I'll be honest with you folks. This story grew to wide and overwhelming, I've tried coming back to write it multiple times, but always would get stuck with how complex and convoluted it became.

As such I'll be rewriting large parts of it and streamlining it. I'll be also asking site admins to move the old paths here, for reference and so you can read the original if you wish. This is now done, so this will be considered Outdated/legacy branch.

At the Bar

I was sitting in a bar with Martin. Nursing a glass of a crisp pear cider.

"You know how it is" - I said while taking another sip - "I knew married life would change our relationship, but I had no idea how much, and how miserable I'd become."

We were sitting in a bar after work, me and my favorite frenemy Marty. Sure we had a bitter and vicious rivalry at work, but once that was done, it was not unusual for us to head together for a bar and drown our sorrows together. He was as miserable as I was - although for a different reasons.

"You know - she always talked how she'd want to be stay-at-home wife, even though she finished a prestigious university with a fucking medical degree.
I just always fucking assumed that this would mean she'd take care of said house, y'know, and I'd not have to hire and pay for a damn maid. Sure there's that upside that I can now fuck a maid when she >doesn't feel like it<, but that doesn't change a fact, that I still have to pay her for what my lovely wife should be doing."

"Now kids. Don't let me fucking get started on kids." I rambled on, while drinking a shot of vodka, and chasing it with yet another glass of cider.

"I assumed - again - that since she wanted a kid - she would take care of children when we got one. Right?"

"I'd not have assumed I'd have to pay for a live-in wet nurse, because >she doesn't believe in a formula!< and she won't let little vampire eat her breasts."

"Sure the breast and lactation play with a nurse was amazing, you know I'm into that. But at the same time that was yet another mouth I had to feed."

The though of the milky breasts of Anita gave me an idea to order a White Russian, but luckily I stopped myself in time, and just ordered another cider.

"Then there was baby sitters - well - yes I'm technically still fucking that brunette one. But you get the idea. Not how I imagined my life y'know."

Marty was a good listener, he let me finish my rant, before starting his own about whores, how his ex-mother-in-law was still demanding a booty calls despite old hag being well into her 50s by now.
How on the other hand he almost went home with a 16 years old after last party, and how fucking bouncers should do their job properly wedding out a jail-baits.
Say what you will about Marty, he does not make stupid mistakes like that.

Suddenly his demeanor changed, like he suddenly sobered up a bit. "You know what, I've learned something good recently. You know those company parties I never get invited too, and you keep declining?"

"Yea, what about them? I keep declining because they insist I have to take my wife with me, and that bitch won't go".

"That's the thing, that is a reason I don't get invited. I won't marry again just to get a fucking promotion."

"Promotion?"

"I mean you're to stupid to notice? don't tell me you have not noticed? Every time someone gets married, they get an invitation, what I've learned is that those who do attend, either get fast tracked for a promotion, sometimes several steps in few months, or soon they get fired or quit. If you refuse to long, well let's say you might need to look for other employment soon too."

"Well. Might have to take wifey to the next one then. I'll ask her tonight"