Tension between siblings.

The last few nights had been dreamless, or at least I couldn’t remember having any dreams when I woke up. That Wednesday morning, however, I had vague memories of dreaming about… certain people.

I sat at the edge of my bed, rubbing my eyes and shaking my head, frustrated.

In my dream, I had seen Mila, Grace and Sarah. They’d been naked and close to me. That wasn’t a big surprise, all things considered. The surprise (and the eeriness) was that I remembered seeing my sister and my mother as well.

I shuddered. I’d seen Isabelle’s naked body in front of me, and I remembered the foreign feeling of wanting to reach out. I’d seen mom sitting naked on the living room couch, grinning seductively at me.

Maybe having sex was messing with my hormones or something. I didn’t know. I’m no scientist and biology isn’t my best subject. But dreaming of my sister and my mom couldn’t be normal, right?

Perhaps more surprising, though, was that I had dreamt of two girls I didn’t see much. Alice, the student council president, and Noelle, the secretary. They were both gorgeous girls as well, certainly enough for me to fantasize about every once in a while, but I didn’t talk to them enough for me to dream about them.

…I wanted to have sex.

I found myself wishing any or all of my three new… sex friends were there with me. I wanted to touch them, kiss them and hear them moan. My heart was pounding at the prospect of getting to do something with them today.

I took a shower, put on my uniform and went down to the kitchen. All without incident, thankfully. Mom was already there, in her work suit plus an apron as she made breakfast.

Mom, Isabelle and I ate together and left the house. Mom went to work in her car while my sister and I walked to school. We walked next to each other, silent and awkward. She kept glancing at me, her lips parting to speak before she stopped herself. After that happened like three times, she finally spoke.

“Hey. When did you get so fit?” she asked with something of an accusative tone.

It almost irked me. It sounded like she thought I had no right to be fit. It would’ve bothered me more if I had gotten this body with my own hard work, but that wasn’t what happened.

“…I worked out in my room during summer.” The lie came out smoothly enough, surprisingly. I HAD spent most of summer in my room, and with Isabelle barely ever going in there, she had no way to know I was lying.

She raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You would’ve laughed at me.”

She winced, knowing that was true. She would’ve laughed and said I wouldn’t last a week. To be fair, she would’ve been right. Maybe. There was a chance I’d have stuck with it only to prove her wrong.

“And how’s it going with those three troublemakers?”

I almost started something over her way of referring to them, but I abstained. Not worth it. “They like having me around. I like being with them.”

“You know they’re just playing with you, right? They’re probably interested now that you look… better, but I wouldn’t be getting any ideas if I were you. You’ll only get heartbroken.”

I snapped. I grit my teeth and shut my eyes to hold myself back, but the tone in which I spoke to her was low and ice cold.

“So I’m that unlikable? Am I such trash that there is no way anyone could ever be interested in me? For whatever reason?” I shot my sister a side glare, and it felt awful. But that wasn’t the first time she said something similar.

She flinched and took a step back. “W-Wha…?”

“I have no idea why they suddenly took an interest in me, Isabelle, but it beats being alone. You go have fun with your friends and leave me be.”

I walked ahead of her. One foot in front of the other without looking back. I didn’t hear her complain, and by the time I reached the school gates, she wasn’t even behind me anymore. I think I walked even faster than I intended.

With a low grunt, I went into the main building. I was still feeling upset and I didn’t want anyone to see me like that, so with 30 minutes left until class started, I naturally went to hide in the old music room.

I stood looking out the window, towards the empty yard. I clicked my tongue as I replayed the event in my head. I snapped at Isabelle, but I could hardly blame her for saying what she did. It was true. I’d thought of it myself, and would still believe it if I didn’t have that sense that the girls genuinely liked me, if at least for the sex. Nevertheless, I didn’t fully regret what I said either. It was easy for her to say whatever she wanted, from a position of having friends, a boyfriend and no issues talking to anyone and everyone.

I wanted to change. I had to change. I would change. I didn’t need to become a social butterfly, but I couldn’t continue being scared of interacting with others. Being with Sarah, Grace and Mila was helping, so even if I did end up heartbroken, I had to give it a try.

I just… wanted to make it last for as long as it could.