You'll give Broadside your best shot...

A squire faces challenges-- even if the studies told you to leave the dangerous stuff to your saintesses, you couldn't let them expose themselves to something so dangerous. Plus, you were a little pissed at the guy, trying to make you look bad in front of your wives. Begrudgingly, you accepted the terms: ride an incredibly dangerous, angry, massive beast for no prize whatsoever and with no insurance of your own safety.

That seemed to be what the guy was hoping for-- his shit-eating grin widened as he called the bull over to get it ready for riding you. It struck you that his gesture, smacking the side of the fence with one palm, was agitating the bull more than calming it. By the time you mounted the bull, warily throwing your legs over both side of its hunched back and clinging to its mane with your hands for dear life, it was practically howling with madness, slobbering all over the dirt.

The breeder gave you another big, annoying grin, then waved a flag, signaling for the ride to start.

The next moments were a bit of a blur. You saw the stars for a moment, then the dirt, then the lights of the festival... then the dirt, getting close at an alarming speed. Then, you saw stars. Different stars than before. These ones seemed to dance all around you, persistent, but just outside of sight, and they were accompanied by a sound like a gong going off inside of your head.

...

When you woke up later to find yourself resting on a nearby bench, your saintesses broke the bad news to you: your brief, ten second attempt to break the bull hadn't been productive in terms of drawing anyone's eyes. Plus, you'd nearly broken your nose. You were lucky you hadn't gotten a concussion.{if Helmid = True}
"Please, Sir Vin, leave the physically strenuous tasks to me in the future," Helmid sighed, trying her best not to remind you that she had, in fact, tried to save you from this.{endif}{if Amulette = True}

"That pained me purely to perceive it. Truly, a testament to the tenacity of your skull!" Amulette snickered. "I have a healing treatment for headaches, if you have a need."{endif}{if Belit = True}

"Why didn't you let me do it, dumbass? I told you, I could handle it!" Belit grumbled, crossing her arms and pouting. "You gotta get over that chivalrous knight stuff they taught you! Leave it to me sometimes, alright?"{endif}{if Bangaal = True}

"Ha ha ha! You are very foolish, Lavender Vin! Bangaal is pleased that you are always willing to act the fool to entertain us!" Bangaal had very gravely misread the situation.{endif}{if Rosary = True}

"Oh Geod, oh Geod... Is it broken? Please, relax! I'm conducting a healing prayer. D-Don't touch your nose. I think it might be bent... I-I mean, don't worry about it! Geod will fix it!" Sister Rosary's bedside manner needed some work.{endif}{if Liens = True}

Liens sighed deeply, watching out of one eye as you struggled to gather your consciousness. "Idiot. There's other games. Less dangerous ones. Let's just do those," she grumbled, crossing her arms beneath the shimmering silver breast of her costume.{endif}

Dizzily, you stood up to your feet, shaking your head and trying to get the shame of the game's failure to fall out of it. Squires might have missions from Geod, but that doesn't mean they can do everything themselves...