How I Came to Love Myself

**Note to any who read the old version. I have changed some of the intro over the years as my writing hobby progresses. I'm sorry if that bugs anyone.**

As students trickled into Professor Melissa Rodrick’s senior-level biology class, the lecture hall filled with a subdued hum of conversation. Known for her early-morning lectures, Professor Rodrick often faced a chorus of complaints from her sleep-deprived students. Yet Jeff found her classes inexplicably engaging. It wasn’t that she was a captivating speaker; in fact, her lectures were rather monotonous. But the clarity and structure of her teaching resonated with Jeff’s methodical nature, aligning perfectly with his own approach to learning. He didn’t seek her attention or company; he preferred to remain unnoticed. Jeff quietly slipped into his usual spot in the back row, where he valued the anonymity and the chance to catch a few extra minutes of rest if needed. At the front of the class, Professor Rodrick was setting up the overhead projector with her characteristic precision. Today’s lesson would cover critical topics for the final exam, and the room buzzed with anticipation as students settled in for what promised to be an important lecture.

“Good morning, students. Over the next two weeks, we will delve into special topics in human genetics. Please turn to chapter six, page ninety-one in your textbook.” The words "Reversion Syndrome" appeared in bold letters on the projector screen. “Our first topic is human reversion.” Professor Rodrick’s voice cut through the sleepy murmur of the class, as invigorating as a shot of espresso. Jeff felt his morning grogginess lift as the word "reversion" lingered in his mind, prompting him to sit up straighter.

“You should all have a basic understanding of this phenomenon from your elementary and high school sex education classes. Today, we will explore it in greater depth,” she continued. Jeff vaguely recalled a mention of reversion during his homeschooling, but it wasn’t a topic his family had discussed in detail. His parents had covered the basics with an outdated children’s book, leaving gaps in his knowledge. Hearing the term "reversion" spoken aloud stirred a mix of curiosity and unease within him. It was a topic that had lain dormant in his mind, now brought to the forefront by Professor Rodrick’s compelling introduction.

"The blueprint for constructing a human is encoded in DNA," Professor Rodrick began. "During the early development stages of a human embryo, the genes that instruct cells on how to build the body are read, and their instructions are carried out. However, each cell has a latent ability to 'read the instructions in reverse.' This means that the genes that normally direct the building of legs might, instead, build arms, and vice versa. Essentially, the whole anatomy of a person is constructed in reverse. For example, cells destined to become genitalia might develop into a human head and brain,” Professor Rodrick explained, her tone both informative and engaging.

Laughter erupted from a small group in the middle of the lecture hall.

“This might seem humorous, but it is a fundamental aspect of human biology. In fact, every person possesses this dormant biological mechanism. The most intriguing aspect of reversion,” Professor Rodrick continued, scanning the room with a knowing look, “is that it usually activates in individuals around university age.”

She quickly changed the projector slide to display a complex diagram.

Jeff was captivated. He couldn't take his eyes off the projector, which now showed a human figure in various stages of reversion. He hung on every word Professor Rodrick said, feeling a strange mix of anxiety and excitement. Was it curiosity or something deeper? Jeff couldn't tell.

"It is a popular theory that every living person could be constructed from genes 'read in reverse,' and we simply can't perceive the difference. This challenges older theories that suggest only a small number of people experience reversion. The biological mechanism that can alter the body is actually nature's way of correcting an underlying condition present in everyone. Viewed from this perspective, someone undergoing reversion is being transformed into their original, intended form. In essence, the people around you are all latent versions of a different biological design, waiting to be revealed. This topic is heavily debated within the scientific community and forms the basis of my own research," Professor Rodrick concluded, changing the slide on the projector as she continued her lecture.

"I will keep speculation to a minimum and focus on what is well known," Professor Rodrick began, her tone steady and authoritative. "As I mentioned, this process, once activated, causes the arms to transform into legs, shoulders to become hips, and the brain and head to turn into reproductive organs. The entire anatomy is essentially reversed."

Her words seemed to fade into the background for Jeff, becoming distant and surreal. Something inside him seemed to break free, a floodgate of confusion and curiosity opening wide. Almost instinctively, he raised his hand. "Professor!"

"Yes, Mr. Jeffrey, is it?" Professor Rodrick said, her voice warm and encouraging as she acknowledged him.

"Professor, are you saying that everyone in this room—every one of us—is actually not a person? Are we... what? Genitals that have been mistakenly transformed into people?" Jeff's voice was a mix of incredulity and urgency.

