The New Gospel of John - Women Will Seduce John Back to the Flock

“Tempering is a term used in cooking when an ingredient—or two—needs to be stabilized, meaning its characteristics remain the same and aren't altered in any way. We see this technique used when combining ingredients that are each at completely different temperatures. In the kitchen, for instance, when a hot liquid like soup or stock is mixed directly with a cold item like cream or sour cream or eggs, the cold product will tend to curdle as the soup's heat coagulates the proteins in the dairy. Tempering is used to avoid this from happening.” 1.

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I have no idea why I remembered this suddenly while I started to write. My first instinct was to write, “Thou shalt give your eldest son a blowjob and let him ass fuck thee,” but I didn’t want to crash the system. I would test these religious laws out sensibly. They had to make sense somehow, at least spiritual sense. There are many laws in the bible that seemed **** to some that they would not follow whether they were set in stone, for example, stoning adulterous women. I can’t go too far with these. At the same time, kissing didn’t seem all too big a deal to mom, but in many foreign cultures, they can see intimacy and kissing mouth to mouth much more casual than other cultures which value personal space. Part of me wondered if I put in “thou shalt assfuck so and so”, it would just be altogether ignored.

The second part of me wanted to be greedy. I didn’t want to see my mom French Kiss other people. Well, maybe my sister was okay. But my neighbors or our pastor? I had to figure out a way to both temper the new religious laws into doctrine and maximize my own gain from it.

There was one thing that separated me from everyone else in this town. That made me special. I was non-religious. Everyone from top to bottom was a religious fanatic. The people that weren’t, either moved cause it was so boring here or were cast out and ostracized.

With a pen on a blank page of the pristine paper of the ancient book, I started to write the first commandments of the New Gospel of John:

“Adult children of ye faithful might not but be made to see the light. Members of the fairer sex of ye faith might not but use their corporal agents and help enchant these lost sheep back to the flock with temptations of carnal delights.”

I checked one of my other copies of the book of SLD and lo and behold the law was there. I smiled and closed both books. I placed a pen in my pocket and held the Ancient Holy Book by my side. From now on, it would stay there, and I would be a religious man, indeed. But to everyone else, I would make sure I looked like a lost sheep who needed some "carnal delights" to help see the light.

1. https://www.thespruceeats.com/what-is-tempering-1137207