Video #?: Feral is helped out of her problem by Influence in a convoluted plan that reveals one of the targets you were looking for...

The next scene in the video is a clean, sparse, white-tiled science lab with some kind of enormous device covered in sparking tesla coils and power conduits dominating the center of the room. Only one person is visible: a short, narrow-shouldered guy wearing an outfit similar to an astronaut's space suit, with the headpiece being a perfect mirrored sphere with no way to see his face. He is tapping away at a computer terminal, but then stops what he's doing and turns towards the door, folding his hands behind his back.

No sooner has he done so than Influence and Maiden America walk in. And, after them, eyes glued to the floor, the superheroine known as Feral walks in awkwardly in a wide stance, supporting her protruding spherical stomach where the half-white child whose arrival stands to cause her (and the other heroines) so much grief sleeps, blissfully unaware of the trouble they're causing his or her mother.

"Hello there, my illustrious leader." the scientist says. "And a greeting to Influence as well, and our great exemplar of the animal kingdom. Feral... I would say congratulations, but considering the look on your face, I take it that you are experiencing a significant shortfall of joy relating to your soon-to-arrive bundle?" His voice is a highly distorted electronic sound with a reverb effect, like a recording of a recording of a recording.

"Oh, shelve the smartass routine, Chronosphere." Feral says, narrowing her eyes. "We all know that you can see the future. I never understood why we even need to explain things to you, instead of you just doing what's needed."

"Setting aside the fact that seeing possible near future events is not the same thing as seeing 'the future', because there is in fact no such thing as 'THE' future," the scientist says, "or the fact that that could lead to some dangerous misunderstandings, there is also the matter of politeness. But-"

Influence steps in, taking a couple of steps forward. "Oh, so, sorry to cut short your favorite game Chronosphere, but Maiden America has some serious business to take care of today, what with needing to find a new Spangle and all, so let's just say that I'm calling in that favor you owe me. I have a... um, slight responsibility for our colleague Mari's unplanned pregnancy..."

"With entirely good intentions, however!" Maiden America raises a fist as she makes a point. "But the thing is, this isn't just about personal feelings or doing the best we can for a friend like any good American should. It's very important to both Mari's career -"

"BOTH of my careers!" the gravid african-american heroine says forcefully.

"-and to the reputation and well-being of the League of Propriety as a whole, going forward."

Chronosphere nods, then turns around and starts tapping on the computer again, forcing the 3 heroines to wait in awkward silence for about a minute. Just as Maiden A and Feral/Mari are getting visibly annoyed, the scientist turns back around. "I see. Well, if I take your meaning to be using my equipment to make a localized time distortion and speed things along, I have several quibbles. If you're thinking of the experiments I've run where I make a flower grow from a seed into full bloom in front of everyone's eyes, I have never tested that on animals, and I certainly cannot, in good conscience, test it on a pregnant woman. I would question the worth of that in any case, since it will only be 37 days, 11 hours, 43 minutes and 10 seconds before Feral goes into labor."

Hearing it described so bloodlessly and mathematically makes Feral visibly cringe, and rock a little unsteadily on her feet. Right behind her, a small wheeled chair rolls up on its own, powered by tiny motors. She looks over at Chronosphere angrily as if being condescended to, but then sighs and slumps down in the seat, resting her bulging abdomen on her thighs. It seems being 7 months pregnant has done a number on her world-renowned grace and poise.

"In any case," Chronosphere continues, talking even as he enters more data into the computer console, "I really don't see why this is such a problem that you would consider resorting to such drastic measures. I detest spreading gossip, but I have to point out the obvious facts: unplanned pregnancies are not a terribly rare occurrence for superheroines, particularly those in the League of Propriety, on account of certain regulations, bylaws, and decisions by the American legal system. If I'm not mistaken, this will be the second heroine to go on maternity leave this year alone. Last year there were four. And, with each passing year, the stigma erodes and the rates go up. Mari's situation is already the 3rd leading cause of retirement and extended leaves of absence. Let the League membership and the press gossip about it for two weeks and 3 days. Deal with the 15 minutes of shame. Another embarrassment will come along and people will forget about this. Can I get back to work now? What I'm doing here is very - and this is not a pun - time sensitive."

