The newest member of the cast!

“Welcome, Viewers, to the newest seasons of Total Drama,” Chris McLean said with a grin as the camera turned on with a close up of his face. “We’ve taken you camping, to the movies, and around the world in prior seasons. Now, it’s time to take a more academical turn... Get ready for... Total! Drama! University!”

The camera pulls back to reveal Chris is standing in front of an obviously abandoned and decrepit university campus.

“Our usual group of social malcontents, idiots and deviants are back to compete with each other for a million dollar grand prize! In fact–“ Chris is cut off by a horrible screeching sound as an ancient rusty yellow bus barrels down the driveway towards him. “Ah, here are our contestants now...”

The bus jerks to a stop, inches from an unruffled Chris, tossing several of its passengers out of their seats. The rusty front bumper suddenly falls off with an loud CLANG!

Chris looks down at the bumper with a raised eyebrow and then turns back to the camera. “Welcome back, contestants!”

The folding door of the bus, shuddered for a moment, stood still, and then shuddered again, obviously stuck tight.“All right,” Chef’s voice bellowed from within the yellow behemoth, “Front door’s stuck! Everybody out the back!” The contestants groan in unison and the rear emergency exit popped open. One by one the contestants began to file out, toting their luggage in hand.

“Gwen!” - The goth antisocial hottie!

“Izzy!” - The psycho red-headed hosebeast!

“Cody!” - The cool kid wanna-be!

“Trent!” - The cool rocker guy!

“Alejandro!” - The scheming Latin hunk!

“Heather!” - The scheming bitch!

“Katie! Or Sadie! (I can never remember which is which...)” The skinny B.F.F.!

“The other one!” The not-so-skinny B.F.F.!

“Justin!” - The face! The body! The... that’s about it actually...

“LeShawna!” - The sassy sistah!

“Harold!” - The nerd with the skills!

“Sierra!” - The stalker– er... Enthusiastic fan-girl!

“Owen!” - The lovable oaf!

“DJ!” - The (overly) sensitive black guy!

“Noah!” - The apathetic preppy!

“Eva!” - The oh-so-scary bodybuilder!

“Courtney!” - The anal-retentive C.I.T.!

“Duncan!” - The punk miscreant!

“Ezekial!” - The homeschooled hoser!

“Lindsay!” - The busty blonde ditz!

“Beth!” - The girl with a great personality!

“Geoff!” - The cowboy hat wearing party guy!

“Bridgette!” - The surfer girl hottie!

“Tyler!” - The dumb jock!

“And our newest contestant, John!” - The non-descript guy!

The camera back on Chris, he continues. “Welcome everyone! First things first, let's find out who’ll be teamed together this time around!”