Surprisingly well

"Back the hell off!" Mammo snarled, getting in front of Lucy and Kyle. "You might've depowered Lucy, but I'm still a demon lord! So if you two even think about -"

"Lucy is in danger!" Hailey shouted. "The second she steps outside either the front or the back of this place, she'll be killed!"

"And I should believe this, why?" Lucy asked skeptically. "You've been trying to kill me all night!"

"Look! We spoke with Fortuna and are seriously rethinking our life choices," Hailey replied, "but right now, you've got two stubborn and competent hunters after you!"

"How competent?" Kyle asked, worried about Lucy's safety as he grabbed a hold of The Devil's hand.

"Grant once mowed down about seventy zombies with a single tommygun magazine!" Hailey replied, "Now, we now know that they were just normal people like us -"

"Did Fortuna tell you that?" Charity asked, shaking her head. "That's not technically true. See, things like the undead, molemen, werewolves, goblins, and cryptids are more akin to mortal animals like lions and wolves. It's gods, goddesses, demons, and deities that are more akin to humans."

"But Fortuna said -"

"Fortuna is like one of those mortal nuts that thinks mortals and gods should burn and suffer in hell because they had a hamburger for lunch or went to the zoo." Mammo replied, pinching the bridge of her nose. "She never thought that way before until about... Oh, I wanna say it was the eighteen hundreds."

"1904, actually." Charity corrected.

"Well, now Ah feel slightly less guilty..." Buddy said. A second later, he shook his head. "But Ms. Hailey's got a point! As good as Grant is, Roxie's a hundred times better a hunter! And with Ms. Lucy here havin' no powers, she's a sittin' duck!"

"Okay." Lucy said, raising an eyebrow. "So, if we assume you two aren't lying to us, how do we get out of here? We still need to head over to Ozzie's and Satie's places of business to grab their amulets. Which, by the way, Mammo -"

"Yeah, not until I get something in return for it."

"Mammon." Charity said sternly, "Under the circumstances, I think you should give it to Lucy so she can get her powers back."

"Babe, she slammed you against a wall!"

"Because you never told her we were married, let alone dating!" Charity argued, "I mean, you told all your other friends. Why didn't you tell -"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. The other girls knew about this?!" Lucy asked in shock, "Mammo! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because you were the most vocal about it!" Mammo replied. After getting looks from everyone in the room, she sighed and shook her head. "Alright, fine! But I want a second honeymoon for me and Charity sponsored by you, Luce!"

"Deal."

"In Tahiti."

"Done."

"In a five star hotel!"

"Noted."

"For the next three years."

"Okay!"

"And a room that's not next to the ice ma-"

"MAMMO!"

"Okay! Okay. Here." Mammo said as she handed Lucy the amulet, the redhead placing it in her handbag.

"Now that that's settled, how do we get out of here?" Kyle asked.

---

"That Devil bitch should have been out of there by now!" Roxie snarled as she hid behind a trash can next the back door of the casino. Growling, she picked up the walkie-talkie she and Grant grabbed from the van and spoke into it. "Apex Predator to Inch Worm. Come in, Inch Worm."

"Why the hell am I 'Inch Worm'?!" Grant's voice asked sourly over the other end. "I'm not small down there!"

"That's not what both of your ex-wives said..." Roxie said smugly.

"Ugh! Fine. Inch Worm to Alpha Bitch, I copy."

Roxie frowned in annoyance at that before taking a deep breath. "Any movement on your end?"

"Not unless you count a naked brunette streaking the casino. Kinda hot, actually."

"Keep it in your pants, Romeo!" Roxie muttered in annoyance, rolling her eyes. "Besides, you'd better hope her nose has stopped functioning unless we get access to hydrogen peroxide, dish soap, and baking soda."

"Hey! I'm not Hailey or Buddy!" Grant spat, "My mind is on the mission! That said, I think we might need to come up with a different tactic. The Devil knows what Hailey looks like, so if she and the that guy see that brainless bimbo in there, she's not coming out."

"Oh, she'll have to come out eventually."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Then I'll go in and flush them out."

---

"Okay, think!" Lucy said, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. "There has to be a way we can sneak by those two and get over to Ozzie's."

"You two know Grant and Roxie the most," Kyle asked as he turned to Hailey and Buddy, "do they have any personal weaknesses or something?"

"Grant's overly superstitious when it comes to black cats." Hailey suggested. "He turned down a hunt for The Black Beast of Exmoor just because he didn't like the idea of a large black cat crossing his path."

