The first changes

Xander sat back down and faced Willow just as he had been. He didn’t have any control of his body as the woman moved behind him and whispered in his ear. “Here are the rules. You get to say one thing about a person or group and it will become normal. The more powerful the statement, the more you have to balance it with your next two statements. However, I get to choose the subject of the next two statements and…”

She leaned in close to his ear, “it has to be sexual and cause problems for your world saving efforts.”

“And if I refuse?” Xander managed to croak out.

“Too late for that, she’s already invoked the spell,” the woman said as she gestured to Willow. “Back out now and she’ll be blown to bits and then the Apocalypse will happen.”

Xander nodded his head, “Then make your statement,” she told him.

He took a moment to think it through. He just needed to nudge things in the right direction to give them a chance. If he asked for too much, he would have to give a lot in return. The problem was that the Hellmouth and the Sisters of Jhe were just too dangerous to deal with at once. “The Sisters of Jhe are incapable of approaching the vicinity of the Hellmouth.”

“Ooh, I like that. You’re clever. You didn’t ask for too much, but gave yourself a fighting chance,” she said as she put a finger to her chin. “I’ll rate that a 2 out of 5.”

As she said this Xander saw the scale that Willow had set up on the other side of the room move to the right side. “Now, we need to balance it. Remember the rules: it has to be sexual, I choose the subject, and the harms and benefits of the three statements must balance out.”

“Your first subject is: Buffy Summers…”

Xander paused, sexual, but doesn’t push it too far. “Buffy Summers has an intense need to make out with me.”

She smiled at him. “I like that. It doesn’t push the sex too far, but does cause your group a lot of problems. I’m being generous for the moment. I’ll score that a 2. That means the following choice can be neutral. Your subject: In school…”

Xander swallowed as he thought how to limit the damage, “In school public displays of affection are allowed.”

The woman was gone and Xander was left facing Willow. She was sweating heavily and barely able to stand. “Did it work?”

Xander took a moment to think, “Let’s call Buffy over.”

-

“Hey, Will,” Buffy said as she entered the house. “I got your message to come over. Do you have an idea on how to stop the Apocalypse?”

Willow came out of the kitchen, “Hey, Buff, before we get to that, Xander is here.”

Buffy narrowed her eyes, “Why wouldn’t you tell me that?”

“Because…” Willow began as Xander stepped out from around the corner.

Buffy immediately rushed forward and grabbed a hold of him and pressed her lips to his. For a moment Xander resisted, before leaning into the kiss as their hands began to run over each other.

They made out for a full minute before Willow’s coughing finally broke them apart, “Sorry,” Buffy murmured.

Xander looked to Willow, “The spell didn’t work.”

“What spell?”