The Same Battle Again But Expanded and Augmented

Here's the sequel to
http://www.thevalkyrie.com/stories/1misc23/crocodiles.txt .... -
it's even loger and yes, even more violent !!! So only read it if you
want it!! - Enjoy!

A Whole Lot Of Invading Men Are Overwhealmed By Some Gorgeous Curvy
Celeb Babes

"I want the castle and I want this land. I also want the weak
little girls who inhabit it caught and taken to our dungeons for us
to play with" said the large shouting Supreme General through his
yellow beard. I know not .. of any reason .. why nobody has come here
before us .. to capture this place. But as we are only dealing with
light-weight girls with no martial arts training, this will be easy.
And fun. We will **** and pillage, slaughter and take sex slaves. So
remember not to kill any more of them than absolutely necessary. Got
that?"

While he was speaking, alarm bells were ringing inside the castle,
and scantily dressed girls were running in all directions in the
castle, racing to be ready and at their station when the attackers
arrive.

"If we fail to capture them, or put so much as a scratch or a dent
in any one of out list of ten most wanted babes including Queen
Angelina Jolie, we are all in deep trouble when we return to base, so
we had better do a good job of capturing the castle, do I make myself
understood?" -

"Yes sir" replied the chorus of 540 ninjas, neatly lined up in rows
of 20 and filling up the field at the beginning of the approach to
the castle, each with a full head to toe black ninja outfit and black
face paint. The general was under orders to take the most wanted
babes as captives, and he wanted it so bad' that he was sending each
and every guard, soldier and helping hand in the platoon out to catch
them. They had to act fast, while certain resident ladies who were
known as good fighters able to defend themselves were believed to be
away on a trading, modelling and film shoot tour.

At present, the girls had no more than a quarter of an hour to
prepare for the invasion - the loyal slaves (almost all of whom were
still alive, being treated fairly well under the circumstances, and,
apart from some scratches and bruises from recent punitive beatings,
were in better health than they were the day the castle was taken by
the girls and they became their slaves) were locked away.

As it was Sunday evening, all the slaves (all 143 of them) were
in various assembly rooms, bedrooms, dungeons, and playdens, waiting
for the girls to come and play with them. From there, they would have
no idea that there was a battle raging outside. So it was just
another quiet night in of cleaning for them. And the alarm bells were
used every time Queen Angelina wanted people assembled for a speech
she gave, so they assumed it was just speech time again, which they
did not mind.

The tide was right. The men had crossed over at low tide, and
three hours from now the escape would be blocked off, as the water
surges back in, making the men's ships unreachable until the tide
goes back out again. The guards knew this, and were keen to get their
captives back where they belonged, in confinement where they could be
touched up. But they also did not mind the thought of missing the
tide, and having to pleasure themselves with the girls in the castle
for five hours before they could sail out.

"Now draw your swords and march!" ordered the shouty Supreme
General.

How the naughy girlies had managed to persuade, fool or overpower
whoever ruled the castle before them, leaving each one unable to
escape, was beyond them. They were only slender little girls after
all, in no way capable of overpowering a man.

The troops set off, in one tight formation, marching toward the
castle. It was a fog free day. Angelina Jolie was on top of the
castle, pouting, throwing sideways glances, pointing to various
battlestations, and ensuring that the girls were all stationed where
they could do the most damage at the right time. They saw the
advancing men and were thinking fond carressive thoughts about their
strong masculine bodies, and how they wanted to get up close and
personal with them and play with them, if only it was a peaceful
visit.

"Look here" said one of the foremost, spotting a scarf and a pair
of designer glasses by the side of one of the paths, near one of the
many steep cliff drops beside the approach. "See these? They clearly
belong to two of the 10 most wanted babes, the tiny silk blue-and-
white scarf belongs to Shannen Doherty, who usually wears it around
her neck, and the shades belong to Liz Hurley, who normally wears
these above her forehead. That means we're in luck; they are
definitely in there."

• "He's right" came the reply - right then "Conve-ERGE !!!", the
  marching hoards of troops all converged into one path, heading for
  the castle's entrance, as they kept on marching, their sights set on
  the clear goals they had been set - dozens of men were given little
  torn off snippets of the scarf or a quarter of the sunglasses as a
  prize to keep in their pocket. They were hell bent on forcing their
  way into between the feminine legs. Little did they realise, how long
  these items had been lying there; how many men have been brought into
  their demise by them; or how ready the girls were for this.

The path snaked around a large bend, circularly. It was slightly
cloudy now, but they were white clouds, as they approached the
castle, in dead silence - no women to be seen and no sound but the
marching of the mens boots to be heard. They were very keen to find
the girls, grab them, have their violent way with them, and get them
home with them as gorgeous trophies, as they marched past a long
stetch of very steep, very deep cliffline that runs beside the path.

Seeing the castle so apparently abandoned gave the men a lot of
confidence - "this was going to be easy", they thought and whispered
to themselves. They were sure they would find the vixens, easily
overwhealm them and were looking forward to giving them a good
telling off for any resistance or struggling without permission, and
maybe even make some of them watch as the others are given a good
spanking for being naughty, "oh that will be great", they thought.
Then they will be sucking our cocks to seek forgiveness. They were
also looking forward to seeing their famously seductively pretty
faces, and the curvy figures that came with them.

It did not occur to them that the girls might have had a plan, nor
did it occur to them that
simply putting their arms gently around the girls and cuddling them
into captivity might not suffice to break their resistance. Neither
did it occur to them that Princess Jolie might have been exerting
some influence by sending out fake signals to the rulers of their
country of weakness and frailty, and that was why the invading ****
was sent.

520 ninja soldiers were now walking in rows of 20 up to the
castle's entrance. Only 20 were kept as lookouts stationed beside a
cave door that might form part of the castle.

The front half of them could now almost reach out and touch the
tall castle walls, 20 of whom were slinging a giant battering ram
toward the entrance gate.

Most of the men were on the brink of arousal, just for thinking
themselves to be about to spot these naughty ladies. They knew that
this castle was inhabited by slender babes, weighing of what half the
average ninja weighs, with long legs, long hair and the softest lips,
breasts and hips that could ever be imagined.

This way, they were sitting ducks, soon to be grabbed by dozens of
eager male hands. And the men had brought along more than enough
manpower to do the job and earn high praise from the Supreme General
and his Princesses and Concubines for doing so. Little did they know
that the Princesses and Concubines were in fact feminists who
supported the girls in this mission.

There was an eerie silence now - the men were about to bash the
door down, and rather than be slightly afraid, they felt cocky like a
greaseball retuning to his lair. Testosterone was in the air as there
was not one man there who did not want to be part of this mission.
Just the thought of being able to make some form of physical contact
with the ten gorgeous most wanted babes (who were wanted for being
sexy more than for any crimes they had committed) was more motivation
than any of them needed. They wanted these girls, and they did not
mind a bit of a struggle, as some "girl action" was quite nice really
(oh for some physical contact with these damsels! - they longed for
it ever so hard!). This was going to be a lot of fun, they thought.
Little did they know what was in store for them.

"Halt. ... HAAAHHHLT!" the convoy stopped, as the frontmost men had
seen something on the front left castle wall. It was none other
than Britney Spears, in her bikini, along with Jennifer Anniston, and
Queen Angelina Jolie. All three looked gorgeous, and were waving
merrily at the boys, not a care in the world, and covered with
flowers of every colour all around their bodies. How odd that they
did not seem frightened. Maybe they were not expecting an army of 540
men to be sent to capture them. Maybe they welcomed the visit, and
fancied a fondle.

