Time to get clean, and maybe dirty…

After long days on the road, your skin felt caked in the dust of the road and you were detecting a very significant odor of horse about yourself. Getting clean was of higher priority than getting off, so you went in search of a bathhouse. The innkeeper directed you to one that he claimed was the best in the city. You found the Slippery Serpent easily enough, and if it was the best bathhouse in the city, then the city was a hell of a lot poorer than it looked. The building was fairly cheap wood, but the steam and smoke that rose from the chimneys smelled sweet. The sign was a Sea Serpent, twisted into the shape of a bathtub with a busty woman sitting up in it, so her breasts were clearly visible. At one point the bathhouse must have been more successful, as the sign was quite good, though it was faded.

You gave a mental shrug and walked inside. You hadn’t actually wanted the best bathhouse in the city, just a place you could get clean. The door led to a brief entryway that was mostly filled by two large men armed with cudgels and a larger woman, armed with a large bag that was heavy with coins. “I take it I pay on the way in?” you asked with a slight smile.

The woman nodded, jingling the bag, “Ten silver for a private bath,” she said grumpily.

“Not unless it comes with a mermaid with great big tits and a tight cunt,” you replied simply.

One of the guards stepped forward threateningly, but the woman waved him back, “For brave warriors, we got a sale, eight silver,” she offered, “but you gotta find your own mermaid.”

“I can go as high as five,” you countered.

The guard grunted something that sounded like, “Eight, or I break your legs.”

“Five, or I kill these two, toss your ass into the street and go in on my own,” you countered coldly, hand falling to the hilt of your sword.

“Six,” the woman offered. Your eyes met hers and your hand didn’t leave the hilt of your sword. “and we’ll throw in a mermaid, though I can’t vouch for her tit size.”

“Done,” you agreed after a long moment of thought. The wood and water were damn expensive. The mermaid was obviously going to be just a whore, probably one who worked for the bathhouse, but that was fine, relieving two needs at once. She directed you to one of the rooms and you passed her the coins. Once you were inside you stripped down, dropping the warning charm next to the door and carefully tilting your sword so you could reach it from where you were reclining in the empty tub. The tub was large and well made of some sort of ceramic material and there was plenty of room for you and a few others.

Before you even began to shiver, the charm went off and a handsome young man, who probably doubled as a gigolo came in, with two large buckets of water draped over his shoulders and poured it at your feet. He returned a dozen times before the tub was filled about three quarters of the way and he stopped coming. A minute of luxuriating in the hot water later, the door opened again and you looked over at the frame in the doorway.