"Roxie's afraid of clowns." Buddy said before giving off a chuckle. "Why, Ah remember when we were in Miami chasing after this bogart and it turned into that kid's TV show host, Blinky the Clown. Ha! Roxie's white britches were stained yellow the entire time we was on that there hunt."

"Okay, do they have anything we can actually use against them to throw them off our trail for a bit?" Kyle tried again.

"Other than Roxie just hates him while Grant hates her for sleeping with his sister, ex-girlfriend, and two ex-wives..." Hailey and Buddy shrugged.

"Wait... Maybe we can use this." Mammo said thoughtfully, getting everyone else's attention before looking around. "Where's Morrigan?"

Almost as if in reply, a crow flew in through the window and landed on a stool in front of the group. Within seconds, Morrigan transformed back into her normal form. "If it's about those demon hunters... Well, let's just say I already gave them my two scents." She said with a thick Irish accent and knowing smile. "Something that will stick with them for a few weeks."

"Well, turns out they still haven't learned their lesson." Mammo said. "They set an ambush out both the front and back of the casino, and Lucy and her boy toy here need to get out so they can finish getting prepared for The Ritual."

"Hmm... Sounds more like a three person job to me." Morrigan replied with a smirk as she stood up...

And split into three different yet identical women.

"What's the plan?" Badb, Macha, and Annan asked in unison.

---

"Where the hell is she?!" Grant asked, impatiently tapping his foot. Groaning, he reached for his walkie-talkie, but just as he was about to radio Roxie...

"Meow!"

"Get lost fuzz ball!" Grant muttered, letting out an annoyed growl as he heard a loud purring next to him. "I said beat it, you stupid -"

Grant's eyes widened as he saw the black cat sitting next to him, the cat letting out another meow as it stood up and slowly moved forward.

"Oh no you don't!" Grant snapped as he got up and jumped over the cat. "You can't cross my path if you're not in front!"

Almost as if in response, the cat headed over to his side and began to walk in front of him again.

"Stop that!" Grant said in a panic as he jumped out of the way again, only for the cat to continue their little dance for a few minutes, herding Grant away from the casino and towards an alleyway. Grant growled and aimed his shotgun at the cat. "Wanna see if you really got nine lives?!"

"Meow!" The cat mewled as it moved forward.

*BANG!*

---

"Apex Predator to Inch Worm! Did you take the target down?!" Roxie asked into her radio. When she didn't get a response, she tried again. "Inch Worm! Come in!"

*Honk! Honk!*

Hearing what sounded like a small motor scooter with a bike horn, Roxie turned around to see a small rainbow colored Volkswagon turn around the corner and come to a halt in front of her. The driver side door of the tiny car opened up as a tall woman with red curly hair climbed out, dressed in clown makeup, a big red nose, giant red shoes, and a polka dot jumpsuit. The clown woman looked down at Roxie with a smile.

"Hahaha!" The Clown Woman said in a loud and squeaky voice, "Hi there, Ms. Sourpuss! I heard that someone needs a barrel laughs! And from the looks of it, you also need a barrel of soap because peeeeewwww! Hahahaha!"

"CLOWN!" Roxie shrieked in terror as she fell backwards, desperately crawling away as she looked up at The Clown Woman in fear. "S-stay back! Go away! GO AWAY!"

"I think someone needs a hug!" The Clown Woman said as she slowly approached, laughing with her arms wide open.

"NOOOO! GO AWAY!" Roxie screamed, tears of fear in her eyes as she got to her feet and ran away with the clown following her, unknowingly being herded into the same alleyway that Grant was.

---

"Where are you, you spawn of satan?!" Grant shouted, on edge as he looked around the alley for the cat, having missed every shot and emptying all the shells in his shotgun. Now down to his pistol, he took aim at the slightest movements...

Until a hysterical Roxie slammed into him, causing him to drop his pistol as it bounced off the pavement and into a storm drain.

"What the hell?!" Grant snarled as he spun around.

"Don't let her get me! Don't let her get me!"

"Who?"

"THE CLOWN!"

Grant blinked a few times before exploding in a fit of laughter. "Let me get this straight. We're out here hunting The Devil herself, and your afraid of clowns?!"

"Oh yeah?! Well you certainly getting jumpy over The Devil! What the hell were you shooting at?!"

"A black cat was trying to cross my path!"

"... ... ... Are you fucking serious?!"

