You're fine

A myriad of horribly awkward situations flash before your eyes as the doctor steps through the door. Will they think you paid her? Will you lose your insurance over this? Are there going to be charges? But as soon as the doctor sees Soraya's hands on your member, he instantly relaxes.

And Soraya, well, she is perfectly calm. "Jennye", she says, "will you help me clean this off, please?"

"Of course, Soraya", Jennye replies, bringing her colleague a towel that is used to clean the both of you off before the nurses go to wash their hands and continue on to other patients.

The doctor is a 50-something male with a balding head and not-balding-enough nose. He tells you his name and says good morning, but you can't quite pay attention at the moment. Your dick, you realise, is still in the open, fully flaccid as if trying to hide from the shame. You quickly cover it with your hospital gown again.

"Mr. Doe", he continues, "the nurses tell me you were a bit confused and erratic after waking up. While I understand that you had just been awoken, I still need to ask you a few routine questions. Since I was going to perform a check-up before releasing you anyway, why don't we just get all of it out of the way straight away?"

You agree, although truth to be told, you're hardly feeling any less confused yet. The check-up takes quite a while, and you learn that - as you suspected - you're fine, and you've not gone mental.

Eventually, you decide to pop the question that's burning on your mind.

"Doc, can I ask something? Why did I get... well... a handjob by the nurses?"

"Mr. Doe", he replies warmly, "the hospital prides itself on giving the best care possible. I do hope miss Rodriguez and miss Lambert provided adequate services?"

Well, you certainly came a lot, that's for sure. And "miss Rodriguez" was clearly an exceptionally talented... service provider.

"Oh yes, sure... they were great. I'm just... does this happen a lot?"

"Heavens no! Of course not - if any of the staff were caught doing this to another patient, they would be fired instantly."

"So why me?"

"As I said, Mr. Doe, the hospital prides itself on giving the best care possible."

"... I see. Thank you, doctor."

You, uhm, don't really see, but you're not getting anything more out of this conversation. Besides, as much as you'd like to see more of Soraya, you really want to get back home as well.

Getting released from the hospital proves easy enough. One million pages to sign later, you're off with the administrator's best wishes and your backpack. You came in through the ambulance entrance, though, and finding your way out is apparently not quite as simple. While you're trying to find a map, a radio in a waiting area starts playing Hotel California. It seems fitting, especially when it goes You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

But it doesn't really take that long. At the end of the next corridor, you finally find a directory of the hospital wing. You're on the fourth floor, and you've apparently walked past the elevators twice in your search for a map. Oops.

You head back and go to ground level. The lift reeks of some strong cleaning agent and contains information on the hospital's policies as well as operating hours for its most frequently visited offices. When the "pling!" marking your destination finally comes - and not a second too soon - you're already starting to feel a bit light-headed. You can't help but wonder what the heck they used to clean that damn thing. And worse yet: what happened in there that necessitated such drastig action?

The smell of ammonia is quickly replaced by the much more delightful aroma of coffee. You pay for a cup in the nearby cafeteria and sit down to answer the large amount of well-meant text messages from friends and family inquiring about your health.

That's when you hear a voice from behind you.

"Excuse me, sir, but, uhm... would you... could I please have sex with you?"