"OK, Blunt. You win. What do I need to do?"

Still seething at Blunt's blatant manipulations, Alex takes a seat and takes a long drink from the soda that was offered him. As mad as he is, he needs to get his head into secret agent mode so he can get on with it and get it over as soon as possible.

Mr. Blunt offers information. "As nearly as we have been able to determine, the Orgasmatron is actually a nanobot -- a micro robot -- that operates off of sexual energy -- some would call it 'lust.' When it begins to feed, it draws more and more of the energy from its target until there is nothing more that can be withdrawn. This almost certainly results in ****, as well as bodily disfiguration, as you saw in the case of 'The Dick.'"

Alex nodded, taking in the information.

"We understand the prototype of the Orgasmatron has been injected into the body of one of the SCORPIA agents working at Spank Me Productions. For now, they are trying to charge the nanobots with enough energy to reach critical mass. At that time, they will become self-replicating and can be released against populated centers like any weapon. Until that time, only the current host of the Orgasmatron possesses the deadly device. We need you to find out who has been injected with the Orgasmatron, and deactivate it."

"How will I do that?" Alex asks.

As if in answer, the door to Blunt's office opens, and Smithers hustles into the room, giving a warm and genuine greeting to Alex. Alex smiles for the first time since returning to MI6; he actually likes Smithers, a technological genius, who always supplies him with new and exciting gadgets to help him in his adventures.

"Ah, Alex," Smithers says, pumping Alex's hand enthusiastically. "It's so good to see you again. I'm sorry I didn't have more time to develop more things for you for this adventure, but I did the best I could in the time available."

Smithers hands Alex a small bottle. The label bears the words "Lube 'Em Up!" Alex looks up quizzically. Smithers explains, "It's lube -- you know, for -- um -- getting in a tight spot, or helping out with the dry seasons? He looks up uncomfortably at Mrs. Jones, but continues. "Use it just the way you would use KY Jelly or anything like that. When it's used for that purpose, that's what it does. But apply it to glass...." With that, Smithers takes the bottle and applies a small amount to the glass coffee table in the corner of the office. In seconds, the glass begins smoking and bubbling before evaporating right away.

"Don't worry about it being dangerous," Smithers says. "You can put it on your body... Heck, you can even put it in your mouth, and no problem. It's just when it comes in contact with glass that it reacts that way."

Alex pockets the bottle and redirects his attention to Smithers. The scientist pulls out a box of condoms and gives them to Alex.

"Don't tell me these are bulletproof," says Alex, examining the box.

"No, but that's something we're working on," said Smithers. "These work just like regular condoms -- and by the way, it looks like you better start using them with your girlfriend, or your next mission is likely to be Operation Maternity Ward." Alex follows Smithers' gaze to the monitors, and is frustrated to see the images of him and Sabina are still prominently on display.

"But I digress! Use these during sex and they'll protect you against all the bad nastiness that unprotected sex can bring. But more than that, each condom emits a transmitter into the person you are bopping. The transmitter will stay in that person for 8 hours, and we will be able to track their movement and hear what they hear. Plus, they come in ribbed, lubricated, and flavored. The strawberry is my favorite."

Alex pocketed the box of condoms as Smithers pulled out a cell phone that looked just like Alex's and traded with him.

"Your new phone will work just like the one you’ve been using, except for one big difference. Use the phone's camera to take a picture of someone, then push the button on the side and immediately take a picture of someone else. Immediately, you will cause the first person to be hyper-sexed and unable to be satisfied unless he or she has an orgasm with the second person. Use it wisely; I can't guarantee you'll get more than 2 or 3 uses out of it before it burns out, so don't go making the cheerleading team get the hots for you or it won't be any use to you when you need it."

Alex is impressed, but he still has one question. "If I find the Orgasmatron, how am I supposed to deactivate it?"

Mr. Blunt spoke up. "Mr. Smithers, please explain to Alex how to use his version of the Orgasmatron."

Smithers looked shaken. "What?! You didn't give that to Alex, did you? I thought we talked about that, and it was too dangerous!"

Alex felt an icy hand on his heart and looked at Mr. Blunt. "What is he talking about?"