Try and do Some Pranking

Naruto woke on the same day he went to sleep, bright eyed and bushy tailed. He was in a time loop, which meant one thing: no consequences. He was gonna revisit a classic prank: repainting the Hokage monument. Spirals were going to twist its surface in garish orange and dark navy. Black eyes and whiskers were the call of the day. It was gonna be so great!

It was not so great. Turns out that defacing one of the most important monuments in Konoha while hosting a lot of enemy ninja is an excellent way to start a war, and the sound of the various villages fighting outside had been going on for a couple of hours. Who would've thought? But far more important to Naruto was the personal fallout. Sakura was crying, and it was his fault. Missing the exam to prank the monument had meant that team 7 immediately failed. Naruto had been imprisoned once the jounin tracked him down, but Sakura had still come to yell at him through her tears. The most infuriating thing was that she was mad because of what he did to Sasuke, not because he'd hurt her. Even now, with Konoha collapsing around her, it was Sasuke this and Sasuke that. Well, it would be different tomorrow. Or today again. However you thought about it, he was going to have to leave the pranking until he could finish the first two exams.

Which was much harder than he expected. He knew he could pass the first one without answering the questions, but Sakura dropped out even though he was there. He tried to repeat his speech from the first time through, but without the stress of thinking he was going to fail, he could never repeat the feat. Sakura still dropped out, saying something about "knowing what was better for him" afterwards. At least she didn't cry in that reset. ****, he decided that he may have to actually pass the first nine questions. Maybe Sakura had a secret sixth sense for academic success, like a new, really shitty bloodline limit or something. So Naruto planned. And realised that his skills were not very good for stealth, almost all of them being loud and flashy.

He spent a long time bashing his head against the wall before he made a breakthrough, and while fixing the drywall he had an epiphany. Why not think about it like a prank? He'd pulled off all sorts of secretive things around jounin before, and he managed to avoid being caught for at least two of them. That was as close to covert experience as he had really gotten, so it was his best chance. With the new mindset in place, Naruto tried again, and got caught as soon as he started. Trying to distract everyone with the harem technique worked wonders against half the guys, but anyone not attracted to women or with an ounce of self control caught him as soon as he started reading tests.

After many similarly failed attempts, he realized that he actually had an excellent method of information gathering, and it was his flashiest move of all. Shadow clones sent their memories back to Naruto when they burst, so if the clone could get to the answer key and memorise them he'd just have to burst himself and Naruto would be home free. He'd need to become something inconspicuous in order to find it, though. After some more time thinking about it, he remembered that Shino used his bugs to cheat, and that henges didn't limit what you could transform into. They were more draining as you transformed into things less similar to your original form, but Naruto had larger chakra reserves than the average jounin. He could handle it. He'd just need to henge into a fly, and no one would be able to find him. The plan was foolproof!

The plan was not foolproof. The answer key was being watched by a ninja, and Naruto's poor chakra control made him incredibly easy to sense, as chakra was hemorrhaging from him constantly as he overpowered the technique. At least the clone burst itself before the ninja could find out who it was. Cue Sakura telling him she knew best, and another failed exam.

Well, if chakra control was the issue, then it was probably a good idea to talk to his teacher. Naruto took Kakashi aside when he met up with the team before the next exam. "Hey teach!" he yelled as he ran up to the silver haired ninja, "Are there any other chakra control exercises I could start trying out? My lack of control is getting to me."

Kakashi cocked his head. "Naruto, as nice as it is to see you taking initiative on this, I don't think this is the time. You have an exam to think about."

"Yeah! And if I'm wondering about this the entire time I won't be able to focus on whatever the exam's about."

Kakashi's eyes crinkled into a smile. "Alright then Naruto. The next step in chakra control is water walking. It's the same concept as tree climbing, but on the surface of a lake. It's significantly more difficult. If you'd like, I'll walk the whole team through it next training session. After the exams finish."

"Thanks, teach!" Naruto ran into the exam center. One exposed henge later, and Naruto had left to find a lake for practicing the new exercise. Kakashi wasn't kidding when he said it was more difficult. The first time Naruto stepped onto the lake, he fell right through. The second time, he overcharged the chakra in his feet so much that he launched himself into the air. Finally, he managed to work out the level he needed to keep his chakra at, but it was like balancing on an ice cube in an earthquake. The smallest fluctuation in power sent him tumbling into the water. He was mid fall when midnight came, and he found his eyes opening to greet his flat once again.

