The serum

*Click*

This is the first log entry for the serum XM-32, administered by Johnathan Simons to, well, himself. Current patient stats are as follows:

• Age: 35

• Height: 5’7”

• Weight: 155 lbs

• BMI: Overweight

• Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm

• Penis Size, flaccid/erect: 2/4 in

• General Mood: Anxious, tired, depressed

• General Libedo: Low

These are just simple statistics; more detailed measurements will be conducted as needed. The strange inclusion of penis dimensions should be explained. The effects of this serum are to improve and strengthen the body in all ways, with special care taken to enhance primary and secondary sexual characteristics.

Ugh, I can’t keep this clinical tone up any longer. My name is John. I’m a small, middle aged, out of shape man who has somehow lucked into having an amazing girlfriend who loves me but is insanely out of my league. The perfect girl next door who truly loves hearing about my highly technical work and listens thoughtfully every time I go on tangents about peptides and ribosomes. The problem is, I’m not good enough for her. No matter what she says or how often she says it, she deserves more, and I want to give that to her. She deserves to have someone who makes her safe, who is capable, who can make her life a paradise; not someone who can’t lift more than one medium box at a time when you’re moving in together. This is not all for her. I’ve done my time in my opinion, as the proverbial “90 pound weakling.” I want to be the paragon of masculinity that we have all been sold by media and society, no matter how problematic that may be. I have been working in secret at my university laboratory in conjunction with my specified research to create a serum that I believe will make me the man I want to be. A better man for her. Naturally any experiments on living subjects has been limited, but analysis and what small testing I have done has been positive.

Administering serum now.

*A small wince is heard*

No going back now. If things do take a bad turn, Julia, I love you. I only ever wanted to be more for you.