"Where is he now?"

"Right now, he's probably overseeing the construction."

"Construction?" I asked. Surely they wouldn't dare tear down Lindisfarne. Even barbarians would know not to incur the wrath of God.

"Yeah, they're tearing down the old houses and making new ones."

"And what about our septs? Our citadels?"

Abo nodded. "Sure, those too. From what I heard they're making one into a feast hall and another a throne room."

"That's sacrilege!" I near shouted, falling from my seat. This incurred the unwanted stares from others but I no longer cared. To think, the holy septs of saints would now be filled with drunkards and reckless revelry.

Still unphased, Abo continued, "For the Northlings, it's just practical. They don't believe in your Gods."

"God. There is only one God."

"Peter. Do you honestly see yourself as still part of the Order?"

It was an honest question however harsh. I could tell by Abo's face that he meant no malice. He was only fishing out questions that I did not want answers to. It was true for the past few days my faith had been tested. And it was during my brief time with Vorro, I nearly threw it away in reckless abandonment. But since then I've repented and for God is good, in his grace he would forgive me. Since God is what brought Sir Merek to me. It was God working through Sir Merek that I was saved from the orphanage and was petitioned for the Order. Sure, the road towards initiate was back breaking and hard. But it was simply for that reason and more that I couldn't let it go. I wouldn't be able to have that on my conscience. To look at Sir Merek again after willingly becoming a barbarian's whore ****... I shuddered at the thought. With a clearer head, it was easier to decide right from wrong but I wondered if my rationalization would still hold up, the next time Vorro and I met.

Quiet yet firm, I managed a steady voice.

"Abo, I won't give up on my faith that easily. I can't."

Abo stared at me, near expressionless as always and simply nodded.

"You believe help will come. That the Crusade will come rescue you."

"My brothers would never abandon me."

Abo then stood up, hands shielding from the ocean sun. He stared far into the coast and for a while stood there silent. He then he pointed somewhere along the harbor but I still couldn't see what he was looking at. But upon further waiting, I finally saw several ships with black and blue banners sailing towards the harbor.

"Those aren't the Crusade colors. Who are they Abo?"

"Those are Yarl Yissmir's flags." Abo sat back down and resumed his dish washing. "It seems help will not come for you after all."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see. For all thirty years since Yarl Yissimir's been captain, he's never lost a battle at sea. If he decides no ships will land on Lindisfarne, no ships will land on Lindisfarne."

The finality of his answer left a deep pit in my stomach. Abo was always straightforward and rarely minced words. And it was because he said it, I felt my faith waver again. In that moment I truly doubted whether the Crusade would ever reach Lindisfarne again.