Mari raises her fist angrily. "This isn't the usual situation, bubblehead! I wouldn't be coming here if it was my boyfriend or a fling from a mission to some exotic country, or even if I'd gotten myself knocked up by a no-name common criminal like Influence did." she shoots a glare at the older superheroine. "But it was fucking Spangle of all people, because America pressured me and Influence probably brainwashed me. I would never live that down. Besides, there's already been press releases, and I've just barely managed to keep it from being too obvious who my civilian identity was. If I show up in front of the cameras as big as a house, I'll never be able to deny it. And if I'm going to be humiliated on a national stage, Maiden A and her mind-warping fangirl are gonna own up to their part in it!"

"Yes, well," Maiden America says, putting her hands on her hips, "THAT is a League-wide, and indeed, America-wide problem, which is why I was starting some informational and public service campaigns both inside and outside the League to encourage our great American heroes, both in and out of costume, to adopt safer habits. I'm laboring mightily to cut down on this scourge, and when word gets out that I, I mean, that Spangle was involved, it'll make a mockery out of us. I just appeared in a publicly funded commercial on national television about safe sex a few months ago."

Influence sighs and smiles warmly, slowly shaking her head. "You know, Amy, I think for Mari's sake you should avoid using terms like 'laboring'..." Both Maiden America and Feral, who are taking this much harder, shoot her a dirty look.

"I still don't see the problem." Chronosphere continues. "Again, not to trivialize you Feral, but dozens of superheroines have become unwed mothers in all kinds of unseemly circumstances since I joined this League. She was captive to that ridiculous space-manipulating supervillain for a period of months, was she not? He was white, and has about the same build as Spangle did. Or, if you balk at fabricating a crime for King Minus, put it on one of the supervillains or henchmen that have already confessed to **** heroines before."

"No!" Maiden America stomps her foot, making the others visible stumble a little bit as the floor shakes. "I cannot tell a lie! Not to the free American press, like some kind of communist! I'll not allow our beloved Acropolis Bugle to be reduced to the status of Pravda!" she spits the word out venomously. "And as popular as Feral is, considering her importance to the League's appearance of diversity, there is no way she and I won't get questions about this."

Influence coughs awkwardly. "L-listen, I'm as much at fault for this as anyone. And I've learned my lesson about using my power for such frivolous things, really! But please, stop playing ignorant with us, Chronosphere, I already know about your secret."

Chronosphere folds his arms, and though still distorted, the next time he speaks sounds darker. "If you are referring to my civilian identity as Dr. Redwood, it matters little to me if you leak it to the press or anyone else. And though I do appreciate the League membership assuming that I'm a male simply because I don't dress provocatively or have the characteristic hypertrophy of the mammary glands that usually goes along with the superhuman phenomenon," Chronosphere pokes Maiden America in her left tit, his (er, her) finger sinking deeply into the pliant flesh before Maiden A slaps it away.

Well. Looks like "he" is actually a "she". That's not terribly shocking considering that superheroines are about 75% female and supervillians almost as lopsided. What is shocking to you and Bones as you sit there watching is that name coming out. If the two of you weren't watching raptly before, you are now.

"Uh, no, Chronie. I can call you that, right?" Influence beams. "First of all I do think you ought to give dressing sexily a try, and don't assume that nobody will want to see it just because you're a little smaller up here," she cups the generous cleavage straining against her tacky tie-dye leotard, "than average. I'd love to help you pick out some 'show clothes'. Ah, um," she notices Maiden A and Feral glaring angrily at her again. "...but that's neither here nor there. I'm not talking about your secret identity, I'm talking about your secret PROGRAM. Maiden America and I both figured it out independently of each other. Really, you should have expected Maiden A to know, but I guess you didn't recognize her in the conservative outfit she wore back in the late 1790s when she was just getting her start. She saw you taking that girl from the carriage crash and disappear just when she was running up to try and help."

There is an awkward silence. Feral's expression shifts from simmering anger to confusion, and she cocks her head.

