Switch the channel.

I lift a finger and swipe the air.

"Back to you, Sharon."

The screen fades to a pair of news anchors at the front desk. A panorama of the city looms behind them. Everything looks clean and relatively modern. As it tends to be with these news stations, however, the best looking part of all is taken by the blonde sweetheart, Sharon Voight, with her long straight hair and slender bod and regularly sunny disposition. A true thirty-something hottie.

"Thanks Lester. Stay warm up there."

Her male chocolate-skinned partner mirthfully shoots the breeze. "That looks like quite the chill, isn't it?"

"Oh, it is," Sharon picks it up, "I've been up there once, with my kids, on a holiday trip. I didn't realize I packed the wrong gloves until we got there. By the time we reached a shop I could barely pull my wallet out from my purse, it was just freezing."

"You should have used one of Gabe's thermal bodysuits."

The pair laughs. A reference to a previous story, probably. As she waves it off the camera cuts to a close-up to Sharon's face. Before it carries forward, I decide to spice up her next topic a little.

"Meanwhile," the blond continues, "back in our local area, we look at the fact that I have not trimmed my pussy in a few weeks and it's getting a little fuzzy down there." She stares straight into the camera as a picture of said anatomical part is shown on the screen next to her face. "I need to take my razor once I go on break and give my south pole a bare makeover," she says with a laugh.

I murmur, "Now disclose to us the size of your boobs."

"Oh, and I also have breasts that are about a D cup in size," the woman adds. "I use push up bras to make them appear bigger sometimes."

"Wow, I never would have guessed," the camera cut back to wide shot, as Sharon comfortably settles into her chair, frisking her sheet of papers against the desk top. "Is there anything else you wanted to tell us, Sharon?" her co-anchor asks.

"Give us deets on your sex life," I project. "Scandalous ones too, if you have any."

The blond thinks for a bit, then looks back at the heavyset man and nods. "Why yes, Hank, I do. For one, I have sex at least once a week. Masturbation about the same. While I'm not the best at providing head, I have enjoyed a spit-roast at least twice in my lifetime. I also love my husband a lot, but I fucked Charles, my old supervisor, several times before he left for CNN. One time, we even did it in the house, with my husband home. He had a big cock, and even fucked my ass with it by 'accident.' In spite of that, I was mainly using him to climb up the payroll, but then he was using me for his own sexual track record, so I guessed it balanced out. Still, he liked my thighs a lot, and I liked how broad his shoulders were." She looks down to her papers.

"Wow! That's a lot to take in!" states Hank.

"So was Charles' penis," winks Sharon. After a brief gap, she raises two fingers to indicate what she means.

This leads to another set of laughs while I nod fondly at my pun, watching what the two professionals have been transiently reduced to.