Video #?: The sordid conclusion of Feral and Spangle's misadventure and her dark secret...

Although Bones gives a frustrated sigh at your distraction, fortunately she doesn't stop the video. You go on watching. At first it seems that the video is ending but after a long period of black a simple '215 days later' header appears, fading into another scene.

There is the beautiful Maiden America again, going over a corkboard covered in articles, photos and newspaper clippings talking about the scourge of **** on college campuses and how they are related to subversive, anti-American leftist political groups. Spangle is sitting there pretending to pay attention while idly leafing through one of the promotional photoshoot booklets taken of new heroes (and, especially, heroines). In addition to him, Maiden America's other sidekick is also there, a newly-recruited just-turned-18 schoolgirl that has taken on the perennial role of 'Star'. Although she is quite skinny and a lot less well endowed than Maiden America or the majority of other heroines, the new Star's outfit is even skimpier than that of her mentor, consisting of little more than a star-patterned two piece bikini, knee-high boots and a hooded blue mask, so you expect she drew plenty of attention from other heroes and villains.

You recall that neither of these pair of sidekicks are still with Maiden America in the present day... she seems to go through them at quite a fast clip. You recall that back in high school, a couple of loutish jocks had been passing around 'forbidden' bootleg photographs of this particular Star that had been VERY explicit about what happened when she got captured by a gang of villainous henchmen while waiting for Maiden A to come to her rescue. Maybe that had something to do with her decision to quit after only a few years.

In the current film, only a small snatch of Maiden A's bombastic rant about Alexander de Tocqueville can be heard before she's interrupted by the door to her briefing room swinging open. A very embarrassed-looking Influence shuffles in, smiling awkwardly but looking like she's screaming with her eyes. "Heeeey Amy, hey kids! Uh, so, as you know, the rescue mission yesterday for the team that's spent the last few months trapped in the negative-space maze of King Minus was a complete success with all recovered. That's the good news. But I've got some unfortunate news about - oh shit, too late..."

Influence half-turns her head, wincing as someone else comes through the door, roughly shoving her out of the way. High heels click against the floor as a tall, dark figure sweeps into the room. It is the same sexy animal-themed superheroine who has been the main subject of this racy video, of course... though looking a bit different. Though her hairstyle and makeup have stayed the same, Feral has gone with a somewhat different choice of outfit compared to her usual hero-ing garb.... a slit-sided sleeveless red gown with spaghetti strap shoulders. And this time, her impressive cleavage isn't the only thing that the new dress is showing off... it seems that on account of her career as a fashion model, she was "fortunate" enough to have a maternity dress on hand. The generous swell of a round, hemispherical belly is protruding dramatically from the tall, curvaceous African-American superheroine's hips, leaving little doubt as to the nature of her complaint.

Maiden America visibly cringes and grits her teeth, not seeming to know what to say. Star, having been recruited recently, just raises an eyebrow. "Uh, hi Influence. And you are...?" she peers at the incensed-looking Feral curiously.

Spangle, for his part, seems blissfully unaware of the implications. "Oh! Hey again, Feral. I think I speak for the shining beacon of liberty and patriotism who is my magnanimous mentor when I say we were really worried about you when you got sucked into that extradimensional maze thing. I always wished we got a chance to do another 'photo shoot', especially since the powers that be," he glances at Influence, "decided not to publish the first one! I, uh, guess that's not in the cards for right now though. Um, congratulations!" he gestures downwards.

Feral rests one hand on her gravid belly and visibly cringes, whether because the baby happened to choose that particular moment to start kicking or (more likely) because of Tim's breathtaking cluelessness. Tim continues. "So you're, ah, getting married I guess? I should certainly hope." he says with a condescending smirk that makes you half want to reach into the TV and slap him and half want to giggle at the sheer unwitting audacity. "I don't mean to steal the spotlight but as it so happens I'm getting close to tying the knot, myself! Just proposed earlier this week, in fact! I was just going to tell America and Star as soon as this latest case is a wrap. I don't mean to speak for her but I'm sure Maiden America wouldn't mind being your, eheheh," he chuckles at his own bad joke before he even finishes it, "your 'Maid of Honor'. Let me know when the special day is as soon as we-"

"It's yours!" The tall, voluptuous superheroine says, supporting her protruding abdomen with one hand and pointing fiercely with her other.

"My..." It finally starts to dawn on Spangle and he blanches even paler than usual. "My... my what?" he asks hopefully in a small voice.

"Your baby, you stupid, spineless little weasel! The fuck were you thinking, breaking condoms like that!? You never even asked if everything was okay! I might have been able to... to do something..." she says evasively, glancing uncomfortably at Maiden A, who is standing as stock still as the statue of liberty that was commissioned in her honor, "if I hadn't been dreading the thought so much that I put it out of my mind when I started getting sick in the mornings. I just didn't want to believe I'd gotten knocked up by... by the League's least funny joke! I've spent the last five months captive to a supervillain, trying to escape his nonsense dungeon, and every time I looked in a mirror and saw myself getting bigger and bigger, I've had to think back to your goddamn stupid smirking face and what you did to me with your little white pecker!"

Spangle's eyes go wide like a deer in headlights. "No, no, no! This is a disaster! The, the greatest disaster in American history! I finally managed to work up the nerve to propose to the heiress of J.G. ltd, and when I told her I was actually the sidekick of none other than Maiden America, she said yes...! I came from a one-room apartment with 3 kids, you know? And now..."

