"He Sucks"

“He sucks,” you say. “By which I mean, he just seems like a bit of a jerk, you know? He’s the classic douche who shows up to a party dressed in a tuxedo and thinks he’s hot stuff just because a girl or two will give him the time of day. You don’t want anything to do with him.”

“Well, that’s a strong opinion. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I think I might just try to meet him now,” she responds.

You watch somewhat helplessly as she walks towards Jack, brushing off all the other girls surrounding him like they’re nothing to her. Jack loses his cool for a second, his head bobbing in excitement, but he recovers soon after and the two of them get to talking.

“Yeah, Shruti tends to do shit like that,” another girl says, showing up besides you. She’s got a cute little black dress on, and auburn hair to complement it.

“What do you mean?” you ask, turning to face her. She has hardly any make-up to accent her face, which seems to make her cuter somehow.

Nora

“Oh nothing, I really shouldn’t be spilling dirt on a sister,” she says, looking off to the side. “But screw it, you’re not going to tell anyone yeah?”

“Swear on my father’s left toe.”

“Hmm.. would have preferred the right, but this’ll do,” she says. “So here’s the thing about Shruti - she’ll always try to go for the guy that she thinks is the ‘hardest to get’ at any party. And most of the time, she’ll walk away with him in tow. I kinda hate her for it, but also, I could never pull that off, so more power to her.”

“Wow, she sounds like kind of an ass,” you say, taking the opportunity to check out her ass. It does look pretty sweet.

“You’ve got to be more strategic when you check girls out like that, …”

“Alex,” you say. “What’s your name?”

“Nora,” she says. “As I was saying, you’ve got to be subtle. The technique that I’ve seen employed most successfully I like to call ‘Cross the Ocean in Broad Daylight.’ It’s a classic from the 36 Stratagems.”

“It’s been about 19 years since I’ve read that one. Remind me what the hell that even means?”

“It’s something so stupid that it’s brilliant. Here’s how it works: you stare at the girl, but you make it really, really obvious, so that she’s **** to comment on it and tell you to stop. Then you look at her, and say, ‘isn’t that dress a little inappropriate?’ Boom. Easiest excuse of your life.”

“Doesn’t really work if you’re trying to pick her up though, does it?”

“Eh, your mileage may vary. I happen to think that any girl who can’t take a joke like that isn’t worth dealing with.”

The two of you spend the next half an hour chatting companionably, until the doors are unlocked, and people begin pouring into this room to the sound of thumping music in the hallway beyond. It looks like the party’s officially gotten started while the mixer was going on.

Shruti +3
Nora +10