Standalone Stat-Sheet Rachel

Okay boyos, and girls? I am really curious if girls are even reading this, well on second thought don't tell me I like to still keep thinking that something I do girls might like, anyway as the chapter title suggests, yes this is number 3 of 4 or well now it is more like 3 of... 7 I guess? well anyway I thought I treat you guys to a nice cup of tea - after that cake thing kind of blew up in my face, did you know you aren't allowed keep humans locked up in a 2 by 2 meter space for three years? Apparently there are laws against that, go figures everything that is fun is forbidden: Genocide, slavery, nuclear war, strangulating stickman, eating dogs - well at least here where I am it is - and I am goiong over the top again ain't I? Well to bad I am having fun deal with it, anyway here is the promised tea (cue the Superman scene)

oh and no inventory screen for her, that shit is broken - or more to the point I already have one for that

###CHARACTER-SHEET### (You know you english guys are werid, why make the word for shit and sheet sound so alike, I mean one you wipe your arse one comes out of your arse, I won't clarify which is which though)****

• Name: Racheliane Arariel (No seriously that is her name, I mean it is not as weird as some names I heard out there, I mean come on what kind of name is India or Paris, I mean are that even things?)
• Race: Human (So with her I am kind of at an problematic area, because well, she is smart, but she is a human so does that mean not all humans are stupid or that a small amount of them are smart, wait that means the same thing right, well shit I don't know what that means - and I might have a new favourite word, I mean)
• Class: Ranger (Not the army kind, why does one always have to explain everything to americans not everything is about the army or navy or marines or air **** or cia or the kgb oh wait wrong nation)
• Level: 14 (If you multiplie 2 by 7 it is 14 and if you take from that 3 and subtract two times 2 it is 7 again, oh my god what have I just discoverd)

###VITAL STATISTICS### (I am seriously disturbed by those guys who say that they enjoy these stat-sheets, you guys have some serious issues, I mean I have to have issues to write these but man how bad must your issues be to enjoy this)

• STR: 4 (So in all honesty not a single digit was added to this number here, so she won't ever be able to resist ****, well why can't a woman like that be the police woman that arrested me)
• DEX: 12 (So part numbero Uno to make her into Speedy, Speedy Gonzales that is not speedy from arrow although thea is one hottie I have to say I would love for her to stretch my bow - well that is one bad mataphor for sex)
• CON: 9 (So I am still not sure if I gotta use this one for stamina during sex or add a deprived stat for stamina, but if I do you will be the first to know or no actually you won't it will be me, I will be the first to know, you guys are like third or fourth probably)
• APP: 10 (<Insert repetative comment about cute girl at exam who needs to get facefucked>)
• CHA: 8 (You see here the number 8 in its natural habitat, a statfield of some character in a semi-not-realistic-not-so-subtle-porn-game-about-****-and-sentient-monsters, or something like that)
• WIS: 6 (Wisdom, would be nice to have some now, seeing as I am in dire need for Ideas for good comments, well you guys were right I am running out, not of ideas, but I have to pee quite strong right now)
• INT: 5 (You know the Interdictor from star wars, the old republic version not the civil war version, well I really like that ship, you might wonder what does that have to do with anything, well I am not so sure to be honest really but yeah it just popped in my mind)

###DERIVED STATISTICS### (Maybe I should try sublimal messages in this texts, so I will try this now: At the end of every comment from now on is a word and it forms a message I want you to follow or something like that, You)

• HP: 35 (Base + STR + DEX + CON) (Why did I make this so hard for myself I hate math god damn it, are)
• MP: 0 (Base + WIS + CHA) (erm, did nobody realize that I took out the Manaregen thing in Barbaras screen? I mean I was expecting a complain letter to the CEO of shadowcorp, my)
• MV: 37 (Base+CON+DEX+INT) (She is quickerino moverino, and well shit I don't know she is fast, faster, faster too fast and foriuos, ****)
• SS: 3,14 (thats all I know from PI well the one from math at least the other one the one to eat I don't know anything because I can't cook or bake or stuff like that, so)
• LR: 21 (Base+WIS+Level) (She knows something about something so she knows more than nothing but if you know that you know nothing you know more than a lot of people so does that mean if you know that you know something that you know more than someone who knows that he knows nothing - the know paragraph is here, send)
• AG: 31 (Base+DEX+CON) (It is just a coinsidence that there are so many threes in here, nude)
• PC: 29 (Base+WIS+INT+CHA) (Damn I hoped to get another number with 3 out of this, but shit I am only a huamn so I am probably a stupid - as we all are - except the furrys, they are, well, they are something inbetween, pics)