"So Jennifer, Britney, and Angelina ... Do you have any idea how
much trouble you're in?" the Supreme General asked them frankly. -
"No. Do you?" they replied, all three speaking in chorus. Totally
baffled, the men said things like "oooooh!", "my, my" , "they're
gaggin' for it" ad "miaow!" .

The section heads were thinking about how to word their orders,
and how many men it would take to sudue each of the girls, when they
noticed something. There was a second castle wall, on their right,
which also somehow seemed well lit, fully visible and despite the
upward angle, on which a further nineteen girls were standing in
their best evening gown outfits, which matched the flowers
surrounding and overhanging them, and revealing long perfect legs,
seductive eyes and feminine curves. It was none other than Charlotte
Church, the Spice Girls, Emma (from the movie Emma), Melinda
Messenger, Liz Hurley, Mitzi Kapture (from Silk Stalkings), Heather
Locklear, 2x Atomic Kitten, Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu, Drew Barrymore,
all three girls from Saved By the Bell and Shannen Doherty. Wow! What
a line up!

They were standing in a straight line, facing the invaders, and
each was rubbing the one in front of her. One hand was rubbing her
back, the other was, well, appeared to be playing with one of her
breasts. The men were all stunned and speechless.
They could not believe what they were seeing.

"Just take a look at that, boys" - "Wow!" - "Amazing" -
"Ravishing" - "yummy" - "what a treat", - "kind of makes you want to
go easy on them" - "I know".

"Hey! Boys! Will you come easy, or are you going to put up a
fight?"

All the boys were thinking "I'll cum easy with you" except the
Supreme Genral, who said
"Do you think these 22 unarmed slender girls can defend this
castle? Or do you TO US surrender now?"

"What, just give in? To you? Without a fight?" replied Lucy Liu.

"Not likely" said Cameron Diaz.

"We love a good fight" said Drew Barrymore.

"The next time you see me in a dungeon ..." said Liz Hurley, "is
when Queen Jolie and I **** and probably kill your General" - she
loved the feeling of power that these words conveyed.

All the boys laughed, smiling at the thought of seeing Liz Hurley
**** the nasty Supreme General, what a fantasy come true that
would be! But they had come here with a job to do, and their jobs
were on the line.

"Alright then, girls. You leave us with no other option, ... but I
warn you, this could be brutally painful" - All twenty-two girls
replied in unison "we kno-o-ow!"

"And we hope you boys don't mind, ..." said the other two girls
from Charmed, plus both Nicole Kidman and that brunette from the
Bewitched movie, plus the curly blonde Cupid Serendipity from that
spellbinding episode of Xena, and Cher, plus I dream of Jeannie and
Sabrina the Teenage Witch, all standing on a ledge high up with one
hand on their hips, looking great and the other hand pointing at all
the men they were overlooking, who suddenly turned to look and see
them standing up there next to Queen Angelina Jolie, Kate Moss,
Shannen Doherty, Jennifer Aniston, and Britney Spears on the left-
side castle wall.

This was the first sighting of these witches, and it caught the
men very much by surprise. With very mischievous smirks on their
faces, the Charmed three said "before we put a girly little spell on
you all! - how about we first let the girls you see give you a taste
of battle without any spells? .... and Charlotte Church here has won
the right to be the scorekeeper for today".
The men were looking up, stunned and surprised, seduced and
curious. The Spice Girls, Kate Moss, Liz Hurley and Britney Spears
were now holding these ultra-long sharp metal spears. They were so
long that it was not so much a case of throwing, as simply shoving
the speartips into the already nearby soldiers. With one poke, Baby
Bunton, Victoria Beckham, Scary Dark Mel, Sporty Melanie C and Ginger
Halliwell all sunk their spears into male chest flesh, still holding
onto the top of the spears, then pushing them in deeper, as the men
were completely pierced through front and back, they stood
there. "That'll spice up their lives, said Charlotte Church, ...
we'll tell you what we want, what we really really want: to
triumph! ... " The speared through ninjas dropped dead. She was
keeping count: "FIVE DOWN! - Five hundred and thirtyfive left
go ..."

The men felt humilated, but were still keen to see what was going
to happen next, and whether they were going to get to put their hands
on the girls, which they really wanted to do. Their cocks were
craving it so bad, there was no turning back now whatever happens.

Kate Moss, Liz Hurley and Britney Spears (living up to their name)
followed suit, doing exactly the same with some slightly shorter
spears that needed throwing. They aimed at the nearest targets, threw
and SWOOSH! Three men fell, killed, onto their backs, with pink
javelins that have red ribbons tied to its back sticking out of their
chest. "Hit me baby one more time! Eh boys? ... eight men down and
plenty more left to go" commented Charlotte Church. What a
humiliating start to the battle this had been for all the men.

The men suddenly realised they had brought no catapult, nothing to
shoot up those walls with them, so they had better get that front
door rammed open quickly!

Then Emma and all the other front row girls who had just picked up
their weapons, aimed small white bows and arrows at the men, just as
in the poster for the movie Emma, only these weren't cupids arrows.
They were laiden full of female fury and seductive deathwishes from
lethal ladies.

They fired one by one as they stood in a row, starting with the
front girl first and with Charlotte providing a running commentary:
Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" "Well, done, Emma, that's nine down ... Melinda
Messenger" Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" "Supreme! That was right in the face!
Ten. Mitzi Kapture" Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" "so good! he won't be stalking
ANYone anymore. Eleven. Atomic Kitten Natasha"
Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" "right in the heart - can anyone top that? Twelve.
Atomic Kitten Melanie" Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" "through an eye and the
brain - very good shooting, girl - see why they call these two
Atomic? Thirteen men down! And now for Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and
Drew Barrymore, all in sync" Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" "That's three ninjas
kebabed by our sexy Angels! And we hit sweet sixteen. Jennifer
Anniston next"

The men were suffering quick losses, and most of the ones that had
been shot through the chest by an arrow had been holding the
battering ram or a large male flag - hardly any arrows had been fired
at the ordinary swordwielding ninjas. But as men fell, more and more
men found that they had to take over empty places on the battering
ram, climb on top of the shot ones, and try to **** this door open.

Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" another man fell from the battering ram, with an
arrow in his chest. "great shot! Friends no more, get it? Ah, he
deserved it. And he was number seventeen. Now may I present all three
girls from Saved By the Bell, Tiffany, Amber and Rachel"
Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" "looks like they were not saved by the bell. I make
that twenty down, well done girls, and still no sign of progress by
the men, you're in a bit of a quandry, right? And now for Shannen
Doherty and the Charmed Ones!" Swoosh! Swoosh!
Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" "Aarrgh!" "Aarrgh!" "Aarrgh!" "Aarrgh!" "Aarrgh!" "A
arrgh!" "Aarrgh!". "Wow! That was amazing. eleven men felled with
only three arrows. You girls rule! 31. And now, we proudly present,
Sabrina the teenage Witch, accompanied by me"

Swoosh! Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" "Aarrgh!" "Aarrgh!" Again, the men
holding the battering ram fell, hit with deadly arrows and so unable
to ram the door open "oh, what a shame, boys, our arrows were not in
sync and so we must shoot again". Swoosh! "Aarrgh!" "That was a lot
better. I make that 38, after we killed seven goons with only four
arrows." "Ok. Girls! Pause... Change of plans", said Angelina
Jolie. "It looks like you boys need some help" - Swoosh! "Aarrgh!"
and Shannen Doherty fired a late volley into a male chest, killing a
man. "Sorry" (39) - "Forgiven" said the queen, carrying on "as you
boys can clearly not get your act straight, WE are going to open the
gates up FOR you and LET you in". No sooner had she said that, as the
gates fell open and the men started storming in, in a frenzy,
hurrying to find the girls and get out before they get shot.

