Talk to Pieter

I sit down with the pot of tea, turn on the tealight in the heater, and place it atop it. "How was your hangover this morning? You guys drank way too much last night."

"Like someone had driven a spike into my head and tried to remove part of my brain. My brain was horrible. I woke up with a weird app on my phone called LifeQuest." She is getting nervous about this part. "I think it **** you to feed me my food yesterday, to make you offer to cook me dinner Saturday." She looks ashamed.

"Roos, those things I have done for you since I knew how to cook. You used to play at being my wife who would clean the house. Tim said you would never do that, and I said If Roos wants to be a housewife, let her. It is her choice." She starts smiling. "But I end up being more of a househusband in terms of skill than you ever did as a housewife." With a smile that screams, 'You dick don't remind me,' she punches my arm.

"Okay, I get it, Pieter, you think it is a hoax." She says in frustration.

"Even if it isn't, I don't think it is forcing us to do anything we didn't want to begin with. Looking at it with the least sceptical eyes, that is what I think."

"You really don't mind?" There is relief in her voice, but an uncertain one.

"Yeah, did it give you more **** 'Quest' or something?"

She gets nervous again and admits, "It did. It asked me to drink a lot and drink my own piss and even to ask you to get me some of yours. Well, not yours specifically, but from the person I told about the app."

"And why would it ask you to do that? That is so weird. Be honest, do you like the idea of drinking pee? And as for the last part, do you actually want me to give you some of my pee?"

"I have an interest in it, yes, I have for a while. I saw you pissing in the woods once and thought, 'I want to be the tree he is pissing against.' I would enjoy it if you could give me a glass of your finest piss." She chuckles as she says it.

"I don't need to go yet, but after a few cups of tea, it will flow. Can you wait? And you can tell me more about how horrendous your day went. And if you want, I will tell you about mine."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good plan." She finally manages to relax fully. She tells me about her day. How glad she was to see my message. How she hated the challenge of drinking 3 litres of water. That she almost pissed herself after the meeting, and that she found it super hot. The piss came out so violently that her panties got soaked, and she had to go commando because of that. She thought it was super hot that she wasn't wearing panties and no one knew.

I tell her about my day, Jessica not understanding that food sometimes is restricted by religious practices. People who follow those practices prefer dishes that they know conform to them. So a Muslim will prefer Halal chicken or vegetarian over pork dishes. Same for Hindus and beef. I told her that if they keep hiring more people of these religions, we should make more vegetarian and halal chicken, since those are the dishes they eat. And I get called a racist. By the end of my complaining session, I need to pee. "Excuse me, I need to get you some fresh pee."

She replies with a coy smile, "I would have preferred it if you did it here so I can be sure it is your piss and not apple juice with water or straight water." I look at her and take it as a dare. I go to the kitchen, grab a measuring cup, return, and pee into it. "Wow, I didn't think you would actually do it here in the living room. Is that a lot, 400ml?"

I zip up and go sit down and say: "Hmm, what do you mean 400ml isn't a lot of lemonade. It is just 2 glasses drink up, you wanted me to make it." Let's pretend that around quests, there is some form of awareness filter. I will need to buy it if I give her more tasks outside.

She glares at me: "Do you remember the LifeQuest app and my day?"

"Yeah you had a horrible day.... I can't recall what happened. I just know it was bad. As for that app helps you get things done you wished for but didn't have the guts to do, right?"

She looks puzzled again, thinking about the options, but she is smart and will figure it out. "Thanks for the lemonade." And she starts drinking my pee in front of me, not knowing I know.

We continue talking, and I mention that I had been thinking of buying the catering company I work for. She smiles and says: "Pieter, you are better off becoming someone's househusband. You are not the type to be dominant and to make the big decisions. You want to please everyone, you never decide for yourself." This ticks me off. I push her onto the couch. "You know I could pull up your dress and have you here on my couch if I wanted to, right?" I say as a tease.

She bites her lip and says: "I didn't know you had buttons to push like this. Do you actually want to fuck me, or are you doing this to fake some agency?"