Grant opened his mouth to respond only for a familiar hissing noise to interrupt him, causing both his and Roxie's blood to run cold. Turning around, the two went wide eyed as they saw the orca sized skunk taking aim at them again...

This time joined by two others in the exact same position.

"Not again..." Roxie squeaked, the two hunters squeezing their eyes shut.

---

"Pew!" Buddy exclaimed as the group made it over to his van, cringing slightly as he heard Grant and Roxie's screams. "Smells like they done messed with an entire army of polecats!"

"Yeah, I almost feel bad for them." Hailey said. After getting some looks from the others, she added, "I said 'almost'."

"Catch you at the ritual, Lucy!" Mammo called out as Lucy and Kyle got into the van, three crows landing next to her before morphing into one and transforming into Morrigan.

As the van drove off, Charity leaned in close to Mammo. "Snuggle Bunny? Do you think Lucy is going to actually tell Kyle what The Ritual entails?"

"If she doesn't, then Ozzie sure well."

---

Inside a corner store, the clerk was reading a magazine when the door chime rang. He nearly gagged as what smelled like a sceptic tank covered in rotten meat and eggs caught fire on a beach during low tide, turning to see the underwear clad and soaking wet Roxie and Grant trudge into the store.

"Good Lord! Were you two doing laps in a sewer?!" The Clerk asked, pulling his shirt over his nose.

"Skunk attack." Roxie spat bitterly, "Several skunk attacks. Which aisle is the hydrogen peroxide on?"

"Sorry, fresh out of that stuff." The Clerk stated, "And a there's baking competition next week, so we're out of baking soda and dish soap."

"And what do you have?" Grant asked, "Because we are not running around this city looking for another store!"

"Well, we've got several jugs of tomato juice left."

"Tomato juice doesn't work! It's just a cover up!" Roxie shouted in annoyance before letting out a frustrated groan. "Forget it! We'll take as many as we - Crap! I left my wallet in the van!"

"And mines still in my pants at that party!"

"I'll give you every jug we have in stock for free if you two will please just get out of my store before you set off the smoke detector!" The Clerk begged.

---

"So, Asmodeus..." Kyle began.

"Oh, Ozzie is a really nice person. My best friend, even!" Lucy replied. "She's professional when it comes to her business, but she'll always help her friends if they need it."

"... I'm sorry, this is all new to us about Demon Lords being all buddy buddy with each other and other gods and demons." Hailey said.

"Well, maybe not 'buddy buddy', but a lot of us are on good terms with one another." Lucy commented. A second later, she added, "Except Zeus. Fuck that guy!"

"So, as Ozzie is the Demon Lord of Lust, what kind of business is she running here." Kyle asked nervously, "Is this like a strip club?"

"It ain't one of them cat houses is it?" Buddy asked.

"If she wants to interview me for a movie role on a couch in front of a camera, I am running the opposite direction!" Hailey stated flatly.

"No, no, no." Lucy explained, "Not like any of those at all! Her business is strictly on the up and up. Ozzie always believed that lust is something that both partners should feel towards one another. Her motto always was, ''Lust' is two letters away from 'Trust'. Not only that, but Ozzie hates porn!"

"A lust demon that hates nudie movies?" Buddy asked before shaking his head with a laugh. "Now I heard everything."

"Okay then, where does she work?" Kyle asked.

"She owns a chain of love hotels." Lucy replied without skipping a beat.

"Uh... 'Love hotels'?" Kyle asked, eyes going wide. "You mean, those hotels were couples rent a room for one night to..."

"Is there a problem?"

---

"Welcome to House of Lust." A mousey looking young woman droned at the front desk of the love hotel, not looking up from her magazine. "How may I hel-" she finally looked up and went wide eyed at the naked Lucy and Kyle, the shirtless Buddy, and the bottomless Hailey, "HELLO!"

"Yes, hi." Lucy greeted, not surprised by the outburst. "Is your -"

"You folks need to leave."

"Excuse me?"

"You folks need to leave now!" The Receptionist repeated with a frown. "This is a love hotel, not a nudist resort. We have a very strict "No shirts, no shoes, no service" policy here at House of Lust, Ma'am."

"Look, if you -" Lucy tried again.

"If you four are not off the property in the next two minutes -"

"I just need to talk with Ozzie, alright?!" Lucy snapped, pounding her fist on the desk. "She'll understand my plight!"