The poor fools did not know the layout of the castle. They
stormed along the widest path into the main castle courtyard. The
only ways into the castle itself (where the girls were) had been
hidden behind two giant carpet & silk wallhangings next to the
entrance. Each and every man stormed past them, into the dead-end
courtyard.

The team of witches joined hands and said "Goddess hear us,
Serendipity - transfix these men aller kazam!". The men all froze at
once, on the spot where they stood. Like statues. In silence. As if
frozen.

"BUT I did not say I would not let the witches put a spell on
you." The men kept on pouring into the castle, while Angelina
finished what she was saying "Ladies, put a muscle-freeze on all of
them, and ALL the girls will get to choose one man each to keep as
her own. She must spray paint her name on him, handcuff him, and fell
him so good that when the rest of them retreat, he will not make it
out of the castle before the gate shuts again. After you have done
that and beforehand too, you must ensure you take all their swords
and put them into our collection sacks, ok? Girls: You have FIVE
minutes to make your choice, and finish the task, Ok?"

A huge cheer was heard, as a hundred, no, two hundred women
stormed into the castle courtyard, where all the men stood, frozen in
position, in mid-running-step, able to move their eyes, see, hear,
feel, but not able to move a muscle no matter how hard they tried.

"Well done, witches!" cried Charlotte Church "now I must run and
select me a good one, before they are all taken".

Among the two hundred ladies who came rushing out to choose a man
they wanted were
Abi Titmuss, Claudia Schiffer, Lisa Scott-Lee, Cathrine Zeta-Jones,
Colleen Rooney, Rachel Stevens, Myleene Klass, Jennifer Ellison,
Celine Dione, Gloria Estefan, Barbie, Martina Hingis, Francine from
ECW, Vanessa Angel, Tiffany Amber Thiessen, Pamela Anderson, Penelope
Cruz, Demi Moore, The Olsen Twins, Catwoman Michelle Pfeiffer,
Supergirl Helen Slater in that very outfit, the Baise-Moi deadly duo;
La Femme Nikita; more royal and team England WAGs; Mila Jovonich,
Fariah who had long ago conquered Sven Goran-Ericsson; Monica
Lewinsky; Kate Moss, Elle Mc Pherson, Drew Barrymore, Sophie Ellis
Bextor, Sheena Jungle Princess and all five spice girls, all in their
best performing outfits, make-up, pezzazz, determination, hair,
features, curves, the lot! Billie Piper, Chantelle, Anna Kournikova,
Xuxa, Little Miss Dynamite-ee-hee, Svetlana Vaidisova, the Bionic
Woman, Maria Sharapova, all four **** Housewives, Candice Bergen
the elder blonde daughter from Family Matters, Heather from Alf &
from Mr Belvedere, Linda Evangelista, Jennifer Lopez, all five girls
from Girls Aloud; ... all were busy running past men in search of one
that was "just right" for them - and those who found one they were
happy with stopped in front of them, spray-painted their name in
large letters on their front and handcuffed them, while others were
rushing around still looking for Mr Right (which was a very difficult
decision to make considering the ninja outfits and facepaint, coupled
with the time constraint, but it did not matter much, as slaves could
always be sold or disposed of if they were no good any more).

More and more girls kept rushing out into the army of men,
selectively: The Pussycat Dolls, all three partneresses plus the
villainess from Cleopatra 2525, the girl from Jack of all Trades, the
girl from X files, the curly Greek and blackhaired Floridian babes
from CSI, Alicia Silverstone, Jennifer Lopez, Christina Aguilera,
Monica Seles, Katie "Jordan" Price, Kylie Minogue, Xena Warrior
Princess, along with Gabrielle and Collisto, Maria Sharapova, the
Relic Hunter, Chelsea Clinton, Oxana Bajul, Pipi Longstockings;
Darryl Hannah; Kim Basinger; singer Cherryl Crow; Kelly from Married
with Children dressed as "the Verminator"; Little miss Dynamite-ee-
hee; Svetlana Vaidisova, the Bionic Woman, Linda Evangelista;
Jennifer Lopez, Melinda Messenger, Liz Hurley, and the 2x Atomic
Kittens; Merryl Streep; Crouching Dragon Hidden Tiger Girl; Resident
Evil HeroGirl; Mary-Sue from the Beverley Hillbillies; the kicking &
punching female ActionGirl from the DisneyWorld Indiana Jones
Stuntshow; Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore, plus the
original Charlie's Angels; Billie Piper, Chantelle, Anna Kournikova,
and Xuxa; Sophie Ellis Bextor, Buffy The Vampire Slayer x 3 (Kristy
Swanson from the movie; Sarah Michelle Gellar and the adorable
assistant who was also in American Pie); May-Jay Blithe; Sheena
Easton; Shilpa Shetty; Stefanie Seymour; the DirtyDancing girl; All_i-
Wanna_do_is-Have Some Fun girl Cherryl Crow; Kate Winslet; Sharon
Stone; Sandra Bullock; both girls from tatu; the Cheeky Girls;
Nigella Lawson; Carol Vorderman; Jenny Garth; Rachel Hunter; plenty
of bond girls; Lorena Bobbit; Raquel Welsh; Ice, Diamond, Sky & Lace,
the American Gladiators; the babe from Dawsons Creek; Muriel from
Muriels Wedding; Jane Fonda; the Chanel No 5, Lancome, Givenchy &
Hermes perfume girls; Ginger and Mary-Anne from Gilligan's Island,
and, of course, Wonder Woman. All came swinging toward the men from
above on ropes, down slides, running out of the concealed entrance,
or just leaping down straight onto the men, landing in such a way
that makes the men absorb the full impact of the landing. And the
girls were now swinging, running and jumping towards clusters of men,
who stood, captivated, seduced, hesitant, and stuck there.

In their beloved red swimsuits and bikinis, along came all the
girls from Baywatch, Jennifer Anniston, Suzanne Sommers, Joss Stone,
and Avril Lavigne. Each one chose a boy they quite fancy, pointed
their five fingers towards them as they approached, wrapped their
hands around their heads, tightened the grip, then with a thud! drove
their knees into their victims' balls, slapped them suddenly loud!
Slap! around the face, as if they had just discovered something bad
about their soldiers. Then along came Angelina Jolie, the Queen-to-
be, with a naked, bleeding, wounded man (the Supreme General),
dragged behind her by a long thin rope, Trinny and Susannah had cut
his clothes off him and Angelina herslef provided the beating. "How
would you like to be our captives now, eh boys?" said Angelina
Jolie. "Still looking forward to putting your greasy slimy hands on
us?" said Avril Lavigne with fury.

The next thing the men noticed, ladies came rushing toward them,
had their swords easily pulled out of their hands, then stopped and
hugged them. They had been chosen. Pink spray cans were quickly
passed from hand to hand and used to write KATE or JENNY G or SANDRA
B or Lucy Liu on the mens faces and bodies. But there was a risk of
the marked men still dieing in battle or escaping, so the girls had
to make sure the guys were properly handcuffed or tied up (Wonder
Woman wrapped her lassoo around 20 men with girls' names on them).
AND it was important that the men be punched or kicked down hard, so
they could not escape. The sound of girl kicking or punching boy
filled the courtyard: Punch! kick! Zock! Pow! Whallop! Wham! Slap!
Wham! Aargh! Punch! kick! Zock! Pow! Whallop! Wham! Slap! Wham!
Aargh!

