Tell Alicia

Staring off into space for a while you eventually speak, "we shouldn't have done it."

Jessica shakes her head, "no, we shouldn't have."

More silence follows and the sun is shining in through the window before you do anything else, "guess we should head over to her place and apologize."

"She isn't going to recognize us," Jessica comments.

You frown, "I suppose not. We'll just have to think of something on our way there."

The drive over is much shorter than you would have liked and you both drag your feet as you approach her door. Neither of you have any idea what you will say but you knock any way. There is no response. Again, you knock but there is still no answer. Exchanging a worried glance with Jessica, you try a third time and again receive no answer. With a heavy sigh you pull out your phone and try calling her. Maybe you should have done that first but you wanted to tell her in person. It does not mater though as there is no answer on the phone and no option to leave a voice mail.

"What happened?" you ask not really expecting a response.

Jessica shrugs her shoulders and you send a text message. Not like you can do much else.

For the next week you try calling and texting Alicia every day. Sometimes several times a day but never hear back from her. At the end of the week both you go to her place one more time and sigh with relief when you notice the door open but it is short lived. A girl enters the apartment carrying a large box but she is not Alicia.

"Hello," you call out to her.

She turns and smiles, "yes?"

"We're looking for Alicia," you ask stepping up to the door.

"Don't know who that is," she replies setting her box down next to a stack of others.

"She lives here," says Jessica studding the moving boxes.

"Oh, she moved out earlier this week," she replies cheerfully.

Stunned you take a step back, "moved out?"

"Ya, she moved out in a hurry from what I understand. Worked out well for me. Managed to get signed up on the lease just yesterday," she walks past you getting more boxes.

"Do you know where she went?" Jessica asks with a bit of urgency in her voice.

"Not a clue. Never even saw her," she says still bringing stuff in.

"Any idea who might know?" you ask with the same urgency.

She sets her things down and turns to look at you, her expression slightly sad, "look I just started moving in today. I have no more answers for you, told you all I know. If it's that important though I do hope you reach her but I can't help."

You bow your head, "sorry, thank you for your time."

Back in the car you try calling Alicia once more and once more there is no answer.

"What do we do now?" asks Jessica as you hang up the phone.

You shrug your shoulders this time without having an answer.

She never does get back to you and the next few months are tenuous. Every night when you sleep, you are not sure if you will be a boy or a girl in the morning. Why would she keep the twins when she finds out after all? It was not like abortion would not be an option if she really wanted but nothing changes. After six months Jessica and you are still proper genders and confident by that point that where ever Alicia is, she has decided to keep the twins. In fact, when you think about it you wonder if she even knows she has twins or how she plans to raise them or if she will put them up for adoption or if her life is now ruined? Many questions but there is no way to tell. That is until a year later.

While hanging out under the shade of a tree with Jessica, the phone rings on that lazy afternoon. Picking up the phone, you stare blankly at the name on the call ID. Alicia? Who is that? You bolt upright startling Jessica when you remember.

"It's Alicia!" you yell and answer the phone.

Jessica jumps up as well upon hearing the name and huddles next to you and answers the phone with you, "Hello!"

"Hi...." comes the tentative voice of Alicia. "Is this Tina and Jessie?"

Exchanging glances with a small frown you pause before answering, "yes."

"What happened? You just disappeared." asks Jessica leaning in making sure she can be heard.

"I...I'm sorry. I panicked when you called, didn't know how to answer and then someone recognized me as the first girl at the party to pass out. I was so embarrassed with my behavior I moved out the next day." There is clearly regret in her words.

"Don't you think that was an overreaction?" you ask baffled by her decision.

"It sure was. I just didn't know how to handle it. People scare me...but I've changed since then..." she trails off and you have a good idea why.

"Well how have you been? Where are you?" asks Jessica.

There is a long pause, "I'm at home for now and, how am I? That is difficult to answer but also why I wanted to call you." There is another pause, "do you remember that party?'"

You raise your eye brow at the question but Jessica answers, "of course. It was like the one and only thing we did."

"Right....well um...did anything happen at that party?" again in her tentative voice.

You swallow and answer, "you passed out early on and we took you home."

"Anything else?" she asks.

"Well, we weren't with you the whole time," you feel guilty but do not know how much you should say.

"I see, I don't remember much but someone took advantage of me. I think it was that Jared guy," she says and you swallow another lump of guilt.

"What do you mean? What happened?" you ask, your mouth dry.

"I mean, I got pregnant. I have twins," she is much calmer than you would have expected but it does not remove your guilt but there is also an unexpected joy.

"That's awful. Why didn't you get an abortion or call the cops or something?" asks Jessica, her voice shaking.

"I thought about it, but I was in denial for too long. By the time it was obvious to everyone, including myself, it was too late to do anything about it."

There is another pause this one longer than the previous ones. You bite your lip not sure what to say or what to expect. Jessica equally tongue-tied scratches her head anxiously.

The look on your faces is hysterical when Alicia speaks again. She is laughing, "it's funny. These kids are the result of a **** I do not even remember but I love them so much."

"That's good...I guess you," say awkwardly unsure how to answer that but feel a weight lift from your shoulders and notice the same change in Jessica.

"Would it...would it be weird if I asked if I could see you again...and show you my babies?" she is more nervous and uncomfortable with this question than anything else she has spoken of so far.

"Of course not!" answers Jessica enthusiastically. "We would love to see them."

You end up meeting again the next day as it turns out Alicia had not moved too far. First thing you end up needing to do is convince her that you are Jessie and that Jessica is Tina, as you two do not look the way she remembers. You do convince her though, after all it had been a year ago and only one day. Later it is explained that the names Jessie and Tina are nick names but before that the next thing you notice is how happy she is to be a mother. A lot of your guilt disappears when you notice this, though not all of it. She is truly happy to be a mother which just astounds you considering how it happened but she is.

After some time, Jessica and yourself become god parents. Alicia works through her social anxiety with your help and even ends up back in school and with a boyfriend. Years later when Jessica and you have your own kids, they all end up playing and fighting together as if siblings, becoming best friends.