"According to some theories, yes. The idea is that everyone you know is essentially genitalia masquerading as people. The cells that would normally form genitalia are instead forming the face and brain, while those meant for arms function as legs, and so forth. Does that make things clearer?" She spoke slowly, her words deliberate and precise.

"What happens to the person who undergoes this change? Are they just gone forever?" The question seemed to leap out of Jeff’s mouth, driven by a need for understanding.

"I was just about to address that," Professor Rodrick replied, clearly in her element. "Nature has evolved a mechanism to correct these 'mistakes.' The person is not entirely lost in the reversion process. For instance, as the brain transforms into ovaries, the consciousness and memories of the person undergoing the change become intertwined with the new consciousness emerging from the transforming reproductive organs."

Professor Rodrick noticed the class's attention waning and raised her voice slightly to re-engage them. "You may wonder how we know this. There are many well-documented cases of reversions. In interviews, many of these now sentient genitalia have described remembering everything from their previous human life. They often report a sense that the former conscious person is still present, just in a different form. Some reversions result in the former personality thinking solely as genitals, forgetting their past human identity. Others retain full awareness of their former selves, and some even claim that the two personalities can communicate directly with each other."

As she spoke, Jeff felt a strange mix of curiosity and dread. He couldn't take his eyes off the projector screen, which now showed detailed diagrams of the reversion process. The concept was both fascinating and deeply unsettling, stirring something within him that he couldn't quite define.

"What is this feeling? What's happening?" Jeff wondered, his heart racing. He felt a surge of excitement that he could barely control. "Professor?" he called out. "Does reversion work the same way for both men and women? I mean, do men turn into penises and women into vaginas?"

"I'm glad you’re engaging with the material," Professor Rodrick responded, scanning the room with a thoughtful expression. She sighed. "Interestingly, there is no direct correlation between the initial gender and the final state after reversion. Men can indeed transform into vaginas, and women into penises, and vice versa. The scientific community hasn’t fully explained why one sex might be chosen over another."

Jeff sank back into his seat, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He felt a rush of heat and discomfort. His hand shot up again. "Professor Rodrick, is there any way to know if someone will undergo reversion?" he asked, his anxiety mounting with each passing second.

"Reversion is often spontaneous and unexpected," Professor Rodrick began. "While genetic testing might theoretically predict it, the usual approach involves identifying key psychological indicators. For instance, a person nearing reversion doesn’t experience sexual arousal in the typical way. Instead, they may fantasize from the perspective of the genitalia they are likely to become. If their fantasies align with the perspective of a vagina, for example, they may reverse into that form." The class’s interest waned, but Jeff was riveted.

Jeff’s mind raced. He felt a sudden clarity, as if a light switch had been flipped, illuminating long-hidden truths. His entire life, he had felt out of place, like he didn’t belong in his own body. The world had always seemed inverted, and now he understood why. His body was wrong. He was meant to be something else entirely—a fundamental part of a woman. He was meant to be a cunt. A vagina. A hole. A tight, wet, warm little pussy. Snug between a woman's legs. A sense of overwhelming emotion threatened to consume him as the realization settled in.

He squirmed in his seat.

The lecture seemed to pass in mere moments for Jeff, who was deeply engrossed in the startling revelations that had unfolded. As the lecture hall slowly emptied, he remained seated, his mind racing with thoughts.

"Hello! Earth to Jeffrey, are you with us?" Jennifer's voice broke through his reverie, sounding both distant and teasingly familiar.

A gentle yet firm slap on the back jolted him back to reality. "Jennifer? Oh, sorry—I was miles away," Jeff apologized, his tone sheepish.

"You've been on another planet the whole lecture," Jennifer said, her brow furrowed with both concern and a slight irritation. "We really need to rush; our tutorial starts in five minutes, and we can’t afford to be late."

"Right, of course. Sorry, let’s head out," Jeff responded, his words quick as he hurriedly gathered his belongings. As they walked out, he gave a last glance back at the emptying room, still haunted by the lecture’s implications.

The remainder of Jeff's day at school drifted by in a fog of distraction. The weight of the revelation he had received consumed his thoughts, leaving him in a state of constant wonder. Could it truly be? Was the person known as Jeffrey merely an illusion, a facade that hid a deeper truth within?

As he sat through the remainder of the day's classes, Jeff struggled to focus on the lectures. A distracting sense of arousal overwhelmed him, unsettling him with its intensity. The thought of undergoing such a profound transformation—becoming something entirely different—sent shivers down his spine. It was a confusing desire, like a persistent whisper that wouldn’t quiet until he understood more about it.

