Study Buddies

I had to admit, I was a bit surprised by how serious Emma was taking things. It had been two weeks since she asked me to be her study buddy and we were on our fifth meet-up. Most guys would kill to be in the situation I found myself in. A hot girl in close proximity where you were **** to interact with each other. It was the stereotypical situation that allowed the average nerd to land himself a girlfriend way out of their league. I, however, was rooted in reality and kept a healthy check on expectations.

She was here for studying, nothing more.

No matter how close she sat next to me, or when she pressed against me to see me work through a problem, or the light-hearted remarks she made, it was all her being a nice person who just so happened to be studying with me. Studying with Emma did change how I saw her. She wasn’t the ditz I thought she was and the longer we worked together, the less guarded I was that this was all some sort of elaborate prank at my expense. The smiles and bubbly personality faded when she got her homework out in front of her.

Honestly, this side of her was a lot better than the one she put on for her friends. More than a few times, I had been caught staring. That had brought back her teasing side instantly but she never pushed me on it. She just acknowledged that she caught me and left it at that. I couldn’t help it though. Those moments of her in deep concentration, gnawing on her mechanical pencil was something special. The intensity of her blue eyes when she was focusing on my explanations or the joy that sparkled in them whenever she worked through a tough problem on her own were all cherished moments I had with her. It made me question the rumors that hung around her.

Despite my best efforts, I found myself looking forward to her texts asking if she could join me in the library. In a way, I hated myself for it. I felt like a fish eyeing a piece of bait. I knew it was trouble and that I should simply leave it and head in the opposite direction, but it was so tempting.

Probably why it was called bait.

“I’m really worried about Mrs. Caldwell’s test,” she said before burying her head in her hands. “I just don’t get this, at all.”

“The test is next week. There is plenty of time to go over the material.”

“We can go over it again and again, but it doesn’t mean I’ll understand it any better.”

Seeing Emma stressed out was a bit unnerving. I wanted to pat her back and tell her it was going to be okay but it wasn’t my place. Fortunately, there were some things I could do to help.

“I’ll look into some help videos. There has to be a way to explain it in a way you understand. I’m guessing there are practice problems we can work through together too. We can meet here tomorrow to go over things, and if you still don’t feel comfortable, we can work on it over the weekend too.”

She looked up, blue eyes studying me. “You’d do that?”

“Hmm?”

“Give up your weekend to help me study.”

I shrugged as if it were no big deal. Honestly, it wasn’t. “I usually spend the weekend studying.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Of course. Why did I expect differently?”

We worked through the rest of our homework, finishing a little after four-thirty. As I packed up my things and prepared to say goodbye I found her staring at me and I instantly became self-conscious. “Something wrong?”

“I feel kinda bad. You are going out of your way to help and I’m doing nothing in return.”

I shrugged. “It’s not too different than what I do anyway. Helping you reinforces the concepts and helps me better understand them so don’t worry. Helping you helps me.”

“Still…”

She seemed unsure of my explanation, but I waved her concern away. “Focus on the test. Look over Mrs. Caldwell’s study guide some more and I’ll try to find some other help we can look over tomorrow.”

Emma chewed on her lower lip but nodded. “Okay. Thanks, Isaac.”

“See you tomorrow, Emma.”

Walking home, I didn’t waste time relaxing and immediately got to work. I’ll admit that I was probably taking this a little too seriously. Somewhere in the back of my mind was that rational side of me reminding me of our relationship. I was only doing this because she needed help and I had agreed to help her. There was nothing more to it than that. It would have been no different than if any of my other friends needed help.

Armed with a few hours worth of video explanations and printouts, I was ready for Friday. It passed like any other day, and I walked to the library alone to set up. Claiming a table off to the side, it took me a few minutes to set up. I glanced at the clock. Three twenty. Emma usually showed up around now, so I opened my book and started reading.

I didn’t notice the passage of time until I looked up and found it was just after four. Frowning, I pulled out my phone and confirmed that the clock was right. My phone was on vibrate, so I thought I might have missed her message, only to find nothing there. I typed in a simple message, only to delete it. I tried another and deleted that as well. After a few attempts, I finally sent one.

Hey Emma. Going to be at the library for another hour or so if you want to go over those math problems again.

Chewing at my lip, I stared at the phone like an idiot. As if staring at it would make her answer any faster. If she even answered.

The situation hit me like a slap in the face. I’d gotten too invested. I looked out over the table, seeing the extent of my folly. Hours of work sat spread out before me and all my effort achieved was an empty seat across from me. Emma had abandoned me without even a word.

I suppose the lesson wasn’t as harsh as it could have been. It was a nice reminder that even though our worlds temporarily overlapped, we were fundamentally in different orbits. Emma was only a visitor to my realm, and me expecting anything out of it was foolish. Even though I knew all this, the rejection still stung. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe we were nurturing any deep connection, but after all this time, I felt we were something more than simple acquaintances. We might not have been close friends, but I had thought we were at the level where there was enough respect for the other person to let them know if you weren’t going to show up.