Chronosphere's shoulders slump. "I... I would have told others if I didn't think it was too hazardous. I thought that I would be vindicated by history after I retire and I released a tell-all statement... Please, I know I've endangered the time stream, Maiden America, but I have been taking every possible precaution. I had good reasons for doing something so risky. I can explain, but you must at least let me accomplish this next mission before we discuss this further, there is an ancient long-sealed evil that I must find inform-"

Influence giggles, shaking her head and grabbing the still-stone-faced Maiden America by her shoulder. "Chronie, let me stop you right there! You have nothing to worry about, and we're NOT trying to **** you about anything. Do you think Maiden America would stoop so low? And speaking of you apparently not knowing Maiden America very well... Did you really think that your 'secret project' of rescuing young children who would have otherwise died, treating their illnesses or injuries with your medical technology, and bringing them back to the present with you to place them in an orphanage that you've been secretly appropriating League money to fund is something she would be angry at you for? For goodness sake, Chronie, that isn't something you have to apologize for! The only reason we never told you that you could've told the League what you were doing at any time and gotten full support for it is because we didn't want you to think we were spying on us."

"...and how did you figure out?" Chronosphere asks icily.

Influence twirls her hair around a finger and twists one of her go-go boots against the floor. "Ah... well... Things haven't always been perfect in my marriage and let's just say that one of the kids you saved grew up really handsome, and a sexy 18 year old's interest isn't always easy to brush off even when you know you shouldn't..."

There's a pause. "Influence," Chronosphere says in a neutral tone, "I think I'm going to have to ask you to discontinue your services as a mentor at the Vonnegut House for Children..."

"Okay yeah that's fair." Influence nods, blushing. "Anyway, we need to focus on Mari's problem. As you can see, she's way too pregnant to hide it even if she had a costume as bulky and shapeless as yours, and she needs time to decide what is going to be best for her. Nobody can tell her that, it's something she has to choose for herself... far away from a tabloid circus."

With a brief struggle, the voluptuous (even moreso now than she was before, which might've seemed impossible) vixen, Feral, climbs to her feet. "Alright, I can see where this is going. These time-travel jaunts last as long as you need them to, right Chronosphere? And since you're already going on a mission, there isn't any reason for anyone to ask questions. I'll go back with you to wherever -"

"Whenever." Chronosphere corrects. Feral frowns, and continues. "- you're going, and stay there until I can push out the brat that stupid runt of a sidekick saddled me with. Stay there a few more weeks if it's possible so that I can exercise and shed the baby weight. Then I can get back to my life and forget this catastrophe ever happened. I just hope I'll be able to only model outfits that do a good job of hiding stretch marks..."

"Well, yeah, essentially, that's what I was thinking." Influence says. "You'll have plenty of time to make up your mind how you want to go forward. You shouldn't knock motherhood, you know, it's one of the most rewarding-"

"I don't NEED any time. My mind's made up." Feral says firmly, cupping her hands under her stomach again. "It's easier for YOU, Influence. You white girls can go around jumping into bed with villains and fanboys and rich playboys and... firefighters and... sidekicks, and society doesn't turn you into some kind of a stereotype for it, just pats you on your back and asks how they can help. Cheers you on as a proud, confident single mom. I don't have that luxury."

"Well then." Chronosphere says, entering more data into the computer console. "I suppose that it's settled then. But, if I am going to go along with this, I am going to need you all to sign some confidentiality agreements. What I'm doing has the potential for consequences going far beyond the League or this city, and I'm under direct oversight by certain... government agencies. I'll need you to accept and sign off of some things that I have, will have, already will have, or am doing on their behalf. In fact, they have already been pushing for more oversight related to exactly the 'problem' that Feral is currently facing. They don't like having so many rogue elements in the system ready to pop up unexpectedly."

"Wow, that's... a lot of conditions." Influence says. "I'm not so sure about that, at least until you can give us some more details..."

"Don't get cold feet now, Influence!" Maiden America shouts loudly. "We've come this far, and you heard Chronosphere, this mission is time-sensitive! Besides..." she puts a hand over her heart. "...this is an American governmental agency we're talking about! Not some kind of secretive, ****-planning, dissident-executing, dictator-supporting commie outfit like the Soviet KGB! Influence, I think we need to have a long talk about your patriotism when you get back. I've made my peace with the whole hippie phenomenon, but-"

"Okay, okay, I don't need a lecture, Amy! Sheesh. But still..." Influence looks at Feral, taking a step closer to her. She reaches forward as if to take the taller woman's hands, but Feral jerks her hands away as if Influence's hands were snakes, and gives the emotion-bending heroine a wolf-like growl. Influence pulls her hands back behind her sheepishly.

