You Awaken In A Large Room...

Next thing you know you are waking up in a spacious bedroom, decorated in an Arabian/Pueblo style. You wouldn't have thought those two could be blended quite like this, but they were, and it works.

You look around yourself in confusion; where's the blocky low render graphics you remember? But after thinking about it for a second you realize that this must be because you are now 'inside' the game...

You don't have much time to think about that though as with a fanfare of flutes and drums a group of men and women, their faces covered in a white headscarf like an Arabian Jihadist from the early 19th century enter your chambers, and bow low before you.

One among them, a woman, clears up things easily: "Hail great one, just as The True Prophet Oumaji, hallowed-be-his-name, foretold you have appeared here at the Oasis of the Angry Zebra, and the tribe of Oumaji awaits your orders. I am your first wife, Fatima the Golden, Last pure descendent of the True Prophet and his lieutenants, and your closest adviser, these others are your hand-picked advisers: Sheba the Diamond Souled, who advises you on matters of science: Yousephine Al-Waziri, the general of your Cavalry: Aladin Ah-Babwah, your Spymaster: Rebekkah Saladin, The Keeper of the Star Chamber: Alisha Nyarlathotep, your Court Sorcerer: and Mayor Ramona Yeboah, the mayor of our empire's capital, such as it is..." The woman explains, and you realize that all but one of your advisors are females and that one, Aladin Ah-Babwah, is the most effeminate man you've ever seen, with not a trace of facial hair and dark, wanton, eyes hidden behind long lashes which he bats at you coquettishly... You might find this creepy under normal circumstances, but coming from him it is, at worst, sad: like a puppy that you have to say 'NO' to when it's asking to go out and play. (Or maybe you don't even want to say 'NO'? That choice is up to you...)