Paris Hilton lept out of her bedroom window along with her
mattress. Crush! It was lucky that those 27 men were there to break
her fall! Meanwhile, more and more swords were being taken off the
men and put in the girls' collection sacks (mostly for later selling).

"Only one minute left" announced Angelina Jolie, who had reserved
the Supreme General for herself. He had her name written on his face,
and she was sitting on him, no, standing on him, too.

The girls continued rushing around, heading toward their chosen
men. Every last woman had now found an "acceptable" male ****,
marked him as hers, tied him up, and given him a good punch or kick
to the face, showing him who's boss! The men were starting to realise
what kind of spell they had been put under - and what sort of life
was in store for them.
Being stuck in one position like that, the men had plenty of time to
appreciate and celebrate all these beautiful girls, especially the
ones who chose you, and they were unable to duck, resist, speak or do
anything meaningful but drool and gaze. These were the women who
these men were going to have to worship and kiss the feet, even the
butt of, every day from here on.

Needless to say, the girls all swung into the midst of the men,
kicking men in the face, unleashing a whole mountain of Girlpower,
Feminine Charms and Flower Power on the men, felling plenty who they
had kicked onto their backs, before landing further blows to the face
or standing on them, using the men to break their fall (if they lept
from the top of the castle), as carpets, as punchbags, as anything
really.
Incredible! An unforgettable sight.

Of the 540, minus 20 who still stood outside, guarding the
other entrance to the castle, minus 39 who had valiantly & heroicly
died in the early volley of spears and arrows = 481 men who had
stormed inside, all but 201 selected slaves-to-be (280) were still
standing and unaccounted for. The men gazed in amazement at the
furious and merciless femmes fatales who had just mowed a bunch of
them over, the poor fools were in ecstacy even though they had been
manhandled. They knew not that there were already slaves in the
castle, and that there was not room for over 300 slaves in there for
very long.

Charlotte Church too had bagged herself a nice one, written her
name all over him, and punched him so hard his lips were bleeding and
he was seeing stars. "And now" she said, "the bewitching beauties
have done us proud" "and will be given even more pay, say and
control" added Angelina. "But their spell is about to expire, so you
girls had better step back and prepare to release the remaining men".

"it's nearly time - ... five seconds ... " added (I Dream Of)
Jeannie, looking slightly worried now, but still very pleased with
herself. The anticipation was so high you could cut it with a
knife ... .

Just then, all the men came back to life. They had been running
when they froze, and so their momentum kept them moving until they
were able to stop. The 201 fallen & claimed men lay everywhere
around, between and among them. Many ninjas stepped onto a claimed
one by mistake.

"reTREAT !!!!" came the shout from not one but lots of men. And
seconds after that, all the
280 remaining men changed direction and started running as fast as
they could back out through the castle entrance, down the cliffside
path where they were reunited with the other twenty, and into the
distance. In fact, some of the girls had not done a very good job of
subduing their men (perhaps because they fancied them so? or were
there some 'light touches' among them, who were no good at tieing men
up?) and so over 300 men (280 + 20 who had waited outside) were seen
running out of and away from the castle, some with the names of girls
written on them, and more and more felled men were regaining their
senses and limping toward the exit (though hundreds were either out
cold, or unable to effectively struggle against the ropes, bras,
panties & things that tied them up).

"Too late for this lot", and for many of the limping tailenders,
as the castle gate came to a close with a big loud THUMP! "You lot
are staying here!" said Atomic Kitten Natasha.

Wonder Woman, Supergirl, the American Gladiators (Ice, Diamond,
Sky, Lace, Blaze & Electra), La Femme Nikita and Sheena Jungle
Princess were appointed to capture and properly restrain all the
loose men that had failed to escape. They were using rodeo ropes and
more of Wonder Womans shiny golden lassoos, which easily caught and
subdued all the men that had made it to their feet. There would be no
escaping for these men now! Ever! They had been girlified, and each
one knew who owned him, and in whose hands their destiny now lie, as
her name and memory were all over them.

"Please let us go after them" appealed Britney Spears, fearing
that her **** was among those who had escaped.

"Yeah, pleeease pleeeeeease pleeease" said the Cheeky Girls to the
queen, realising that they had been too sloppy with the tieing up bit
and were keen to chase after their men.

"Let me have some fun, for old times' sake" said Xena.

"And let me try my new tit weapons out" said Katie Jordan Price.

"And let our witches ensure that we CAN still catch them" said
Colleen and Kate Moss at the same time.

"We were supposed to let half of them escape, to tell the world what
happens to men when they challenge the girls to a fight" said
Angelina Jolie "but seeing as you have asked no nicely, okay. I' let
you play with them a little ... as long as you ensure that a couple
of them do make it out of here .... WITCHES?"

"SAY NO MORE" said the Charmed three, with all the witches assembled
again (Cher, Sabrina, Jeannie, the one form that Xena episode & the
two from Bewitched).

"Serendippedy dipetty do. Dah. Deh. Times Two" chanted all of them
in unison.

This put a new spell on the fleeing men. One that still allowed
them to move, but in slow motion: In the time it took them to walk or
run one step the girls could now do 34. They were moving at
superslowmotion speed, with their senses awake and able to take in
all that the fastmoving girls could do. With this boost, it was not
at all long before a raging party of 80 of the girls was upon the men
(with more chasing it), somehow overwhealmed with urges to hurt and
humiliate the men and to let none of them escape without a good
beating.

At the spearhead of the **** were 15 beautiful supermodel-type
ladies, all dressed revealingly to impress. And with smily, naughty
looks on their faces, they came out of the tunnel gate that had been
guarded earlier on, lightly jogging up to and then beside the
frustratedly slowed men (who's head start eroded away in a matter of
seconds). Some of the girls even managed to leap from the castle
walls, clasping pink spandex ropes, or not, and all were landing on
some of the men, thus leaving the girls without a scratch. Charlotte
Church picked up the microphone again: "A great use for a stray man,
you will find, is to use him to break your fall with! Another great
invention by Super Models Inc". They landed so well on target that it
was now 27 more men down and 273 to go.

Coming down with the pink spandex ropes from the castle walls,
it was Billie Piper, Chantelle, Anna Kournikova, Xuxa, Little miss
Dynamite-ee-hee, Svetlana Vaidisova, the Bionic Woman, Linda
Evangelista, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Lopez and all five girls from
Girls Aloud.

Charlotte Church had a good view of it from her new position,
happily continuing her running commentary that so humilated the men,
while pleasing them through the sound of her voice. It made it all
seem so easy for the girls, who loved the commentary for the praise
it gave them.

"The dance goes like this" said the Charlotte - "as usual, boys,
first the three kicks to the face of three men - thump! - whack! -
zonk! - down they go! Well done you 15 vixens! and then the elegant
catwalk walk, leading to a hard right fist to the face of a fourth -
pow! - "Fantastic, ladies, well done! We give you 9.9 for this. How
many does that make?" Carol Vordermann from Countdown appeared at the
scene: "Well, 15 times four is 60 deducted from 273 is 213". "Oh,
thanks, girl! Now let's see if the next lot of girls can top that:
go femmes!"

