The dwarven diver

You grab Petra’s hand so she can’t back out, you wait for the opportune time to make your move. You watch several people come and go as you wait. A dwarf on a makeshift diving board yells out grabbing the attention of the crowd. He wears a swimming speedo which is obnoxiously pink and shows off the outline of his package.

“Attention all, Tis I Fergus O’Fintley. Greatest of bards and expert diver, master o’ words and splasher of water.”

“Oh boy this guy.” You say quietly under your breath.

“I have come to show ya me hidden divin’ technique! Something wonderous, so rare that few eyes have seen it! Just watchin’ the dive in execution can restore lost fingers, cure sickness and even help ye pleasure yer wife in bed ain’t that right lads?” There’s a small chuckling amidst the crowd.

He continues his speech as a new plan pops into your brain. You could get almost directly behind him and push him in. This might cause enough chaos for you to escape, even if it meant a few people noticing you. You feel your eyes naturally drawn to Fergus, eager to watch his legendary dive as it seems Petra is in the same boat. You’re not sure you’ll get another opportunity this good.