Those Horny Monks (Stopped)

Xander weaved his skateboard through the crowd of Sunnydale students. It was overall a pretty poor effort and he knew this was not a hobby we was going to be able to keep going.

Eventually he ended up crashing and spilled out onto the concrete. As he picked himself up he saw a sight that would change his life forever.

There were two girls walking up the school steps. One blonde, one brunette. He had never seen them before, but instantly he was in love.

"Hey," he said to a passing student. "Any idea who the new girls are?"

"Oh, them? Yeah, those are the Summers sisters."

-

"What are you doing?" the monk said as he entered the room.

"What I'm supposed to," the other monk replied. "And Ravil, please refer to me by my chosen American name."

"Okay, Dick," Ravil said, though something about the name didn't feel right. "What are you doing with the reality reconstruction?"

"I'm making Dawn's history," Dick replied. "You know, the plan, to hide the key in the Slayer's sister so she'll protect it against the Beast."

"But why are you doing it...like this? The plan was to give the Slayer a much younger sister who she would care for and..."

"That version of Dawn ends up being a whiny bitch that everyone hates for a few years," Dick cut in. "No, we need Buffy, and everyone around her, to protect the key. You want that complete devotion to protection? The answer is you make the sexiest creature in existence."

"I don't know..." Ravil said uncertainly.

"Look, I have all of the documentary materials," Dick said as he pointed to a stack of papers and videos. "I'm the one who has been researching Western culture."

Ravil picked one of the magazines up, "This is from Japan. I'm not sure that this...Hentai and pornography is an accurate reflection of the world."

"Of course it is. We're so isolated up here that we haven't seen how the world has changed. The world has become much more sexual."

Ravil nodded his head, he'd heard from reliable sources that that was true. Though none of them made it sound quite like this.

"Are you sure it will work?" he asked.

"Absolutely," Dick said confidently. "Nothing is more powerful than sex. If you'd like, we can let the other monks vote."

"Vote? Why?"

"Well, would they rather spend their time recreating memories of an angsty preteen, or a hot 18 year old nymphomaniac sex machine?"

"Well..." Ravil wavered, "We're probably all going to be killed by the Beast anyway. Having a little bit of fun before hand doesn't seem wrong."

"Great, let's get to work!"