The newlyweds...

At least two-thirds of the guests did not come. Julius, standing in front of the altar, at first thought it was due to the feud of both families, but looking at the faces gathered, he found that something else was bothering them.

Women were **** to put on their dresses, and even when, they did not even cross their legs, so as not to crush the newly acquired nuts. Men concealed their lack of manhood through their masculine guise and closed body expressions, often unknowingly betraying the acquired breeze between their thighs. They all suffered from the second day of the exchange in complete silence.

"Thanks, child, for letting me take care of your wheels", Father Laurence spoke, as he shuffled the pages of the holy book, impatient to make the vows of love for the young couple, "Now you won't have to worry about anything on the road during the honeymoon."

"I should be thanking you. The Father helps us so much, especially since our parents are negative about ... everything", Julius could feel the hostile stares on his skin. Lady Montane and Lord Caput on opposite sides of the invisible barricade glared at him, and even the gaze of Rosaline, the only bridesmaid at the altar, gave the impression of vexation.

The ceremony began with solemn choirs, both households made sure it was a wedding that the whole municipality would hear about, the loudest event of the year. In terms of glamor and effort, they outdid themselves, not so much to please the happy couple as to brag to the other side of their resources' potential.

And then Romea came to light, all in white. Beautiful as undisturbed nature, shining with glee, like the sun in a summer, walked slowly, and the harps played to the rhythm of her steps. Her appearance reveal no trace of the change that everyone had undergone, she was too absorbed in the moment to even be bothered by it.

"I think I finally understand why you are doing this", Tybalt was as speechless as the groom, hardly uttering the words. Julius couldn't look away, gasping and slightly flexing his body under the influence of the wetness in his underpants, which he could not stop.

The couple did not have time to exchange courtesies on the altar, they only gave each other appreciative glances and proceeded to the ritual. They repeated the words after the friar, getting closer and closer to the desired moment, when nothing else could separate them nevermore.

"... If anyone can show just cause why they may not be lawfully wed, speak now or forever hold your peace ...", at Laurence's words, the church door opened with a loud bang. Everyone turned their heads to see a man dressed in a white suit contrasting with the groom's.

"I will not let my damsel marry this lowborn. She gave her hand to me, and it belongs to me by law!", Paris, ex-fiance of the bride, echoed, rushing to the steps of the altar. Tybalt and Julius barred his way, like the brave Horatii.

"The only thing you are owed by the law is to banish you for offending the church and the gathered noble guests", the groom growled, directing his finger down. Paris, not guessing what Julius meant, looked at what he was pointing to. At the waist, on a snow-white suit, hung a strapon, stained with excrement.

Security took Paris away with a large dose of unnecessary ferocity, and the heads of both houses looked at the whole incident with disgust, pretending it wasn't their idea in the first place. Only Romea seemed content, and she smiled when Miss Benvolio appeared in the doorway next to the passing ex-fiance. Her thumbs up and a frivolous smile emphasized her contribution to the incident.