Weird answers.

"Who's biodad?" I ran my hand across her cheek, brushing a twined strand of hair out of her face.

"Oh... you want to hear long stories... " Eris rolled her eyes. "So... a long time ago on this little island..."

"Wait, there's a story behind this?"

"Yeah, every thing that gods do has a story associated with it," Eris smiled, planting a kiss on my cheek. "And no more interruptions or you don't get any more answers... anyway, there was this nice little cult that acknowledged that luck and discipline together were the only thing keeping them from getting steamrollered like every other cult around them."

Eris' fingers continued to drift across my chest as she spoke, and her eyes took on a soft, far away quality.

"So... they made a deal with a group that some people didn't like. Yo ho, yo ho, to put it in the modern shorthand. They agreed to quietly look the other way while ships sailed in and out, and nobody knew anything. It actually became a little bit of a shorthand around those parts. Any time you were asked to give a name on the island and you were passing stuff that you didn't want known, you just said your name was Outis. Nobody knew nothing. And since nobody had said anything, they weren't lying."

"But... followers of central strong groups did NOT like that. So... they weren't informed. And one thing led to another and so... well, Mom and her new Partner got worshiped together. A lot. Next thing you know, I make my appearance. A lovely little covert cult Goddess, often associated with the sea, bringing vengeance against those who violate women and oaths and favoring those I like with good fortune. Course wouldn't have been possible without a few friends running interference on the other side of the world. Macho King had no idea, and totally bought the devoted followers bit that they pulled whenever he showed up, so he was quite happy to take credit for another proof of his virility."

"Aaaand then Mom got divorced, and just happened to... mention that biodad was better in bed when Randy was being a total asshole on the electricity thing. In front of pretty much everybody, I might add."

"What was your cult like?" I ran my hand over her arm, feeling the soft line of muscle under her skin. Toned, athletic.

"The Erinyes...that under earth take vengeance on men, whosoever hath sworn a false oath..." Eris breathed the words, and I realized that she had been speaking... Greek? How the hell did I understand that? "Some amazing women. Could be anyone, anywhere. Secretive, talented, creative. I whispered to them how not to be predictable. If you had a problem... and nobody could help, and you could find them..."

I snickered at the last.

"Couldn't resist," Eris giggled. "But I might feel the need to talk myself up. You know artists can't resist talking about their own work. They were just a... you know... a group of women who had enough of men's shit. So, they took care of ones on their island who caused problems and demanded deference. And then the cult spread, and next thing you know, there I am being worshiped and being considered for a promotion into the big leagues. Stories start sprouting up about how an Erinys would show up to take vengeance on anybody who cheated somebody using the law."

"They had a lot of tricks, but the thing was NOT to repeat yourself. One of the favorites was the Ithakan Surprise. Standard double bluff. You hide something dangerous within something the enemy wants but doesn't need and is probably a really bad idea to go after. You of course, DON'T need or want it, but pretend you do. They of course bite because it proves they can win, and it hisses, booms, stabs, poisons or whatever, and you feign surprise and amazement at your luck. "

"That sounds familiar..."

"You don't think your ex came up with it on his own, do you?"