"But now, boys" started Shannon Doherty from in the middle of a
pile of fallen men "it is time for your punishment - this is for
wanting to put your hands on us without our consent" -
as she talked the above mentioned girls were punching fallen men in
the face, leaving them KO after 4-6 punches, and Shannen was pointing
to the cliff edge: "you know the new post-feminism laws, they are
quite merciless I'm afraid when it comes to abuses and so this WILL
hurt! - hah hah hah - even though we are only weak little girls". She
punches the nearest still-standing man right fist to his left cheek,
an instant KO" (212) - the nine witches all float down and start to
kick still-standing men hard in the balls. Then as they double over,
a knee to the face takes them down (203).

The Pussycat Dolls, Monica Seles, Katie "Jordan" Price, Kylie
Minogue, Xena Warrior Princess, along with Gabrielle and Collisto,
Maria Sharapova, the Relic Hunter, Chelsea Clinton, Heman's sister
She-ra, Oxana Bajul, Kelly from Married with Children dressed as "the
Verminator", Ginger and Mary-Anne from Gilligan's Island, and, of
course, Catherine Zeta-Jones all came out in front of the men who
were frantically trying to run away as fast as they could, which
under this spell was like honey on a spoon and no match for the
movements of the ladies. To make matters worse, the witches enhanced
the spell, to further slow the men down and to make each punch or
kick that much harder.

"Let's see how many of you can fell a man with one kick?"
Thwack Zonk Pang! Wroque! Pow! "Wow - all of you - well done girls!
Let's sing: Go gi-irls, go gi-irls..! And for the maths,
Carole?" "Well, Charlotte, that's 29 men, all skillfully thumped over
with one kick, taken from 203, which leaves us with a total of 174
men still left to be thumped, zonked, thrashed and beaten down" -
"Thanks, Carole, and may I say your blouse is looking gorgeous today.
so that's 174 toy men left! ... who you may fell in one swing, girls!"

All five spice girls, now had their turn in the spotlight - they
loved showing off, and impressing the men, so Ginger Halliwell,
wearing red leather boxing gloves threw five face punches to fell her
man "174 - lucky him got a taste of ginger, from Geri Halliwell".
Victoria Beckham slapped her chosen man's face, then got out her
bottle of perfume from her back pocket and sprayed - Ow! That was
mace! Then she kicked him in the balls, followed by the face. He was
down, but not dead. Then she pulled a dagger and stabbed him in the
upper chest "Lovely finish, posh, and a beautiful smell too! That's
172 left to slash." commented Charlotte Church.

Sporty Mel C stood with her left bare-foot firm on the ground. With
her right, she kicked a ninja so hard, his lower jaw broke, teeth
went flying, and blood went everywhere. Then came the follow-up kick
(also to the face) THWACK! That determined look and those lashes was
the last thing he saw before he was K.O. "171 left trying to escape"
Scary Spice had her long spiky pole from earlier, "its sharp tip
still has blood on it from earlier and no, surely she won't" Stab!
Deep through his body! Arggggh! "I guess she did mean it ... 170,
oooh, it's kinda like a rocket's count down, isn't it?" Hmm,
grin. "Anyway, let the girls do the talking". Baby Spice impressed
the crowds with a neat arm drag and toss of her man - unfortunately
for him, there was no ground to land on. He fell down the deep cliff
onto the rocky pebble beach a hundred feet below and exploded on
impact like a watermelon. "Looking gorgeous-ssss Baby! ... 169"

Catherine Zeta-Jones drew a thin epee and when she drew back to
stab a ninja, she
accidently knocked a fleeing man out with the handle. "Oops" (168).
She made such a good swing at her victim that her sword went right
through his throat (167) and into the shoulder of another. Feeling
guilty, she quickly stabbed the shoulder-wounded man in the heart, to
end his suffering, and blew him a kiss of **** for sweet
dreams. "She's quite a babe that one! You gotta watch out for her,
boys! 166".

Wonder Woman had caught one with her lassoo and while she was
pulling him towards her with her left hand, she threw her tiara at
another. It landed deep in his skull. He fell. "165". Now that the
other man had been pulled in, she could lift him up over her head and
throw him high up in the air. He flew through the sky, the lassoo
still around his arms and waist and fell down the cliff where the
landing would rip him to pieces like dynamite through
grapes. "That'll teach him! ... 164 left." said Charlotte
Church. "Now let's see if I can take this safety pin out of my
hair ..." - she takes a while, laughs "hm, that was the hard bit. ...
and spit it at one of the seven nearest men." She puts the pin in
her mouth and spits. .... Thoomp! It lands imbedded deep in a man's
forehead. He falls, beaten, over the cliff edge. "Oh well done me! I
rule! Boys Drool! For I am the best! 163 left. Wow, girl!

Britney Spears did not disappoint, as she chose five victims,
extended her long lovely right leg and kicked her victims in the face
THOOMP! Then again THOOMP! Then again THOOMP! Then the second one
THOOMP! Then again THOOMP! ... One by one, all five fell off the
cliff, coming apart on landing, lifeless after that. "Well done,
Britney, I just LOVE how that spell keeps them up longer, get it? 158
succers left to play with"

Dripping wet in their bikinis, along came Jennifer Anniston,
Suzanne Sommers, Joss Stone, and Avril Lavigne - "why so wet,
ladies?"asked Charlotte Church. Each one grabbed a man by the ear and
pulled him into the flowery lagoon with them, where they were then
pulled under and had their face sat on under wayer by these femmes
fatales' rears. A bunch of bubbles came up, as each one perished
right there, within minutes. "Don't these beauts just take your
breath away? 154 men left." she said the word men in such a
contemptful way that the men hated her and her commentary, they were
humilated and dehumanized.

"Believe it or not, men are being felled by gorgeous slender
beauties half their weight, and with very little effort too." Monica
Seles gave out a trademark "uhh" with every kick to the face - seven
men were kicked in the face and pushed off the cliff to their deaths:
"uhh" - "AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh!" - Splat!
"ah - uhh" AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh!" - Splat!
"uhh" AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh!" - Splat!
"uhh" AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh!" - Splat!
"high uhh" AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh!" - Splat!
"uhh" AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh!" - Splat!
"high uhh" AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh!" - Splat!

Xena leapt into the air and went through a row of 22 men with her
swift succession of heavy black booted kicks, felling a man with each
kick and not landing back on the ground until all 22 had been kicked
off the cliff Kick! kick-kick-kick-kick-kick-kick-
AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh-kick-kick-kick-kickAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh
AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh-kick-kickAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh
AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh-kick-kick-kick-kick AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh-
kick ... ... ... ... Kick! AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh!"
"Oooh, Xena, that just felt SOOOOO pleasing, didn't it?" - "o-o-oh
yeah!" "The maths please, darling Carole?" - "I make that 154, minus
seven by Monica Seles, minus 22 by Xena, making 125. Am I right?" -
"Make a note of that, boys! Women are ALWAYS right. By definition."
said Charlotte Church in response.

Maria Sharapova hit two stunned men in the face with a tennis
racket while high kicking two others, also over the cliff edge
AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh!" ... "Superb, Maria - do just
like that at Wimbledon and there will be no match for you. 121";
Chelsea Clinton held a pile of newspapers which she used to whack a
couple of men in the face with in passing and topple them over the
cliff edge Whack! AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa-Thwack! AAAaaaaaaaaaaaa-
Thwack!-AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh!" "With all the grace of a future
president... 118"; Collisto decapitated two with her sword "Slash!
Aargh! Slash! Slash! Slash! Aargh! and then shoved her sword deep
into a third man and let go: Slash! Aaaaaaargh! "115 men left to
zonk, and you're lookin' good, gal! Feisty and ferocious!"