"WHAT?!" The stunned silence that Maiden America had been standing in was broken by a shout that made everyone in the room wince. "You TOLD her? That you are Spangle? Don't you remember the Official Constitution of Maiden America?"

"Er... it's like 50 pages, with all those amendments... you can't expect me to have all of that memorized..." the short, pale father-to-be muttered.

"I sure-as-Washington-had-tooth-problems can! You know what this means?"

Feral piped up, speaking with an annoyed voice. "That you better forget all about your plans of manipulating some poor girl for her money right this minute and focus on making this right?"

Maiden America cleared her throat, glancing at the very pregnant dark-skinned superheroine. "Well, yes, but more importantly he has just officially and irrevocably forfeited his position as my sidekick! Do you have any idea what could happen if the entire past and family history of someone at the right hand of America's guardian were laid bare to the nation's enemies? Every little mistake, every public utterance gone over with a fine toothed comb... and your family's safety, besides." She takes a deep breath and fans herself with her hand. "I don't mean to make this any crueler than it has to be but you have until tomorrow to prepare a resignation speech... Tim."

The stocky young man sank to his knees. He gulped... then turned to Feral, shuffling towards her in a kneeling position. "Uh... well... at least your modeling career will mean that we'll be well taken care of... right, um, darling? I promise I'll give raising our child the full measure of my devotion... ahh hehehehh... s-say, Star, guess that effort you went to helping me pick a reception venue won't go to waste after all, huh...?" Tim, formerly known as Spangle, looked like he had tears in his eyes but did his best to grin... and when he looked back to see that, pregnant belly or no, Feral still looked absolutely ravishing in her choice of dress softened his expression a little.

"Who said anything about 'we'?" Feral said bluntly, anger still seeping into her voice. "I wasn't sure what I wanted when I came here today but after the last few minutes, there isn't any god damn way I intend to spend the rest of my life with this walking disaster."

"Wow, um," Star has had her hands over her mouth most of this time. "but, Feral.... even if you were willing to quit the League for good and ignore the bylaws, it's obviously way, way too late for you to get an abortion."

"STAR!" Maiden A and Influence both look rather shocked and turn to shout at her, making the teen wince. "What?!" Star holds her hands up defensively. "Don't get on my case, I said she can't! L-like I was saying Feral, nobody knows that you're back from the negative maze or whatever it was called, right? And you came here in your civilian clothes. So as long as anybody didn't recognize you nobody will know that your secret identity or your superhero identity is... was... you know?"

Maiden America grits her teeth and winces. "That's... not exactly true, Star. The press has been using their God-given first amendment rights to constantly hector the League about those missing heroes and how we haven't rescued them yet so we announced the operation yesterday... and knowing them, the other three heroes have already given public appearances to reassure their fanbase that all's well. There is no way that we can hide this for another, what... a month? Two?"

Spangle (soon to be ex-) stands and tugs on his suspenders awkwardly. "Well, I uh, better get started on that resignation speech. You know where to find me if you change your mind about giving me a chance to do the honorable thing! I think you'll come around to seeing that it's the only reasonahhhHHHHHHHHH!" while he's speaking Feral has shown that she's still in full posession of her powers as a glowing yellow aura surrounds her hand and she swipes his face. She clearly isn't holding back; deep, bloody slashes like those from a grizzly bear cover Spangle's face and neck. "OH GOD! I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding! You god damn slut!" Wary of drawing further retaliation he scrambles to his feet and runs for the door, while Feral gives a deep, guttural lion-like roar, brandishing her glowing hand after him.

"Get a hold of yourself Mari! That isn't going to help anything!" Maiden A grabs the pregnant heroine by the shoulders and shakes her. "No one is more at fault for this than me, except maybe Influence. Definitely Influence, actually. But the point is that you're just going to have to come clean about it. We can't just outright lie to the press."

Influence clasps her hands. "...Amy, I think I know a way that we can... well, maybe not fix this, but at least to avoid it going public without having to lie about it. Mari, come with me. If I'm correct, we don't have long. I think Chronosphere can help."

Bones has been mostly averting her eyes from the video but suddenly perks up. "Wait a second... there's that name again. I think Excellence Girl mentioned a 'Chronosphere' too. I was undercover at the League for over 2 months, met all the top heroes and heroines and had to sit through hundreds of boring, braggadocio-filled stories, and memorized most of their current and recent lineup. But I never heard about anyone called Chronosphere. Considering a couple of the operations Alan and I went on, I'm starting to connect some dots. Bunny... I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad you decided to keep rolling this tape."

"Yeah I'm going to be honest with you Bones," you say offhandedly. "I just wanted to keep watching because the voyeurism angle of this whole thing is getting me kind of hot."

"Wow. Uh, ew." Bones says with a smirk and a chuckle.

"I knowwww, right?" you say, rolling onto your side on the bed. "Ew, but also, 'oooooh'. Just had to get that off my chest. You are probably right that we need to get moving after this one though. Maiden A might be flying around looking for us, doesn't she have x-ray vision?"

"Don't worry about that," Bones replies. "She can't look into citizens' private rooms, that would be against the Bill of Rights. Like, she literally can't. There's this one video out there of her trying to arrest a fugitive bank robber and her hand just stops in mid air before she can touch the guy. He just walked off while she kept trying to fly towards him and bouncing off, thinking he had a **** field or something. Turned out the perp had already been tried for the crime and acquitted."

"Shhh shh, cmon, stop talking so I can unpause," you say impatiently.