"Useless" Kryptonite

LexCorp Labs

Metropolis

Scientist Marcus Holmgren scratched the back of his neck once again. He's been looking for anomalies in the minerals he'd been examining... it was clearly Kryptonite, but every test they'd run on it yielded the same results. It may have been Kryptonite, but for all intents and purposes, it was harmless.

"Honestly, Mason, I don't know why we're still looking at this. It would have no effect whatsoever on Superman."

"Lex wants a full report, Mark," Mason responded. "I'm not getting any readings from it, but Kryptonite is Kryptonite, and Lex wants any info he can get on it. Apparently there's a huge deposit of it somewhere in the Rockies, so if it does do anything, it'd give Lex a hell of advantage over Supes. And if we find out what that advantage is, we'll get a hell of a paycheck for it."

"We've tested for days and gotten nothing. The most we've gotten out of it is that it gets even more purple when exposed to sunlight," Marcus snorted. "It won't do Lex any good unless Superman's deathly terrified of purple..."

Mason furrowed his brow. "We still want to be 100% sure. Do you want to risk Mercy's wrath?"

Marcus sighed, resigned to his pointless task. "No, I suppose not... she is one terrifying woman. Well, I suppose it's going to be a long night. Better order some pizza."

The scientists continued to run tests on the mysterious Kryptonite, and as they'd expected, their tests were met with the same results every time. Once finished, they called Luthor and told him that the Kryptonite was no different from an ordinary rock.

"Damn it!" Lex grumbled, his frustration clear. "Fine, move on to your next project. Dispose of that useless Kryptonite any way you see fit."

"Let's just throw it in a disposal unit and get out of here," said Mason. "We've been here long enough. We can get rid of it tomorrow. Besides, it's not like it's dangerous or anything."

As the scientists left the room, a familiar imp uncloaked in front of the Kryptonite. "Eeeeheehee! It might not be dangerous," Mxyzptlk smirked, "But this Kryptonite's far from useless. In fact, I'd say it's gonna be a lot of fun!"