###Race Abilities### (Warning: Racist comments incoming, no safe space after this paragraph)

• Adaptable: Character has half the malus from the "Heat" and "Cold" modifiers. (Did you know that more european colonists died in africa than in america from diseases, because we were so stupid and settled where we would settle at rivers and shit, but thing was that are the regions in africa where you are most likely to get some mosquito to bite you so bad idea on the Europeans part, but alas we still somehow managed to subdue them so I guess not totally incomeptent, of)
• Human-Realm: If Character is caught for a crime against a non-human-NPC or PC in a Human-controlled territory half the usual time spent in prison area or half the usual amount of fine to pay (<This comment was even to bad for the author so he deleted it before typing it>, you)
• Female-Human: If Character is in PC of straight or lesbian NPC or PC get an +2 CHA towards that Character (<This comment was disabled by the authors sister because she hit him over the head with his laptop>, tied)

###Class Abilities### (Still not sure how I will ever fit some 'Glass Abilities' in here, but I will find a way and a reason, maybe a silicoid, could try that yeah, think brain think, up)

• Fire-Arrow: Fires a flaming projectile at a target, adds 10 DMG/hit and 1 DMG/min to target, hitchance is reduced by a quarter(Who dosen't love the smell of napalm in the morning, well I guess the vietcong didn't, hippies too probably but alas maybe they wanted to smoke it not use it to burn down plants, oh wait a minute, now I know what the us army did over there they were all just smoking shit - and everyone getting angry at this, I did not say why or what they smoked, and)
• Explosive-Arrow: Fires a exploding projectile, adds 20 DMG/hit, hitchance is halfed, target might be knocked back (so you know the greek fire that the ancients used - not the stargate ones, the real ones - is to this day a mystery how they mixed it, is that not cool? I mean come on they had flamethrowers before anyone else and we just kind of forgot how to use them, that is so typically stupid humans, masturbating)
• Net-throw: Target becomes entangeld by net, giving it the 'captured' debuff and the 'easier to pet' debuff (Okay the second one is a lie, I just wanted to add it because, pet sounds nice, I would like to have one, but no my sister is not a pet, thanks dad why didn't you train her right, fuckin useless, to)
• Single-shot: Instantly kill a target, hitchance increased for 1% per previous hit, hitchance at 1% of normal hitchance (so maybe I have to rethink this whole overpowerd thing and so on, but this kind of seems alright I guess sort of maybe I don't know I am not a programmer, I am just a guy with a boner and a jerkoff-stamina for two hours which is a bloody pain in the a..., no in the dick, pain in the dick, my)

###Modifiers### (So I did: Mario and Luigi, well not at the same time, both are fucking jelous dudes, but I think next up is this girl Daisy, maybe she can tell me how to get into bowsers - I never knew how to write his name - pants, stories)

• Long-Term-Corruption Phase 1: Your character has been in the party of a Shadowcreature for a prolonged time, all amounts increased by Shadow-Corruption are increased by 1, Adds shadowdamage modifier to all your attacks, if your Character looses half health add 5 to all stats of all shadowcreatures in range(I thought long about this, but it also made sense, sort of for me that this was going on if I think what the shade actually is, well I didn't tell you yet, oh, patience children, I have a plan, well maybe, sort of, anyway lets continue, you)
• Shadow-Corruption: Your Character is in a group with a Shadow-Creature. Reduces APP by 5, Reduces CHA by 5, Increases MP by 10, Character becomes 'Corrupted'. Double Damage from Holy Attacks, Double Damage from Holy Weapons, Healed by Shadow Magic, Healed by Shadow Weapons (Is there even a point in mentioning these? Well yes of course there is the comment to add to it, little)
• Corrupted: Your Character is attacked by HOLY NPCs if face is in appearance in PC, Your Character is attacked by NOBLE NPCs if face is in appearance in PC, NOBLE and HOLY Player Characters get the 'Something-Evil-Modifier' if face is in appearance in PC (<This comment was too corrupted to be presented to the reader>, slutty)
• Shadowbound: Your Character offered submission to a Shadowcreature, That precise Shadowcreature gets CHA+Character CHA, WIS+Character CHA, also Your Character is unable to harm said Creature, as well as will protect said Creature (But alas neither does the politic of france, surrender, surrender, surrender and we are back to the memes, bitches!, pet)

So, well yes I was thinking, erm, if you are a guy that subliminal message wasn't for you so please dear god don't follow it, for you I have another one soon, if I deign you worthy that is and something else too, well now I forgot it was something important but I forgot, well shit, anyway guys see you soon and stuff when we follow the story of a viruuus, erm a shadowinvasion again - damn I told to much, damn