"L-listen... you have to think about the well-being of the child too, whatever the shortcomings of his or her father, or... anyone else indirectly responsible for their conception. Think about how many bad guys we've busted didn't know their parents or came from broken homes. And if it turns out to be a girl, that could be even worse. She might, I don't know... develop some kind of Freudian complex and internalize hatred for her own sex. I know Spangle is kind of an ass, but I can help you work on him."

"Influence...!" Feral's eyes flash yellow and she makes a fist. "I don't want to hear your opinions about anyone's fucking psychological needs EVER AGAIN. In fact, I think I'd like you to just never speak to me again once this mess is behind me. I got no interest in spending my evenings changing diapers for one baby with one hand and trying to support a 22-year-old man baby with the other! Chronosphere! Turn your science bullshit to the maximum. Let's do this time travel shit." Calling on her powers, she bounds forward on all fours like an animal with great speed, clearing the distance and leaping into the open time-capsule chamber. Chronosphere shrugs and shuffles over to the machine, climbing in after her.

There's a huge burst of coruscating blue energy... and the hatch on the capsule opens immediately. When she climbs back out, Feral is wearing a very different, archaic-looking toga. The garment still fits snugly around her impressive curves, and sure enough, there is no visible sign that she was 7 months pregnant less than a minute ago, from the perspective of Maiden A and Influence. She glares at them and frowns, then turns and walks right out the door without another word. Chronosphere emerges from the capsule too a moment later, carrying a bundle of cloth, with a soft, high-pitched giggling sound coming from it...

You and Bones sit speechless as the video comes to an end and a black ending scroll concludes the video:

'Just as she said, Feral (real name Mari [REDACTED]) returned to her career as both a superheroine and a model, and thanks to her careful entry to the League HQ, it seems no one suspected she was ever pregnant, obviating the need for her to lie to the press and keeping her identity more-or-less intact. Her daughter, [REDACTED] was born with conspicuously abnormal features including pointed ears and sharpened canine teeth, complicating the process of placing her with an adoptive family. She remained at the Vonnegut House for Children until six months prior to the creation of this video, when she was finally placed with a couple of circus performers, who are NCPs and already have a child with unusual features. Although still very young, Feral and Spangle's daughter [REDACTED] has already developed signs of superhuman abilities similar to her mothers, but greatly intensified. This suggests that Maiden America's influence has epigenetic effects on super-abilities even if the recipients of powers gained by spending time near her (e.g. Spangle) have never engaged in sexual intercourse with her. Influence has been pushing hard to bend the usual rules and allow their daughter [REDACTED] to join the League of Propriety in a limited capacity in five or six years, before the usual minimum age of 18, just as Spangle was allowed to. Influence justifies this since the child is, by all accounts, naturally photogenic and thrives as the center of attention.

As of the creation of this video, Feral has recently returned from her honeymoon after marrying fellow superhero Dark Energy Man after a long, sometimes rocky relationship, and announced that they are expectant parents. This video will be updated with information comparing the heroine's second child with the one with the x-factor of Maiden America's aura as soon as it becomes available. Scientists with the [REDACTED] have expressed hope that they will have a sample size of more than two for comparisons, though since Feral is already well into her thirties and has expressed interest in maintaining her superhero identity, this seems unlikely. Still, considering that she is a superhuman and therefore ages somewhat more slowly than a baseline human, I informed the interested parties that such an eventuality is not outside the realm of possibility.

Note that this video is particularly sensitive due to the information revealed within, regarding such issues as Chronosphere's experiments, Influence's husband's criminal record and grievous misuse/**** of her powers, Maiden America's illegitimate son with a sitting president (both father and son having long since passed away notwithstanding), and most importantly, the circumstances under which I, Celluloid Crusader, was given authorization to create these interesting videos, and at whose behest. To avoid calling attention to it, this video tape should be kept as part of the first subsection of volume 2 of the 'M Files'. However, this particular subsection should NEVER be released from the storage vault at League HQ and must never leave the premises under any circumstances. Please ensure that this video has additional, hidden security measures built into it. Suggested measures include an alarm not connected to the main circuit and/or a tracking device.'

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