Tom Goes to the Movies

Tom yawned and tapped his phone.
Only 20:30.
Fuck, he was tired. It felt like he hadn’t slept in months, while he only hadn’t slept in a few weeks. He’d sent Daphne to bed early, after she started nodding off on the couch.
“I’ll take the 21,” he’d promised. “She can take a bottle this time. You take the next one.”
He’d decided to stay awake, but he wasn’t sure he was going to make it. He set a timer to be sure.
He always chuckled at this part. It was just before the climax of the movie, and Luke and Leia were banging for good luck. The reveal that they were actually twins was only invented after the success of the first movie, yet even after a handful of remasters they’d still kept the **** in. Tom was pretty sure the fans would riot if it was taken out. The next two films introduced a romance between Leia and Han to try and make audiences forget it.
To be completely honest, he wasn’t even that big of a fan of the movies. They’d started it all of course, but he was more of a fan of the animated series, which expanded upon the universe. He liked seeing how the Jedi turned further and further away from their original mantra of “make love to the galaxy” to a weapon in a war orchestrated by a power hungry Sith Lord who wanted to impose his puritan will of sexual control onto the galaxy. Dominance but not in the sexy way kind of stuff.
Anyway, he was kind of a nerd, not just Star Wars, but Lord of the Rings (Bilbo’s birthday orgy was still one of the best pieces of cinema ever), Marvel (the MJ with three Spidermen gangbang in No Way Home was actually more ambitious than Endgame) and Indiana Jones (best trilogy ever made, there’s no such thing as a fourth or fifth movie.) It was one of the thousand ways he differed from his spouse, Daphne.
She was sparkly, loud, extroverted, life of the party. She loved going out, partying, banging and drinking anything she could find. And still, she loved him the most.
Them meeting was a cosmic joke. When Daphne’s identical twin sister Sandra (a closeted nerd) had her bachelorette party, they had decided to visit Comic Con, dressed as knock-offs of some superheroes. Daphne, drunk as fuck and dolled up as what Tom could only describe as a mix between Scarlet Witch, Wonder Woman and a stripper, had found him at the cantina and decided he would be her boyfriend. To his surprise, she hadn’t changed her mind the next morning. They’d been together ever since.
She’d already pulled him out of his shell much further than he’d ever thought possible, but his reservedness was still there, a stark contrast with his in-laws. Her mom wasn’t sure what to make of him first. She thought his modesty odd, and his refusal of one of her (according to her) famous blowjobs downright offensive. Still, she’d accepted the way he was after being assured by her daughter that he was that way with everyone except Daphne herself.
So, eventually he became part of the family, their mutual love for Daphne stronger than any awkwardness after establishing his boundaries, despite being sure they still thought him a prude.
He yawned again.
20:49, almost time for Daisy’s bottle.
The **** Star was destroyed now, the rebels gathering to celebrate in what Tom always thought to be a rather gratuitous scene of every major character banging each other. After watching Chewie and Han spitroast Mon Mothma his phone started buzzing.

#

“You’re kidding,” he’d said.
“No, really,” she’d claimed. “I really want to watch the baby Yoda film.”
“I thought that stuff was for nerds?”
She’d shrugged. “So? How about Friday night? I’ll get Sandra to babysit.”
“Uh yeah,” he had said, stumped.
“What do you want me to wear?”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t you people wear costumes to these things?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess…”
“You know what, I think I’ll just surprise you.”
If he was surprised back then, he was gobsmacked when he came home Friday night. She was clad from head to toe in blue Mandalorian armor, helmet under her arm, her red hair styled exactly like his favorite character from The Clone Wars.
“Hey you,” she chuckled, and it was as if she was the real thing for a moment. He’d never noticed how much she looked like the actress Katee Sackhoff
He must’ve been staring like an idiot, because he only noticed Sandra after she greeted him.
“You guys should hurry, if you still want to grab a bite before the movie,” she said. “We’ll be fine!”
He flew into his cheap ass Jedi robes, feeling incredibly underdressed next to his wife, and jumped after her into the car. Half an hour and a McDrive later, they were sitting in a full movie theatre.
“You good?” He asked. “You’re a little quiet.”
“Uh yeah,” she said smiling. “Just excited, I guess.”
She was acting quite unusual. She’d ordered something different than usual, barely spoke or looked at him.
“You sure?”
She seemed to ponder the question for a moment, then lifted an eyebrow.
His phone rang.
Daphne.
He looked back at his wife, confused. Her phone wasn’t even in her hand. As he answered, things finally clicked.
“Hey hun!” He could practically hear her devious smile through the phone. “Having fun?”
“Daph, what is this?”
“I know you haven’t been having sex, hun. I know I’ve been sucking your dick, but you need pussy. It’s not healthy to not get any ass for that long. Sandy agrees.”
He kept his eyes firmly on the empty silver screen.
“Daph…”
“Don’t act like you don’t want her. I saw how you looked at her in that knight’s outfit. Besides, she’s practically me. Or, you know, go watch that green baby the whole time, whatever you like. Speaking of, I gotta feed ours. Love you, bye!”
She hung up before he could protest.
He took a full minute to gather enough courage to look Sandy in the eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “It was Daph’s plan. We can just watch the movie if you want.”
He wasn’t sure what he wanted.
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
“I really am looking forward to this movie,” she whispered when the ads started. “The Mandalore Arc is my favorite part of The Clone Wars.”
“I figured,” he said. “You’re the most convincing Bo-Katan I’ve ever seen.”
“Thanks. I made the plates myself.”
“EVA foam?”
“Worbla, better for details.”
Halfway through the movie both her armor and his robes were on the floor. It seemed he was about to become a lot closer with his sister-in-law.