The Verminator squirted four men in one push and so melted their
heads and then turned the whole men into liquid; and Ginger and Mary-
Anne used their legs ever so well! " And then the dismount - go,
get 'em, girls!" They landed on men who caved in underneath them and
provided a comfy landing mattress for the girls - the crushing of
dozens of male ribs upon landing absorbing the blow, and nothing more
than half a hair or a tiny outfit fibre coming to any harm by ANY of
the girls! "Very charming and elegant, ladies! Only 109 ninjamen left
to play with."

Oxana Bajul even had a freshly pulled out and dirty tampon handy to
stuff in the mouth of the man she had written her name on earlier as
a marker and a taste of things to come. A nice high kick to the face
and then he lay there, his mouth open, ready for the "OB" tampon.
"Suck on this, male number 108!"

Kate Moss had an exploding lipstick - she walked past in front of a
man, grabbed his balls and squeezed with one hand, then shoved it
into his underpants with the other, then stepped away, turned,
smiled, kissed the air and waved him goodbye. .... BOOOM! He blew up,
and so did the men to the left and to the right of him, coming down
in a hundred pieces of man falling from the sky. "That was a
perfect 10! "said Nicole Kidman "At least!" added one of the charmed
ones.

"With now all but 105 of them swept completely off their feet by
our feminine charms." - "You said it. It's our feminine charms they
can't seem to handle". Xena's chakram went right into a poor male's
head. He fell off the cliff, chakram embedded in his head, to his
****. "Make that 104, hugh-hugh (giggle)" added Charlotte Church.

A hugely obese Jade Goody appeared out of nowhere, facing away
from her targets. She grabbed a man with each hand and shoved them
deep into her ass. Then she tightened a belt behind their heads,
pulling them in even closer to her butt cheeks. Then she let herself
drop backwards. "Squish!" - for Jade it was a soft and cozy landing,
as two male faces took the full brunt of the fall. But the two male
unfortunates died under the sudden weight impact, their whole heads
flattened to mush! ...102 left.

Among the now over 150 bloodthirty ladies who came rushing
out to fell the escaping men were Abi Titmuss (who pushed a man off
the cliff with her breasts, "Bye bye! 101"), Claudia Schiffer (who
kicked one over the cliff with a forehead push kick of her painted
red toes, 100), Lisa Scott-Lee (who made two men fall to their deaths
just by swinging her hair into their faces, 98), Colleen Rooney, who
knew how to punch a man over the edge ("he'll never upset her again,
97"), Myleene Klass (a face punch causing a plunge to his ****, 96),
Jennifer Ellison (a groin kick, then a single finger tip tap over the
cliffedge, 95), Celine Dione (who just french kissed a bloke and then
as she let go gave him a light push - he plunged to his ****, 94),
Gloria Estefan (who had brough with her a gun, held it to the lower
jaw of a man facing upward and fired, 93), Barbie (a jumping face
kick over the cliff, "Bye bye Ken, 92"), Martina Hingis and Francine
from ECW (both of whom use a hand testicle crush to take their men's
manhood out, they drop to the ground, demasculized - 90), Tiffany
Amber Thiessen (a cheeky head butt sends a man over the cliff edge,
88),

Pamela Anderson (one by a pistol, one by a high kick and two by a
breast push over the edge, ... "84 - you ARE entitled to more"), then
there was Penelope Cruz, Demi Moore, The Olsen Twins, and Catwoman
Michelle Pfeiffer, all five of whom do a sequence of groin kicks,
then a knee to the face, then groin kicks again, then a face punch,
over the edge, "that'll teach them! 79!").

The Baise-Moi deadly duo, who shoot one in the balls, the leg and
then the head, and then kick, stomp and trample another to **** ("au
revoir, pigs! 77 left").

Supergirl Helen Slater in the red and blue supergirl outfit punches a
man so hard he goes flying over the cliff edge which he was nowhere
near before the punch, 76), and who also rugby tackles four men with
womens names written all over them, and ties them up tightly, for
later. .. 72

La Femme Nikita; Mila Jovonich, and Fariah, each of whom have a big
shiny black bazuka that blows their targets to pieces and over the
cliff edge: Kahpowwww!!!! ... 69.

Monica Lewinsky has a cigar, which she sticks in some geezer's
mouth. Boom! "It was a bomb - 68 - happy birthday, Mr President!".

Lorena Bobbit has a knife and you know what she's going to do with
that.
She slices the penis in half and then cuts the whole genitals & balls
off of seven fallen (shot) dead men, her pants are dripping wet from
multiple orgasms - "good luck to whoever her **** will be!"

Elle Mc Pherson, Drew Barrymore, and Sophie Ellis Bextor do a very
elegant three-at-once kick to one lucky man's face over the
cliffedge. Aaaaaaaaaaarghhh! ... 68.

"What a shame there are so few men left now" says Charlotte
Church "just as the girls were beginning to have fun and really kick
ass!"

"That's no problem for me" said I Dream Of Jeannie, who folded her
arms, blinked hard, there was a BOI-I-ING sound. Suddenly the number
of men had doubled and there was 136 left to pummel. "Hey thanks,
Jeannie, you are a life saver".

Sheena Jungle Princess lept onto one from above and put him in a
deadly slow & lethal sleeper hold, with his face trapped up against
her tits. ... 135 when he breathes his last breath "what a
breathtaking beauty she is, right boys?".

All five spice girls performed astonishing face kicks to men that
sent them falling over the edge to land on a pile of exploded
men ...., all in their best performing outfits, make-up, pezzazz,
determination, hair, features, curves, the lot! "Go Girlpower! ...
130 left.

Billie Piper and Chantelle accidentally bumped into one another
and into two men, over the cliff edge. All four were hurtling to
their deaths when the Charmed ones intervened and magically levitated
the two women back to safety. "Hey thanks a million, girls, you
really are life-savers! For that you deserve a treat." ... splat!
splat! (128 now) They pushed a hapless man toward them, and the
Charmed three started using their magic to pull him in three
directions at once by his arms and penis until Ker-SPLAT! He exploded
into a thousand pieces from being yanked to **** by these happy
playtime ladies (127).

Anna Kournikova spinkicked a man over and then put him into a deadly
scissor leglock between her legs. She slowly pushed her strong legs
together until he was no more (126).

Xuxa and Little Miss Dynamite-ee-hee simply power-punched men in the
face - and over the edge - bye bye,
boys .... "HaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrggghhh - Splat!" "I told you
boys, you gotta watch out for these babes! 124 left".

Svetlana Vaidisova did the same with a high leg kick to the chin -
Zonk! Ooooh
HaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrggghhh ... - Splat!" 123.

The Bionic Woman grabed a man, lifted him in the air and broke his
back in half over her knee - CRUNCH! 122.

Maria Sharapova, all four **** Housewives, Candice Bergen the
elder blonde daughter from Family Matters, Heather from Alf & from Mr
Belvedere, Emma, Linda Evangelista, Sophie Ellis Bextor, Jennifer
Lopez, AND all five girls from Girls Aloud all stood in a neat line
in front of the frontmost men (who had been the nearest to escaping).
Each had a little white bow & arrow pointing at the male chests, the
targets. "Now observe how elegantly they release the arrow ..."
Swoosh! ... Swoosh! Swoosh-swoosh-swoosh - then a moment for them to
travel through the air toward the doomed men ... and then all the
arrows land in the mens chests, felling them Thwock! Thwock! Thwock!-
Thwock!-Thwock!-Thwock!-Thwock! ... Thwock! Aaaaarrgghh! 49 men in
all get shot in this way as the ladies unleash volley after volley of
**** on the men. ... "73 men left now - the poor fools think they
can really ESCAPE US?"

