Blank" return to be something where Glimmer was able to get the upper hand on the situation and get a moment of superiority over one of her client's after getting the worst done to her (at least from where the story picks up) by Alexander. However, after some consideration and thought, I realized it didn't fit the narrative I wanted to follow with Glimmer's story. Here's how it original went (didn't want to waste the chapter entirely);

[She meets Mr. Blank, but snaps mid-way through.]

Glimmer does a routine clean-up of herself. A few girls saw her pass by, but it wasn’t uncommon to see someone upset with how a client treated them. Even if Glimmer’s dilemma was more complicated than Alexander’s treatment of her, Glimmer was more capable of pushing through the experience. What made it difficult was her personal feelings for another man, David, of course.

When Glimmer is done washing her face off of the makeup, she reapplies a color pallet of lilacs, pinks, greens, and blues to compliment her eyes, color, and hair. She smiled and rubbed her lips together as gloss was applied. Before long, Glimmer looked just as she did when first arriving at her shift.

She wanted to wear white but opted for a black dress. The classic design was without wires or reflective effects—just cotton material that hugged her slim and athletic body. Glimmer checked how she looked in the mirror and felt good and confident again. It was business as usual.

Glimmer took Paul’s advice, where he may be now, and drank a “Woo Hoo.” Unlike the week before, there was **** to down it all in just a few gulps. Suddenly, there was hope again, not just for a mundane repeat of returning to her entire lifestyle at Pink Heat.

No.

Now David could be in the future again. She thought about hearing his voice, feeling his skin, holding hands, and looking into each other's eyes. Glimmer blushed as she considered these possibilities; it gave her strength even if it wasn’t promised. Goosebumps rode up and down Glimmer’s neck and arms as she thought about David, no longer feeling embarrassed by these memories.

The hours ticked by, and the slow trickle of guests started to arrive. The bustle of the week before wasn’t matched, but girls in the “private entertainment” department slowly began to call to have their “services” used. Glimmer knew her call would be coming in shortly, but she wouldn’t meet Mr. Blank early this time. No, she’d come in when she was supposed to. Not before.

At 13:00, Glimmer met Mr. Blank in the same room as before. He was partaking of the drinks inside the room when she saw him. He turned to face her and turned for a smile, but it looked sad. A slight pang of sorrow joined her words as she spoke to him.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Blank.”

Blank stared and shrugged, his self-pity evident as he regarded her. She glanced at the timer in the room and noticed it was for two hours. “Hey, Glimmer,” he said, trying to sound not depressed. The last few sessions had been filled with self-loathing, compliment fishing, and the comfort of a girlfriend. Glimmer had no problems dealing with these requests, but the more she learned about Mr. Blank, the less sorry she became.

Glimmer was happy that he was already seated on the plush couch with his elbows on his knees. He seemed more primed up for a chat than anything intimate. Glimmer put on her best smile and sat beside him. His eyes glazed over her, enjoying how her black dress hugged her frame. A slight hint of doubt struck her senses, however. She wondered if a different choice of attire would have reduced the odds of getting this chat intimate… Not that there were other options in her personal locker anyway.

Despite that notion already in her mind, she decided that the best option was to play nice with him. “Hey, baby,” her manicured hand rolled and rubbed on her knee, massaging it. “Feeling any better?”

Glimmer used the idea that she cared, but she really didn’t. That is what she was paid to do, however. Even most of her income just went into the pockets of management. But… the apartment was nice, so there’s that.

Blank looked at Glimmer and gave her a depressing smile as he nodded. She wasn’t a therapist, but she took a kind of pleasure when listening to other people’s misfortunes; it made her feel less alone in the world somehow, even if she had a low opinion of it. She thought that if bad things happened to people like this, it would prove that the world treated everyone equally.

Blank started to nod and then softly sob. “Serves him right,” she thought internally, watching the tears drip from his eyelids to her hand. “I think she’s really going to divorce me, Glimmer.”

Glimmer nodded with him, robotically smiling at him. She didn’t want to offer this creep any resistance. “Why do you think that?”

“She found out about how much money I spent here… All because of that stupid bank statement that was sent to us. I wish Emmalee would have kept her damn hands off the mail!” Blank shouted as he started to cry more. He looked at her, and his nostrils flared out in anger. “Why do you keep smiling, you whore!?”

Glimmer narrowed her gaze. “Because you deserve it.”

Glimmer was surprised by her own words. For a moment, she even thought her dialog was interior, safely tucked inside her skull, but Blank's look now told her otherwise. Glimmer didn’t retreat or apologize for four words. She repeated them with more venom. “You fucking deserve it.”

Blank pushes back and hands her with so much **** that she sees stars. She stands up shortly after and holds her cheek where she was struck. “I didn’t pay for this to get belittled by a slut,” he removes his belt and snaps it. “Now get back on her knees and do what you’re supposed to do!”

