Unpacking

I woke up in a bath. It was like zero gravity the soothing feelings I felt. I was cool, but just the right amount to keep me comfortable. I smelled food, a burger. Lily was next to me, smiling. “Hello there, are you okay?”

“Ya, I, think.”

“You dropped off there, I knew you were okay. But there was a lot.” I just nodded to respond. Trying to pull myself up. “I believe they call that sub drop, I’m glad you got to experience it.”

“Thanks, it was, special. All of it. I don’t really…” I just kinda sputtered out of words.

“You, don’t have to say anything.” She said that, with a intent of reassurance, if she could have placed a hand on mine she would have.

I smiled, and didn’t say a word. We, just sat there. I had pulled myself up and dried off a bit. A wood board slid over the surface of the water and I was able to put the food on it. It was delicious. Savory and fulfilling. I devoured my way through it. There was an ice cold glass of water with it that rejuvenated my nerves. She chuckled occasionally at how quickly I worked through my food. Pulling some food out for herself. In turn I chuckled as well. After we finished we got up and went over to a big fluffy bed. Crawling in I felt like I was descending onto a cloud. She wrapped around me and kept me warm. We laid there for a while wordless just sharing the moment.

“So this was a bit of a fantasy of mine, obviously. But the emotional part of it. The energy we shared, that was never part of it. I had just fetishized that I wanted to be in a cube and used. But the reflection on myself. That was, never part of it. Was that your doing?”

Lily sat up at that one, I had begun doing the same when she spoke. “Well, the room gives you the fantasy you want most. That said I’m not really surprised this came up. You’re in a formative part of your life. And part of that is figuring out what “human” means. So for someone with an objectification fetish. That becomes a part of it. Maybe it means this is another part of the fetish you hadn’t considered. Or, that you needed to learn this lesson for yourself. From what I can read, looking into you. You’re someone who’s bandaged up quite a few wounds. But you never disinfected. They might be fine on the skin, and the bleeding may have stopped. Underneath however, there is still a spike driving into all sorts of things. I think it’s what prompted all this. What prompted me to be this blunt with you, and what brought all that energy.”

“Well that’s a can of worms open then.” I said with a massive amount of information to unpack. Just as I had gotten comfortable with sitting up, I went straight back into a fetal position. She wrapped around me again.

“I’m sorry. Knowing this, hurts. And the truth fucking sucks. It always does. One way or another. But you were given the key for a reason. And this is a part of it. It wants you to grow, and learn how to move forward.”

“Then how do I?” I asked, getting emotional at the flood of revelations I should have made. And never did.

“It only takes one person to change a lightbulb, Mike. But the lightbulb has to want to change itself.” She had begun rubbing my arm at this point. Kissing my head softly. I laid there silent. Emotions flowing over me. I was lost at sea. And the storm wasn’t stopping. For a while I just clenched up tighter into my ball. Everything hurt.