The Lutz Family

Present day:

The house was a bargain, or so thought Albert Lutz when he purchased the place for a mere fifteen thousand dollars. He didn't know why it was so cheap, and didn't really care. It was perfect for him, his plans for a man cave, his wife Sarah, and his eighteen year old daughter Brittany. They all liked the house for various reasons. It had a certain Dutch Colonial charm to it, and all of the Klutzes loved and appreciated it.

Albert himself was an architect, and he had many ideas he wanted to try out in the restoration of the old house. Besides, who wouldn't want to live on Long Island? The Lutzes could definitely have fun there.

Albert daydreamed about where he would put his sixty inch wide screen smart TV as he drove along over the Throgs Neck Bridge. Maybe the boathouse would be a good spot? Nah, not really, he thought. There was plenty of time to decide once the family got there, and started unpacking.

The Lutz women, Sarah and Brittany, followed close behind in the family car, a dark green Volvo wagon. (Author's note: This is in no way meant to be a plug for U Haul trucks or Volvo wagons. The author has never rented a U Haul truck or owned a Volvo wagon in his entire life. Any similarities either real or fictional are strictly coincidental. Now back to our story...). Sarah drove along at a marginal distance behind Albert, while Brittany was lost, listening to the latest hip hop tunes on her iPhone. (Author's note: This is not a plug for iPhones or hip hop music. No other phones, or other kinds of music have been dissed in the writing of this paragraph. Once again, back to our story...).

Sarah looked over at her eighteen year old daughter. She was so proud of her! She had her father's deep blue eyes, lovely pouting lips, a cute little turned up nose, auburn hair, just like hers, and the body of a total knockout to go with all of her other features. Sarah herself was one very hot looking MILF, to be sure. People often mistook her and Brittany for twins, which flattered Sarah to no end.

Sarah looked around Albert's U Haul, and spotted the Island. She gently nudged Brittany. "Hey, it won't be long now until we get to our new home. Are you excited?"

Brittany took out her ear buds. "You bet I am! It's the nicest house I've ever seen. And it's completely furnished? All any of us have to do is put away clothes, find places for our electronics, and other odds and ends. It's perfect!"

"You're just saying that because you don't like to help your dad move furniture" teased Sarah.

"Mom! That isn't true. I don't mind helping daddy, or you for that matter."

"I know. I'm pulling your leg sweetheart."

As you would imagine, the family crossed the bridge and headed for their new house at one oh eight Ocean Avenue in a little place called Amityville. This is where their really story begins.

Four Score, or Several Years Ago:

Of course the real story began years ago when the Finster family lived in that ill fated house. Now Harvey Finster was a shoe polish remover salesman originally from Boise, Idaho. He had brought his entire family back east to Amityville to bring the wonders of Jackson's Shoe Polish Remover to the east coast. Out west it was a big hit, and Harvey had made his life's fortune. He was one of the best salesmen Jackson had. So the company asked him to sell their product back east. They gave him money for moving expenses, as well as a huge bonus, which he used to buy the old Dutch Colonial house after the Jackson Company had secured it for the family.

It was perfect for the Finsters with five bedrooms and three bathrooms. Harvey's wife Grizelda was the first to sign up for the big move east, and of course the four Finster kids followed, willingly or unwillingly as the case may be. There was Larry, Laurie, Darrell, and Daryl. Daryl was the fraternal twin of Darrell. Darrell was a strapping young man while Daryl was a cute young girl.

The Finster children ranged in age from eighteen through twenty, with Darrell and Daryl being the youngest at eighteen. Laurie was nineteen, and Larry was twenty.

To make a long story a little shorter, the Finsters moved into the house, never knowing what took place on the property the house was built upon. At one time the land the house sits on belonged to the Mohegan Montauk tribe. The Mohegans were not especially savage Indians, yet the Dutch despised them for their lack of clothing. The Dutch were absolutely stunned and appalled by the lewd behavior the Indian tribe displayed. Meanwhile to the East side of Long Island, the Puritan English calmly accepted their ways as just being how Indians preferred to dress and live. After all, the Puritans had escaped to the New World to avoid persecution themselves. So why should they persecute others?

But the Dutch were a different story. The Dutch settlers tried everything to make the Mohegans conform to wearing clothing, but they could not be persuaded. Finally it was decided by the Dutch leader, John Underhill, an accused witch who fled from Salem, that the Mohegans must be forcibly removed from their land in the name of common decency. When the last Mohegan, Chief Uncas, was removed from the land, he cursed it, and the Dutch. "I spit on you!" Uncas proclaimed to Underhill. "Your women will never wear clothes on this land again! The Great Ancestors will see to it!"

Underhill just laughed at the old Chief, and disregarded everything he had said. The curse lay dormant for many years after, until the arrival of the Finster family... But that is another story for another time.

Fast forward, and here we are, back with the Lutz family, getting ready to unload their belongings, and finally claim their dream house. Let's let them get settled in before the first pair of panties strangely disappears...