College Life Reinvention

I look at myself in the cars rear view mirror one last time and take a deep breath before I have to face the world on campus.

I had always been a quiet kid growing up. I had an immense amount of anxiety in any social circumstances. I can’t really point to any reason, I wasn’t bullied or anything of the like. My parents were kind and loving, if a bit flustered by my inability to socialize.

I always knew that this meant I was weird, and basically making my own life more difficult for me. Every year I hid in the bathrooms during student photos because the idea of the camera man looking at me made me panic. The school tried to negotiate with me, told me it was fine and everyone else had gotten their pictures taken without a problem, which didn’t make the anxiety go away but did make me feel worse. Eventually the school gave up. They didn’t try again until senior year, but this time one shake of my head got them to give up. I still hid in the bathroom though, just in case someone asked me about it.

But that was all in the past. No more skipping every field trip, no more doing group assignments by myself so I didn’t have to talk to anyone, no more Silent Sam! … Even if that nickname was the closest thing I have had to peer bonding in all of high school. Could have been worse, I’m surprised Bathroom Sam didn’t stick.

It might be cliche, but a new life needs a new look. My old nondescript look, literally since few could remember me well enough to describe me, was gone and I now saw a new confident me in the mirror.