'I don't feel the same.'

"Shana....I..I don't know what to say."

"What about you? Do you love me too?" Her voice and her eyes were pleading, but...

"I'm sorry. I think you're a great person, and I couldn't ask for a better friend than you. But, I don't feel the same way you do. I'm sorry." She hung her head, but quickly lifted itback up with an unconvincing smile.

"Don't worry about it. If you're not in love, you're just not, right? Besides...," she said, looking like she was about to burst into tears, "...if you don't love me too, i'm glad you told me instead of lying and saying you did just to make me feel better. Y'know? Thank you for being honest with me."

I felt terrible. I knew that as soon as I left she was going to start crying. Maybe I should told her I loved her too. I mean, it wasn't THAT far from the truth. But, as she said, at least I was honest. I went home a little while later.

I was happy to see her again the next day. Shana wasn't mentally unstable or anything, but there was a little part of me that worried she might hurt herself. Maybe it was just my ego. She seemed pretty normal, though still a little sad. I caught her looking at me and sighing a few times. I hope she knows I didn't use her for sex.

We're still friends to this day, even though I later got married to someone else and she ended up going to an out-of-state college. E-mail is truly mankind's greatest invention. I love my wife and all, but i'll always remember my first time with my best friend.