He backhands her again, and time, she stumbles backward, pressing her back against the bar. She’s shaken, but her finger rolls under the counter and presses the panic button. “Fuck you!” She spits. “I’m done acting like I care about you, you asshole!”

Blank charges forward, but the door opens, and the room faster than he can reach her. The interior guards, dressed as Paul when she last spoke to him, burst inside and grabbed Blank mere seconds before he grabbed her. One of the guards delivers a vicious punch to Blank’s temple, forcing him to his knees while yelling. “Hands off!”

While Glimmer watches the guard apprehend Blank, she feels the exhilarating response of her adrenaline coursing through her hands. It was her first time confronting a client and using the panic button, though because it was for reasons she was enticed, she wondered if this would lead to talking to an even further performance hit.

The guard, not hands-on with Blank, goes over to Glimmer. “You good?”

“I’m fine,” she sighs. “Thank you.”

The guard leans in closer. “He hit you. Adam. He hit the girl.”

Adam grabs Blank to his feet and forces him out. “I got this one. Take the girl somewhere else. Out of here at least-- the med room if you can.”

“I’m fine!” Glimmer says. The guard closest to her shakes his head. “You’re gonna have to get at least checked out inside. You got the rest, that guy, Adam?”

“I said I did, didn’t I?” Adam grabs the walkie-talkie on his hip and calls in a report. “Cancel Panic call. Parker and I got it.”

Glimmer exhales, the adrenaline already wavering, “Thanks, guys.”

Blank thrashed and screamed. “I want a fucking refund! That bitch is worthless! Worthless! I’m suing!”

Adam pressed Blank against the wall. Reaching for his walkie-talkie again. “I need a witness report for Blank. VIP Room #7 with call girl Glimmer. Double-check the status of the client and sitrep from outside sources.”

“We putting this guy in the back alley?” Parker has his hand on Glimmer’s shoulder. Adam regards them both, giving Glimmer one look before fixing his gaze on Parker.

“Consider the subject on ice. Get the girl out of here,” Adam’s hand briefly goes over his Viper 9 handgun. There’s a cold calculation in his eyes as he watches Parker pull Glimmer out of the hallway.

Glimmer expected Parker to ask what happened or to comfort her, but he just let go of her once they left the VIP Hall. He turned her around and exclaimed her cheek. “Bastard didn’t break the skin. Get yourself checked out. You might bruise,” he grabbed her wrist and doubled it, revealing the synthetic skin’s holoscreen. Using his pinky, he wrote a signature on her screened wrist.

“Aren’t you taking me there?”

“What? Are you new? You need my help getting to the medical section of this shit box?” Parker looked young, she thought, but mean with his augmented eyes and intense stare. “Shaken up?”

The fatigue of losing her adrenaline drained her slightly. Parker exhales, deflating himself entirely. He waved his hand at the bartender. “Fix a drink! Chill and don’t give it up for anyone unless they’re Glimmer and Parker, got it?!! Let’s go.”

He pushed her, but she was ready. “A drink?”

“I prefer mint drinks,” he huffs, guiding her to the medical office. “I’m not going to hold your hand while the BOT scans you, but grab the Hugo when you’re finished, yeah?”

“Thanks,” she murmurs.

“Be happy we were down in the hall when you pressed that button because there’s no telling how long it would’ve taken someone to get there. It’s fuckin’ skeleton crew in here until the disco starts,” he opens the door, using a keycard. “But yeah. You’re welcome. Pink Heat’s finest right here for you, babydoll.”

[Reason for changes:]

Faults:

1. Emotional Disconnection: After such an intense and emotionally charged encounter with Alexander, the transition to dealing with Mr. Blank seemed a bit abrupt. Glimmer's immediate shift back to her professional demeanor without much internal reflection or visible emotional impact felt disconnected from her previous experience.
2. Lack of Reflection: There isn't a clear depiction of Glimmer processing the impact of Alexander's aggression before her next client. This made her character appear less human or suggest she's not affected by her experiences.
3. Character Consistency: Her confrontational response to Mr. Blank's insult feels like it comes from nowhere without the context of her emotional state following Alexander. It did not align with her previously shown resilience or coping mechanisms- her emotional limits are clearly depicted.
4. Pacing: The transition from one intense situation to another without a narrative bridge disrupted the pacing, making the emotional journey feel rushed/disjointed.
5. Missed Opportunity for Growth: The scene with Mr. Blank could serve as a moment to show how Glimmer has changed or is changing due to her recent experiences, but this isn't fully explored. Her resilience or tactics should reflect

Biggest fault:

HARSH CONTRAST: The contrast was too stark for the emotional continuity from Alexander to Mr. Blank isn't evident. Glimmer's ability to perform her job without visible signs of trauma or introspection might DID NOT match the depth of character established in previous scene.

This also effected EMOTIONAL FLOW as well as a lacking development of character.

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