A couple of resets later, practicing water walking after each failed exam, Naruto had another issue. If he missed the exam, he had to deal with a sobbing Sakura. But sitting through the exam was severely cutting into the time he had to practice water walking, and Naruto really wanted to get through the first day. He was going through his cheating plan when he realized something. He was using a shadow clone because it kept its memory, so it followed that he'd be able to use that to train water walking as well. Send a couple hundred clones to various lakes, and he could be done even faster! From the time he started supercharging his training, Naruto was able to water walk in less than a week.

He woke up, got dressed, went to the exam hall, and cheated his way to a nine out of nine. The ninja on guard had actually swatted the fly, but the clone had already memorized the key. Leaning back in his chair, Naruto happily began to plan his first prank once the second test was done with. Twenty minutes later he was sitting through an explanation from Sakura on why she knew best, and Naruto was about ready to pull his hair out. Wandering around, he decided to ask his new friend for help. "Hey Kurama?"

"What do you want, kit?"

"Do you have any ideas on how to stop Sakura from dropping out of the exam?"

"Have you tried talking to her?"

"Huh?"

"Of course you haven't. Just try telling her before the exam starts that no matter what happens, you'll still find a way to become Hokage. That should deal with her worries."

"You sure that'll work? Seems a bit simple."

"Don't you even try and lecture me on simplicity, Naruto. I've seen all of your dumbest stunts. And besides, women aren't as complicated as people will try to tell you. Treat them like people, see them as an equal, be honest, and most of them will be perfectly easy to deal with. Trust me, Naruto. I've spent most of my time since the inception of this village sealed inside women. I have a better perspective than most men."

"But still, how do you know that's what I need to say?"

"She explains her reasoning every single time you two fail the exam! You literally just need to use a rebuttal before she thinks of it."

"Alright, I'll give it a go then! Thanks for the help Kurama. Remember to ask if you want anything, 'kay?"

"You'll know as soon as I do, brat."

Naruto spent the rest of the day practicing his water walking. His control had improved by leaps and bounds, but he still wasn't as comfortable on water as he was on walls. He stopped by Ichiraku Ramen on the way home, as he had pretty much every night since the time loop started. The fact that Naruto woke up every morning with the same amount of money meant he no longer worried about budgeting.

The next morning, Naruto grabbed Sakura for a chat before they entered the exam center. "Hey 'kura, I gotta tell ya something!"

"Naruto, I'm not going to go on a date with you if we pass this. Don't even bother asking."

"Nah, it's not that. I've just been thinking."

"You?"

Naruto ignored her. "We might not pass this, or we might even mess up so badly that we can't retake it. I just wan'cha to know that I'd prefer to charge in head first. Even if we never become chunin, there's not actually any rule that you have to be a jounin to become Hokage!" He finished with a massive grin.

"Uh, okay..."

"Just wanted to tell you! Let's do this thing!"

It was a confused Sakura that walked into the exam center. And, finally, a happy one that walked out. Everything had gone off without a hitch, and Naruto was facing a tomorrow being a new day. He was just getting ready to go out for some ramen when Kurama spoke up. "Kit, I've got an answer to your question."

"I know Kurama! It worked great! We're finally on the second day."

"What? Oh right, the Sakura thing. No, I meant your other question, on how to bring people into the loop."

"Really? You worked fast, it hasn't even been that long!"

"You know you've been trying to pass the first exam for over a month now, right?"

"What?! That long?"

"Yep. And the only things I've had to pass the time are watching your attempts and studying the loop."

"Still Kurama, that's incredible!"

"I suppose I am. And good news, this is going to be intensely entertaining for me."

"Whaddya mean?"

"If you can form a mutual romantic attachment with someone, then have sex with them, you'll be able to bring them into the loop."

Naruto blinked. "So like, asking people out until they say yes?"

"You know what? I'll walk you through the first one. I've had enough of watching you try to brute **** things over the last month."

"Hey, I can do this myself!"

"How long have you been pining after Sakura? Trust me, I can get the two of you together by the end of the month."

"No way."

"Yes way. No mind control or ****. You survive the forest and listen to me, and you two'll be together by the end of the month."

Naruto thought for a long while. "Alright, I'm in."