Alicia Silverstone headbutt one "very impressive and surprising ...
72 left" comments Charlotte Church. Then she does the same again
Thump! Aaaaaaaarrgh! And again. Thump! AAAAAAaaaaaaarrgh! ...
Splat! "Only 70 toys left to dispose of".

Jennifer Lopez perfoms a J-Lo-kick to the adams apple, which send
one over the edge
AAAAAAaaaaaaarrgh! ... Splat! Then she follows up with a handfull of
hair, pulling a man down toward her shapely rear, which then bashes
into his face, sending him over the edge
AAAAAAaaaaaaarrgh! ... Splat! "What glamour she has there! 70 vermin
left!"

Christina Aguilera uses a trampoline to leap onto two who men whose
chests are crushed under the impact of her landing from so high up.
Huuuuugh! 68

"It's Monica Lewinsky again - with another cigar, a pussyflavoured,
freshly dipped one? Is it an exploding cigar?" Boom! "Yup" (67).
Supergirl helped capture the remaining strays with names on them,
face punches where dished out generously, as men went flying onto
their backs Dsh! dsh! dsh! Huh-ugh! (60 left).

Katie "Jordan" Price has a man's head between her tits, her bra
pushing him closer into her cleavage. Then her hands go to the outer
tit sides, and press them together ... Squish! "He never stood a
chance against these two deadly terminatitties! Only 59 vermins left,
kind of few and over a hundred girls who still want to play, and we
have such good momentum going here, and it's so much fun! It's a
shame there's so few of them left, isn't it?" said Charlotte

"Say no more" replied Jeannie obligingly, with her arms folded,
pressing her eyes shut - BOING! Jeannie again folded her arms hard
and BLINKED - suddenly there were 289 men trying pathetically in
ultra-slow-motion to run away.

More and more girls kept rushing out into the army of men,
selectively: The Pussycat Dolls (with handgranades ... KABOOM! 284
MEN REMAIN), all three partneresses plus the villainess from
Cleopatra 2525 (kicks to the face over the cliffedge .... 279 left),
then a hail of laser gunfire by the same buxom vixens. 17 men fall
instantly shot in the head by a warm red-velvet girly raygun. "262
now - these really are 'WOMEN WITH A WILL TO SURVIVE'"

"So 289 remaining becomes 262. Our spell has worked." said Shannen
Doherty. "Now step right up, girls, have some fun, teach them a
lesson about girl power they won't soon forget." "Let's see what you
can do. - And let me do the countdown." replied Charlotte.

The refined English lady from Jack of all Trades punxches one in
the face .. then pushes a second one over the edge just with her
fingertips on his forehead .. 260.

The girl from X files Scully with a gun Bang bang! two fall, 258.
The curly Greek and the blackhaired Floridian babes from CSI - high
kicks to the face - "high yah" and over the cliffedge - 256 men left
to decimate.

Melinda Messenger, Liz Hurley, and the 2x Atomic Kittens; and
Merryl Streep all five have two empty gucci handbags each - they
shove one down a victims underpants, then whack him in the face with
the other, then push it down over their heads, then push them off the
cliff. AAAAaaaaarrrgghhhhh !s .... Splat!s "Wow babes, you got
style, and you got grace! That leaves 251 of the blighters!"

Crouching Dragon Hidden Tiger Girl does a freeze-frame jump.
Floating in the air like that gives her enough time to kick two men a
total of 17 times each before she lands again (one foot on each
beaten male ... 249.

Resident Evil HeroGirl Mila Jovonich has that gun from the film,
with which she obliterates 14 hapless ninjas. ... 235.

Mary-Sue from the Beverley Hillbillies shows us she can punch with
both hands at once;
AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaarrrrgh! Splat! Two men bite the dust. Then a proud
victory bounce in her step takes her to her third victim ... and her
favourite, a right hook POW! Err-aaaarrrrgh! Splat! ... 232.

The kicking & punching female ActionGirl from the DisneyWorld
Indiana Jones Stuntshow punches two in the face and kicks three,
sending all five, one by one, plunging to their ****. "Ah! How
sweet! They died FOR HER! 227 left to go".

Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore, plus the original
Charlie's Angels ran into action. They stopped to do the tradidional
three-girl pose, but as six, then Cynthia Rothrock, never one to miss
out on a fight, and Demi Moore, also joined in. Then they started
high-kicking men to the cheeks, and over the edge "High -
yah" "Ooompf - AAAAAAaaaaaargh!" Splat! "High - yah" "Ooompf -
AAAAAAaaaaaargh!" Splat! "High - yah" "Ooompf - AAAAAAaaaaaargh!"
Splat! "High - yah" "Ooompf - AAAAAAaaaaaargh!" Splat! "High -
yah" "Ooompf - AAAAAAaaaaaargh!" Splat! "High - yah" "Ooompf -
AAAAAAaaaaaargh!" Splat!

Confused, Charlotte Church turned to Carole Vorderman from
Countdown again: "Well, six times six beaten goonies, along with a
few extra, taken from a hoard of 227 angry ninjas, leaves 189 more
ninjas to decimate!" - "Right, I knew that. I was of course just
testing. ... You believe me, right?" she went up to a man who could
do very little in slow motion "No? - Well over the edge you go
then!" "High - yah" "Ooompf - AAAAAAaaaaaargh!" Splat! "Honestly, you
just can't get any decent men these days! ... 188"

Billie Piper, Chantelle, Anna Kournikova, Claudia Shiffer,
Colleen Rooney and Xuxa did what blondes often like to do: they took
their old black highheel shoes off, hand-held kicked the men in the
balls with one, then shoved it down their pants; hand-held kicked
them in the face with the other, and stuffed it down their tops, then
revealed their shopping bags containing boxes of new shoes. "You do
approve of these, don't you?" asked Anna. Unable to reply quickly
enough in slowmotion, the girls swung their shopping bags at the mens
faces, and so sent them over the edge. Whack! Whack! Whack!
AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggh! Splat splat-splat-splat.
Splat! "See? What is it with blondes and their shopping, eh? ... 182
left."

Sophie Ellis Bextor held four lit ciggies, each on an elegant
black pointy plastic mouthpiece. She disguarded her ashes: in one
mans face, then another, then down his pants too, then pushed one out
in a third man's face "He's extinguished". Then she approached one's
face from two directions and extinguished both in his face at the
same time, then she threw the 4th one, still lit, into his
underpants. The first two breathes a sight of relief. Too early. For
she returned, and grabbed two pairs of balls at once with her two
hands and squeezed. She squeezed and squeezed, until they burst, then
pushed them over the edge
AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggh! Splat Then she grabbed
the other two mens balls, one of which was now mingling with ash, the
other with a burning cigarette - all was reduced to mush! Then the
dreaded light fingertip tap of the forehead:
AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggh! Splat! "Hey, there's a
girl with grace, elegance, AND not to be messed with! 178 left."

"Now you vampires had better watch out! It's Buffy The Vampire
Slayer time!" Kristy Swanson from the movie; Sarah Michelle Gellar
and the adorable assistant who was also in American Pie all sprang
into action. All three kicked a man in the face, sending them over
the edge Thwack! AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggh! Splat!
Then all three got two wooden steaks each out and Herrrrrr! Right
into the heart. Now the other Derrrrrrr! "Nine down, 169 to go"
revealed a satisfied Charlotte Church - happy that she had kept count
so well.