The Receptionist stared skeptically at Lucy before shaking her head. "Fine. Please wait in the lobby while I go get her."

---

"So, you dag." A voluptuous and curvy blonde with long, curly blonde hair said in a thick Australian accent as she laid out on the bed in front of a nerdy looking young man in just a pair of boxers. The blonde herself was dressed in a necklace with a dark purple amulet adorned with a large "L" carved into it... And nothing else. "Are you gonna stand there like a drongo, or are ya gonna pull down your underdaks and free your doodle?"

The nerd looked nervous as he gulped, reaching down for his underwear with shaky hands. However, this came to a stop once there was a knock at the door.

"Oh, just ignore that." The Blonde said as she slowly reached forward and gently tugged on the boxers. "Let's see what the little joey looks -"

"Ms. Ozzie! This is important!"

Ozzie growled in annoyance as she got up from the bed. '"Sorry, Mate. Gotta take care of this real quick." She said apologetically to the nerd as she grabbed a purple robe and slipped it on before walking to the door. Opening it, she glared angrily at The Receptionist. "What?!"

"Ms. Ozzie, I -"

"You know that when the pink light next to me door is on," Ozzie pointed to the bright pink florescent light bulb in question, "that means I'm with a client that paid extra moolah to lose their virginity to a sexy and sweet girl." Ozzie said with an annoyed frown, "This had better be good."

"I'm terribly sorry, Ms. Ozzie, but we got a Code Au Natural in the lobby..."

"Crikey! Another one?!" Ozzie groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Can't those drongos read the freaking sign! This is a legitimate business, not some -"

"Is something wrong?" The nerdy guy asked.

"I'm sorry, Mate. Something just came up. We can give you a refund immediately..." Ozzie told her customer before looking at The Receptionist. With an idea popping into her head, she smiled and quickly added, "Unless you would rather like to take part in a once in a lifetime offer we've just started. A matchmaking service of sorts."

"That sounds kinda interesting..."

"What kinda offer is that, Ms. Ozzie?" The Receptionist whispered in confusion.

"Remember when you kept bellyachin' to me about not finding someone to have a naughty with?" Ozzie asked, grabbing The Receptionist by the shoulder. "Well, I'm killin' two birds with one stone."

"But I -" The Receptionist began before Ozzie pushed her inside and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her as she left. The Receptionist looked towards the nerd as they both shuffled awkwardly. "So... Seen any movies lately?"

"Well I... I came here after I saw the new Galactic Combat movie..." The Nerd replied.

"Oh my god! I love that franchise!" The Receptionist gasped excitedly. With a wide grin, she came forward and dug into her pants pocket before pulling out a keychain with a chibi version of a Yeti like creature. "I still have my old Crunchy keychain as my most prized possession!"

"Get the hell out of here right now!" The Nerd gasped in shock, taking a closer look at the keychain. "They stopped making these things twenty years ago! And Crunchy was the most rarest one to date!"

The two stared into each others eyes briefly... Before The Receptionist leapt into The Nerd's arms as the two made out fiercely, the latter practically ripping of the former's uniform while The Receptionist yanked The Nerd's boxers right off.

---

"I think they're getting along quite nicely." Ozzie said with a laugh as she made her way to the elevator, a smirk on her face as she heard her receptionist gasp and moan.

---

"This is not gonna work." Roxie groaned as she and Grant stood in the alley behind the corner store, surrounded by tomato juice as they stood next to a large plastic barrel. "Everyone knows tomato juice is just a myth! At best, it'll cover up the stink!"

"If my sense of smell wasn't shot right now, I'd say nothing would cover up this smell!" Grant muttered as he poured the last jug of tomato juice into the barrel. "Now just turn around so I can get in!"

"HOLD IT! Who said you were the one getting in this red gunk first?!" Roxie snapped, "You turn around!"

"No way!" Grant said as he grabbed the side of the barrel, "I've been sprayed by giant skunks too many times tonight to not get first dibs!"

"We were sprayed the exact same amount, you moron!" Roxie shrieked as she grabbed the other side of the barrel. "I swear, if stupidity was a sin, you'd be the one burning in hell!"

"And who are you - Wait. What did you just say?"

"I called you an idiot!"

"No, no. You said 'Sin'." Grant said. The man put a hand to his chin in thought as he said, "'Sin'. 'Sin'... That's it!"

"What is?"

"Think about it! What do all the places we been to while following The Devil tonight have in common?" Grant asked.

"We were made the biggest laughing stocks on the planet?"