Walking back to his dorm, Jeff felt disconnected from his surroundings, his mind racing with thoughts until he shut his room door behind him. The stark, dreary atmosphere of his single-occupant dorm room seemed to echo his turmoil. The space was small and depressingly utilitarian, with just a bed, a desk, a tiny bathroom, and his computer. He pondered his existence in this cramped space—was this truly living?

Shedding his backpack and damp clothes, he slipped into his underwear and sat at his computer, a sense of purpose taking over. He began to search relentlessly for information on reversion, determined to understand how to trigger such a change. While detailed information was scarce outside academic and medical circles, he found enough to keep him searching. Hints and leads on various forums and obscure articles suggested that answers existed. Jeff was determined to find them, driven by a need that seemed to grow with every search.

Jeff's search for answers led him down a dark and forbidden path, deep into the hidden corners of the internet. There, he stumbled upon a clandestine archive of videos that showcased the grotesque intricacies of the reversion process. The graphic imagery held a morbid fascination over him, igniting a mix of curiosity and arousal that he had never experienced before.

With bated breath, Jeff watched as limbs contorted and bones morphed beneath shifting skin. The transformation was both mesmerizing and horrifying, a delicate dance of flesh and form. His excitement grew as he witnessed a male head being reconfigured for a more intimate purpose, his own desire mingling with the spectacle before him.

Scene after scene played out, each depicting the metamorphosis of a man into a beautiful woman. Jeff's eyes were glued to the screen as noses flattened and converted into anuses, nostrils becoming sphincters. Mouths and jaws transformed into delicate, vertical slits, while heads sank into shoulders, giving way to wide childbearing hips. Cheeks swelled, evolving from facial proportions into alluring, voluptuous asses. Arms morphed into long, sexy legs, and perky nipples sprouted, signaling the arrival of burgeoning breasts upon the abdomen. But it was the transformation of the cock and balls that held Jeff's unwavering attention.

He watched with rapt fascination as the man's testicles swelled and shifted, forming a brain-shaped mass. The shaft of his cock thickened, transforming into a graceful neck, while the glans molded into a feminine face. Slowly, the man's essence merged with his new form, taking her first gasp of air as a recognizable head emerged.

The sight both thrilled and unnerved Jeff. The intensity of his desires multiplied as he witnessed the culmination of the transformation process. It was a rush, an intoxicating blend of fear and desire that coursed through his veins. He couldn't deny the allure of shedding his current identity, of becoming a vessel, a pleasure organ, completely at the mercy of another's control. The images before him fueled his relentless pursuit for understanding, pushing him further down the rabbit hole of his deepest, most forbidden fantasies.

Although the videos he found were intriguing, they barely touched on the depths of Jeff’s interest. He plunged deeper into the internet, his search intensifying as hours fused into what felt like an endless quest. His steadfast determination eventually led him to a little-known webpage, apparently maintained by a PhD student specializing in reversion studies. Jeff's eyes brightened as they scanned the crucial section titled, "Hypothesized Criteria for Transformation":

1. Complete Acceptance: The subject must fully embrace the metamorphosis, mentally and emotionally.
2. Removal of Psychological Barriers: The transformation cannot begin if there are mental resistances. Once these barriers are dismantled, the change occurs spontaneously. It is noted that individuals who do not fully open themselves to change do not undergo transformation.

Fueled by what he read; Jeff's resolve hardened. This was the explicit direction he needed. There was no time for doubt or hesitation; he needed to know if he could meet these criteria to achieve his own transformation. His fingers flew over the keyboard as he continued to scour the page for more detailed instructions on initiating the process. The answers seemed within reach, and he was relentless in his pursuit to uncover them.

“The Institute of Change: Reversion Syndrome Research Group weekly blog. Maintained by Dr. Priya Deshmukh.”

Suggested methods to overcome mental barriers - Acting out the role you see in your mind's eye.

“…For example, subject 147B: a woman who is adamant that she is destined to become a cock started wearing men's underwear over her head. She wore them like she would if her arms were legs. The subject attempted to sit in the 'correct' orientation whenever possible. That is legs over her 'head' with arms hanging like legs. The subject stopped referring to herself by her given name. She internalized being called dick/cock/penis. Even going so far as to demand everyone in her life talk to her groin and only refer to her as a cock.

Based on my research, the removal of mental barriers is an important hurdle. It must be overcome, or no change will happen. However, I suspect there may be a missing element that I have yet to uncover...”

That was it. Jeff knew what he had to do and tomorrow his attempts would begin.