May-Jay Blithe; Sheena Easton; Shilpa Shetty; and Stefanie Seymour
all revealed that they had a talent for gutpunches, followed up with
a kick to the face, over the edge: High-yah!
AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggh! Splat! "Hey. go girls!
Especially you, Shilpa Poppadum!" This remark by Charlotte Church
made her so angry that another man had to go over the edge with a
killer upper cut to the jaw Wham!
AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggh! Splat! 164 men left.

"Now I proudly present: The DirtyDancing girl (as she called each
girls name out, they all kicked a man in the balls); the All I-
Wanna_do_is-Have Some Fun girl Cherryl Crow High-yah!; Sharon Stone
Pam!; Sandra Bullock Zock!; both girls from tatu Whack!; Nigella
Lawson Ooof!; Carol Vorderman Zonk!; Jenny Garth High-knee!; Rachel
Hunter Fist-tothe-Balls; plenty of bond girls whack! pow! zonk!
gore!; the babe from Dawsons Creek Thump!
and the Chanel No 5, Lancome, Givenchy & Hermes perfume girls!
Ow! ... Are all now going to kiss a man (they do - it's the one they
have kicked) - knee him in the groin Oof! And push him over the
edge!" Aaaa - Aaaaa - Aaaaa - Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggh!!! Splat!
Splat-splat - splat! "Well done girls, that was a sky high
performance ... and by the looks of things: they REALLY FELL FOR
YOU!" 137 left to go.

The girls from tatu fell upon one another in a passionate snog, the
longhaired one landed on top of the other and a hapless man, who soon
found that he had an ass in his face, and the combined weight of the
two girls making love on top of him, combined with the ass in his
face would prove to be his demise ... 136.

"Lorena Bobbit is given the chance to make a stab at it, but
where's her knife gone? Oh, she's left it in this man's poor broken
heart. Go on, girl take it out, see if it makes him whole again" she
takes it out and the man collpses "guess not, now show us what you've
learned."
She slashes a ninja's throat. "Very well done. Top marks to you.
You've come a long way! 134 left.

Raquel Welsh and Jane Fonda discover the pleasure of taking as man
down from long range - with pin pint precision, their shots to the
forehead take 2 down. 132.

Ice, Diamond, Sky, Electra, Blaze & Lace, the American Gladiators
see that some men are trying to climb up a rock wall to escape -
"This always was my favourite game" They chase after them, and pull
all nine men off the wall, and send them tumbling down the cliff to
their deaths. "There's no escaping ... We've got you now ...
Hiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaarrrghhhh! Splat! 123 left.

Martine Mc Cutcheon; the curvy-large Kate Winslet; Muriels
Wedding; Dani Minogue, the tiny Cheeky Girls, and Kylie Minogue all
find ways of attaching a mans head to her butt with a belt and
fastening it tight. All the men see now is female ass. When they sit
down on them, the slow suffocating begins ... "Oooh, you are such a
tease - you know how to taunt them, Kylie! The men are motionless at
first, as the girls readjust to ensure they are sitting full-weight
on his whole face. "Now kiss these, boys!" They kiss and kiss and
kiss ass, but it does them no good, as their arms start to flap and
then they fade, beaten. "Yes, you kiss some ass, boys, it's all
you're good for! 116".

When they are done with the boys, they leave them lying there, and
walk past some some men, who are mostly looking at their butts and
stunned! Each girl chooses one man to bum tap nudge over the edge of
the cliff. Nudge! AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrghh! Splat! "You see, boys,
they are to die for!" giggle a chirpy Charlotte.

Xena Warrior Princess hangs from a tree branch and lets one run
at her - she catches him between her legs, his face against her
crotch, and then her legs close. He is crushed like toothpaste
between her legs (115). While is hanging high, she cannot resist also
kicking a few over the cliffedge (114, 113 & 112).

Gabrielle prefers to push them over the edge with a mop to the face
Slop! Push AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Slop! Push AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Slop!
Push AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Slop! Push AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Slop! Push
AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Slop! Push AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! (106) "Kind of a
handy beat, that" remarks Atomic Kitten Natasha while she is
suffocating a man she is sitting on, her ass all over in his face
(105).

Maria Sharapova has a Kalashnikov! And so do Mariah Carey, Trinny
and Susannah, Miss Creamer the golfer babe, Daniela Hantuchova and
Prince Beatice. BANG! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! BANG! ... (a
short silence to watch them die and select some more targets to pump
full of girly lead) ... BANG! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! BANG!
Errrr!
Men fall dead everywhere (only 42 left now).

The Relic Hunter goes through a line up of men along the cliff
edge with some hard clinched fist punches with fury! ... and each one
means it! .... Pow! AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Splat! Zonk! Pow!
AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Splat! Zonk! Pow! AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Splat! Zonk!
Pow! AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Splat! Zonk! Pow! AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Splat!
Zonk! Pow! AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Splat! Zonk! Pow! AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh!
Splat! Zonk! AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! Splat (31 left).

Chelsea Clinton has another seven New York Timeses, which she uses
to splat in men's faces, this time not sending them over the
cliffedge as they stand nowhere near it, mostly it is men with names
written on them that she gets and fells Slap! Plonk! - Slap! Plonk! -
Slap! Plonk! - Slap! Plonk! -Slap! Plonk! -Slap! Plonk! - Slap!
Plonk! Then she pulls out the top ones from a huge pile of 400 more
of her favourite newspapers and starts to put them all into the newly
felled captives' faces, chest areas & underpants - Crunch! crumple!
Slosh! - These guys won't be running away now! ... 24 left. She then
lifts one arms high and starts waving it. The lorry carrying all the
newspapers stats reversing, flattening a man under its wheels as it
does (23!). It then lifts the front end of its base slowly up lika a
drawbridge. Before long, gravity sets in, and the eyes of the 14 men
who are about to be crushed under neath get really big. "And this
just in. ... Do you feel the weight of the wisdom you can get from
these, boys?" asks Chelsea just as the landslide happens KER - THONK!
All that is left of the 14 men now is a few feet sticking out from
the side of the pile of newspapers. Chelsea and dozens of girls climb
on top of the heap and start reading newspapers. They do not mind not
knowing how damaged the 14 men were, and get quite comfortable
really. "See, they should have been more well read, and not tried to
cram read it all at once - 13 left".

Oxana Bajul has pulled two dirty tampons out of her slit - she
rubs them all over two mens faces and then shoves them in the two
mens mouthes; then with only her fingertips, she pushes both men over
the cliffedge. "This is for making US have all the periods!" tap!
AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! 12.

Pipi Longstockings does 1 in with a facepunch, and another by
lifting the petrified fool up over her head and throwing him over the
cliffedge AaAAAaaaaarrgghhh! 10. All the girls were feeling proud of
themselves, and very aroused at this stage.

Darryl Hannah; Kim Basinger; singer Cherryl Crow; and Kelly from
Married with Children are now all dressed as "the Verminator"
superheroes in spandex, armed with guns that make men melt into ooze -
they go ballistic! Bang! Bang you're dead! Bang! Bang you're dead!
Bang! Bang you're dead! Bang! Bang you're dead! Bang! Bang you're
dead! And Bang! Bang you're dead too! Only 2 men left.

Martine McCutcheon stands in front of one of th