"No!" Grant replied with a grin, "First was Laze E. Co.. 'Laze E.'. Lazy... or sloth!"

Roxie raised an eyebrow in shock. "Then it was Glutton Gulch. That was gluttony!"

"The girl who threw us into the pool at that party was clearly jealous that you were copping a feel on her girlfriend."

"Envy..." Roxie said quietly in realization. "And the casino is -"

"Greed!" Grant finished, "Exactly! And with The Devil herself, that's five of The Seven Deadly Sins! I don't know how, why, or what's going on, but somehow, someway, those places are connected with The Devil."

"So what you're saying is..."

"We find the next place that represents a sin," Grant said with a smug smirk, "and we find The Devil."

"I'll admit, that actually sounds like a great idea." Roxie said, "But how will we know where to go next?"

"Well, we know that lust and wrath are the only sins left." Grant said as he looked down, a smirk on his face as he saw an ad in an old magazine advertising a love hotel. "And I think I know where she's heading next."

"Great! We can head over after I climb in and -"

"Nice try, but I'm going in first!" Grant snapped.

"No, I am!" Roxie fired back.

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Okay, stop!" Roxie snapped in annoyance. "We're wasting enough time as it is. So let's just call a ceasefire and climb into this barrel at the same time. It's big enough for both of us."

"Hell no! I am not bathing with you! Skunk bath or otherwise!"

"Then you can smell like the back end of a skunk for the rest of the night! Your pick!"

"... ... ... Ugh! Fine!"

---

"Right, you drongos!" Ozzie spat as the elevator doors opened and she marched into the lobby. "This is a ligitamate business, and I can't have you coming in in the nuddy! So get your clothes back on, or get the bloody hell out of my - Lucy?!"

"Uh... Hey, Ozzie." Lucy greeted awkwardly, "Sorry to barge in like this."

"Luce? Why are you -" Ozzie began, only to stop as she eyed the naked Kyle next to her friend. "Bloody hell! Take a squizz at that donger! What a beaut!"

Kyle blushed and covered his junk, but still grinned. Yet another demon lord actually thought he was attractive!

"Ozzie..." Lucy said sternly, stepping in front of Kyle.

"Do you have any idea what in tarnation she's saying, Ms. Hailey?" Buddy whispered, Hailey shaking her head no in reply.

Ozzie looked between Lucy and Kyle for a bit before a massive grin came to her face. "Oh hoho! I getcha!" Ozzie said with a laugh, "Luce, you little ripper! Me best mate finally found someone to make an honest woman out of her, eh? Hey! Let me grab ya the keys to The Presidential Suite. Mate's discount!"

"Look, maybe another time, Ozzie." Lucy said. "Long story super short, I got splashed with holy water by some demon hunters who are still on my trail, and now I need your amulet to preform The Ritual."

"The Ritual?! Well, that makes this even better for ya then, don't it?!"

"By the way," Kyle began, "everyone else either danced around the subject or ignored me about it, but what is this Ritual anyway?"

"Ha! Like Lucy wouldn't have told ya whst The Ritual was!" Ozzie said, laughing loudly. After a few seconds, her laughter died down as she saw the serious look on Kyle's face. With a shocked expression, Ozzie turned her head to Lucy. "You didn't tell him?!"

"I was going to!" Lucy replied. After a few seconds she looked down at her feet. "You know... After we found the place with the most spiritual energy and you other girls arrived?"

"Lucielle Morningstar!" Ozzie said with a frown, narrowing her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips. "I am beyond disappointed in you, Sheila! You know better than that, and this bloke has every right to know what he's getting into!"

"And what is that?" Kyle asked.

"What The Ritual basically is is that you two need to find a place rich in spiritual energy, usually somewhere that's in public and is visible by any mortals passing by who get their minds wiped of the events later, while the other demon lords form a circle around the two of you with our amulets and combine our demonic energy with the surrounding spiritual energy to return Lucy's power to her..." Ozzie explained.

"Well, that doesn't sound bad." Kyle replied.

"And you and Lucy have to be rooting each other's brains out at the same time." Ozzie finished.

"... We have to what?" Kyle asked in confusion.

"'Root'." Ozzie replied, "You know, 'have a naughty'? 'Make the beast with two backs'? 'Dance horizontally'? 'Rutting'? 'Doing it like they do on The Discovery Channel'?"

"Uh..."

"You two gotta fuck, Mate." Ozzie stated flatly.