Wish: The Perfect Boyfriend (In Planning)

“You know what I wish,” Cordelia said angrily as she ranted. “I’m perfect. The best. Queen of Sunnydale. I was with a loser like Xander Harris. I wish I had someone to match me. I wish Xander was the Perfect Boyfriend.”

“Granted,” Anya said as her face shifted into a demonic visage.

Cordelia gasped as everything went white for a moment. When it faded Anya was gone and as Cordelia looked around she could tell that something was different. She didn’t have time to place it as people turned and pointed toward the parking lot.

She watched as an expensive sports car whipped into the parking lot. She watched as Xander stepped out of the car. But not Xander as she remembered him. He was clearly buffer than he had been before, his hair perfect, his clothing, well, okay. Perhaps a little darker than she would have liked. It wasn’t just his appearance though. His whole persona emanated with confidence and sexiness.

“I wish Xander was the perfect boyfriend,” Cordelia murmured in delight. “She was like a good fairy. A…scary, veiny good fairy, but a good fairy.”

She quickly adjusted her hair as Xander pulled a bouquet of roses out of the car. She could hear girls around her titter nervously as he began to approach. She smiled brightly, ready to get everything she deserved.

And then he walked right past her.

“Hey, beautiful,” she heard him say to someone else.

“Oh, Xander, they are gorgeous, thank you.”

Cordelia knew the voice immediately and she spun around, “Buf…”

She was cut off mid sentence because Buffy and Xander had their lips locked together.

“Not here,” Buffy said with a nervous giggle as she grabbed Xander’s hand and led him into the school.

There were sighs of disappointment around her. “Well, there goes the perfect man,” someone said next to her.

She looked over to see Harmony staring wistfully after Xander. “Um, Harm, hi, are you not…actually…I mean…I’m not sure what to ask right now.”

“I get it. Xander can do that to a girl,” Harmony said before she leaned forward and gave Cordelia a quick kiss on the lips. “Oh, did you see what Aura was wearing? Ugh, that girl has lost her sense of taste. We need to…”

“Stop, I need…” Cordelia said as she backed away, running a hand over her lips. “Wishes, fairies, girl kiss…I need to talk to Giles! He’ll understand. Well, not the last part, but…bye!”

Harmony looked confused as Cordelia quickly rushed away. “Who is Giles?”

-

“Giles!” Cordelia yelled as she burst into the library. “Giles!”

“Cordelia, why are you yelling?” a woman’s voice replied.

It was an English accent, but Cordelia did not know the woman. “Who the hell are you?”

“Cordelia, I know Americans have bad manners, but you’re taking it a bit too far. If you studied a bit more maybe you’d remember my name. Olivia Williams.”

“I don’t care. I’m looking for Giles!”

The woman paused for a moment, “Rupert Giles?”

“Yes. I think, I mean, I didn’t ever really pay attention to his full name. Where is he?”

“In London, I suspect. How do you know his name?”

“He’s the librarian here. And Buffy’s…oh, what do they call it…”

“Watcher?”

“Yes, right. I’ve got issues with magic and I need to talk to him.”

Oliva let out a long sigh, “I’m Buffy’s Watcher. Rupert left after…well, he left when most of the men did. I didn’t think you ever met him.”

“No, no, that’s not right,” Cordelia said flustered. “He’s the Watcher. Xander is my boyfriend. Well, was, and…”

Cordelia paused as she heard a moan come from the office, “What was that?”

Olivia sighed again, “Willow, I told you…”

“Willow,” Cordelia said excitedly as she rushed back into the office. Minutes ago she would have hated the redhead, now she was looking for anything that had a semblance of normalcy.

Olivia tried to stop her, and Cordelia wished she had. She found Willow sprawled out in the chair, pantsless, four fingers buried inside her pussy while staring at the scream while she screamed out an orgasm.

Cordelia looked away, though she was immediately caught by something else. The image on the screen was Xander and Buffy having sex in Principal Snyder’s office. Though she guessed it probably wasn’t him anymore either.

“Willow,” Olivia said from the door. “We’ve talked about this.”

“Sorry,” Willow apologized as she finally noticed they had a guest. “Cordelia, hi. Um, you’re not going to tell anyone about this, are you?”

“About you fingering yourself in the library?”

“What? Who would care? No, that we have a tape of Buffy and Xander having sex. If word got out it could…”

Willow trailed off as her eyes were already back on the screen.

“It’s addictive, there would be a riot,” Olivia said. Cordelia could see how she was fidgeting and using all of her power to keep herself by the door. “Willow, turn it off, now.”

“Yes, of course,” Willow said as she shut down the computer.

“Now you,” Olivia said as she turned to her. “Tell us what is going on?”

-

“That’s quite a story,” Olivia said as she took a sip of tea. She had a feeling Cordelia was skipping a lot of details. Not necessarily because she was hiding anything, but the girl was so self-absorbed that Olivia could tell she easily lost track of things that did not directly involve her.

“Xander and Buffy, not together,” Willow said with a shake of her head. “That’s hard to imagine. You and him together, impossible.”

“No, like Xander is a loser. Wasn’t he different before Buffy showed up?”

“Yeah, he was awkward, but then he grew and became…perfect,” Willow mused.

“Perfect, that was part of your wish, right?” Olivia asked.

“Yeah, I said I wish he was the perfect boyfriend.”

“Well, there is the problem,” Olivia responded. “You didn’t specify the perfect boyfriend for whom. So he is the perfect boyfriend for every girl in the school. And faculty. Though why he would end up with Buffy…”

“He loves her,” Cordelia said with a sigh. “From the moment he saw her.”

“That answers that question. He went with the woman he loved, even if all women around him saw him as perfect. You seem to be immune to the effect, given you are from a different reality.”

“So can we fix it?” Cordelia asked. “Make things go back to the way they were.”

Olivia put her cup down, “It’s not that simple. Multiple realities exist across a spectrum…”

“Yeah, thanks, Spock. How do we fix it?”

Olivia smirked, “Tell me, what is the world like in your reality?”

“What? It’s a world.”

Olivia pulled out a piece of paper from beneath the desk, “I’d get in a lot of trouble if Xander knew I had this. It is a cable from London; the Watcher’s council. It is letting me know that Paris has fallen, and they are worried that London might be next.”

“What? How?”

“That’s unclear,” Olivia said as she began to think. “You made a wish with a demon, it twisted that wish to its desires. Buffy and Xander getting together must have radically changed the course of history. Willow?”

“Yes?”

“Contact Amy and Ms. Calendar. We’re going to need all the magic help we can get. We’ll have to start tonight.”

“What are we doing?” Willow asked as she got up.

“When a new reality is formed it takes time for the magic to set,” Olivia explained. “Cordelia made Xander the perfect boyfriend. It twisted reality. We can’t untwist it, but maybe we can twist it in a different way.”

*Note: This was not the story I planned to do. I had been debating a few different ideas for stories relayed to The Wish episode, when the idea of 'The Perfect Boyfriend' wish popped into my head. Usually when I have an idea, I get into planning how the story will work out, this time I just jumped into writing the first part.

I did have two other directions I could have taken this idea. One was that Xander would actually be Cordy's Perfect Boyfriend, but that she'd actually hate it. Another is that she would have wished to have been the Perfect Girlfriend, and her being in a reality in which she had been changed into someone who had been perfect for Xander.

So that is to say I'm not actually certain how the story will progress at the moment. I might come back and reevaluate this part, maybe go in a different direction. But being I had already typed out an intro, I thought I'd throw it out for any feedback instead of just sitting on it until/if I had the rest of the story concept figured out.