Stewing over the situation, I found it hard to get back into my studying mindset. Instead, I brooded for the next thirty minutes. Waiting the full hour was pointless. It was Friday and Emma probably had a dozen other fun things planned with her friends than studying. Moving to start packing up my things, I was surprised when a winded Emma slid into the seat across from me.

“You’re still here, thank god,” she said, taking a breath. “Sorry I’m late.”

Taken aback by her appearance, I didn’t say anything at first. For someone who was usually immaculate in appearance, this was a side of Emma I’d never seen before. Her hair was slightly disheveled and she had a sheen of sweat on her face. As she shrugged off her coat, I found her clothes were ruffled underneath. Considering her appearance and her winded breath, I guessed she had run here.

Hooking a strand of black hair in her hand, she brushed it off her face. “I had to run over to a friend’s house first. I would have texted you, but…” She held up her phone to show me the black screen. When she pushed one of the buttons, it flashed the low power and promptly returned to black. She gave me a guilty smile. “I shouldn’t have been playing with it during Mr. Bremen’s science class, but it was so boring. I would have called or something from another phone, but your number is in my phone…”

I smiled, feeling more upbeat with her here. “No problem.”

“I feel really bad. I’m surprised you waited this long.”

I held up the textbook I had been trying to read. “I told you before, I would be here studying with or without you.”

She grinned. “Wow. Way to make me feel special.” That caught me a bit by surprise. She didn’t give me much time to process. “Look at all this. Did you get all this stuff for me?”

“I have some too,” I said, holding up one of the printouts. “I figured we can work through them together. I have a few different ways too—” My voice faded away as she grabbed her things and brought her chair around to sit next to me. There was a lingering sweetness of her perfume as she scooted in close. Even though her arm was slightly damp with sweat, I didn’t mind when it brushed against mine. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. We had been this close before, yet it never had my heart pounding the way it was now.

It was hard to focus.

“Okay,” she said softly, giving me a wide smile. “Where should we start?”

The next hour was agonizing. I did my best to focus on helping her, but it was like every little thing she did twisted something inside me. It was an almost giddy feeling. Like butterflies but mixed in with anxiety and a spritz of confusion.

Taking a deep breath, she leaned back in her chair. Stretching her arms up above her, she made a small grunting noise. I caught how it caused her shirt to creep up revealing the smooth skin of her navel. I quickly looked away before she caught me staring again.

She had done that enough today.

“I think I understand it a bit better now. Thanks, Isaac. You really saved my ass.” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak right now. Something was seriously wrong with me, and I wasn’t liking the implications of it. “Does the offer still stand for us meeting up tomorrow? I’m pretty sure I understand it, but I want to practice some more before the test.”

I nodded. “I’m free most of the afternoon. Evening… I have something planned.” Saturday night was when my friends came over and we played Dungeons and Dragons. We’d been playing it since freshmen year, and now it was really the only time we were able to hang out beside the ten or so minutes at the end of the day. It was almost a conspiracy how the school schedule divided us up.

Her eyebrow quirked at my vague answer and I could see the curiosity fill her. “Oh? Got a hot date?” she asked teasingly.

I gave a nervous smile. “Hardly.”

She had stopped packing up her things, focused entirely on me now. “Okay, now I’m a bit curious. What do you do when you aren’t studying?”

“Things.”

“Things? Very informative.”

“I hang out with my friends on Saturday,” I explained, hoping that would satisfy her curiosity. “We don’t get much time to hang out during the week, so we gather at my place and catch up, relax, that sort of thing.”

She eyed me suspiciously like she couldn’t decide if there was more I wasn’t telling her. There was, and I was doing my best to dissuade her of that notion. “Why are you making it sound so sinister?”

“I’m not?”

“You are! You’re making it sound like you are having debauched sex parties in the basement or something.”

“We aren’t!” I said a bit too loud. My face heated as I cleared my throat. “What the hell? How do you even get that?”

She was having a giggling fit. “Well, until I know otherwise, that’s what I’m going with.” Pressing my lips firmly together, I watched her as she calmed down. “Oh, don’t give me that look. I don’t judge people on what they’re into. If gay orgies are your thing, you do you.”

I shook my head, knowing she was goading me. The problem was it was absolutely working. “We play Dungeon and Dragons. Happy now?”

Emma was quiet for a moment. “Wow. That is… totally you. I absolutely see it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You got the whole ‘nerd’ thing down pat. Small group of friends, socially isolated, always studying, and play DnD in your spare time. You, Isaac, are a walking stereotype.” Seeing the expression on my face, she quickly backtracked. “Not saying it like it’s a bad thing.”

“You make it sound that way.”

“Sorry, sorry.” She made a cute face. “Bad habit of mine. I like to tease people, especially when they don’t like it. The more relaxed around someone I am, the more it comes out.” I processed that for a moment. Was that her way of saying she was relaxed around me? Not quite sure how to handle that bit of information. It was always a risk to read into things, so I decided to take it at face value and dismiss any notions of something deeper.

“Anyway,” she said, looking away. “I’m going to head out. I’ll text you tomorrow for a time to meet up?”

“Sure.”

Silently, we packed up our things. It continued even as we walked out of the library. She waved goodbye and we went our separate ways. As I walked home, I couldn’t help but feel anxious about tomorrow.