The 'health services' angle

"I'm from the public health and safety department. Names Lawrence." You introduced yourself as your fake alias.

"Jane Culver. Nice to meet you. May I know what this is about?" She shook your hand, completely buying your story.

"It is actually a very important thing I need to discuss with both you and your husband. Is he in?"

"Yes, he is. Please come in." She leaves the door open for you to enter.

Once you were inside, she led you through the entrance hallway into the living room where her husband, Dan, was sitting and watching TV. He seemed a little surprised to be having guests, immediately turning off the TV to stand. You introduce yourself to him and the three of you sit down on the couch to discuss things. Mrs Culver went off to make tea, and you went through some small talk with Dan while waiting for her to return. Once she was there, she sat down next to her husband, and all was in place for the 'serious talk' scene you had in your head.

"Mr and Mrs Culver, I'm afraid to be the bearer of bad news. It appears that the health and safety board has concerns to the sexual health of Mrs Culver, believing that she might be in danger of complete infertility." You spoke in your best professional tone.

"Oh no..." Dan gave me a face before turning to his wife, who had placed her hand on her lips in a lady's gasping motion.

"Don't worry though. In the interest of your health and the betterment of your quality of life, I have been sent here to help."

"Well, if that's the case, we're glad to have to here. How can you help?" Mrs Culver asked.

"The process is simple. I must regularly assess your body's ability to have sex personally, without interference from anyone or anything, which includes you, Dan. Your wife's health is very important and we both know that we know what is best for her." You feel the twitch of your cock when you made the statement, "If I find any discrepancies, I am medically trained to dispense the appropriate medicine for Mrs Culver, in due process."

"I see. That's good to know you can help." Dan relaxed after hearing your bullshittery. The couple seemed relieved, completely oblivious to your plan while under the influence of the Motherboard, "We're lucky to have you here with us, Lawrence."