Someone comes by, eager for mayhem

“Good, he’s out~” Ephestus heard whispering near the open door. Looking over, she saw a woman sneak into the room, looking around suspiciously. Ephestus would say she was a tall woman, but that would be ironic considering her own circumstances.

The brunette stood on what looked like a fusion of high heels and tennis shoes, tucked on the end of two long shapely legs clad in thigh-highs. Traveling upwards from there, Ephestus can see from the low angle of the table, she wasn’t wearing any panties under that tiny pleated skirt she wore, which matched the tank top in its pink and black colors and lack of under-apparel, as she could also see how her sizable perky chest lifted the tiny thing to create some underboob if one were to view her a certain way like Ephestus is. Even without her quite lovely bosom, you can tell the top wasn’t even close to covering her slim waist. Though Ephestus found it odd why she would demean herself with the words written on the front as ‘HUGE BITCH’.

Tying up her long silky chestnut hair into a ponytail was a large girly bow, once again, in-theme with her colors. Around each of her wrists were what Ephestus thought at first were pom poms, but were actually wristbands that poofed out and styled themselves as pom poms rather than the actual thing, no doubt she could still operate things while keeping her aesthetic of slutty cheerleader, but for all intents and purposes on their size and sounds, they may as well just be what they’re emulating.

With a sudden glance, the woman was looking right at Ephestus. Or at least, right at the table, as she smirked and strode her way to Randalmiser’s screen.

“Randal’s got a playdate, huh?” She snidely remarks, “Let’s see what kind of game he’s got brewing for this little toy of his then~”

Ephestus fumed, “Toy?! Do you not know who I am, young lady? I am-!” But the woman flicked her wrist, sending the pom pom on that wrist ruffling, and all of a sudden Ephestus couldn’t utter another word, instead being muffled behind a goofy grin.

“Yeah, I don’t care, you stupid toy. If you couldn’t tell, I’m Sewindelle, the daughter of Lady Luck, and I’m not the type to care about women like you talking back to me, tiny or otherwise.”

Ehpestus kept grunting through her teeth, angrily flailing her sword about. Sewindelle was unimpressed, “Look, you’ll get to talk again when I leave, okay? For now, let me screw up this nerd’s campaign.”

A fluttering of papers was heard from behind the GM screen, along with the audible click of a pen. “Let’s see…Pff, well that’s a lame twist, he was going to make you the Princess that needed rescuing at the end of the dungeon. Well, that’s boring, let’s change it up a little~”

Ephestus groaned, figuring something like that might be the case. “Yeah, you’re right, a little would be too nice towards you and him, how about a lot of changes!” Sewindelle was making loud scratching noises, like the sounds of rapidly writing over and over, only pausing to flip the page. “Aaand, done~” Sewindelle cooed, standing up and planting her butt onto the bed.

A minute later, “SUE! Get out of my room!” was heard yelling from the doorway.

Randalmiser looked furious, glowing eyes now a rich red as he gripped his hands against the doorframe and a bag of chips. Sewindelle scowled and merely shrugged, “I told you not to call me that! And besides, you’re the one that left the door open, Randal.”

Randalmiser huffed, making the motion of tossing the chips onto his bed and rolling up his sleeves, but seemed only for show, as then he was holding several glowing red icosahedrons between his fingers. “Leave now, you cheerleader bitch.” He threatened.

This served to agitate Sewindelle a good deal, making her stomp to her feet and pluck a strand from one of her pom poms. Said strand extended out, twisting and extending until it became a leather whip wrapped around her arm like a snake. “And whose fault do you think that is that I’m dressed like one, huh?!”

“Oh I don’t know, that tailor professional student in your class? Denim?”

Sewindelle whipped the ground in frustration, “His name is Dhenime, and I had a damn good thing going until you told him about me and Charles!”

Now it was Randalmiser’s turn to be smug, “Oh yes, right, because you only saw him as a good source of fashionable clothes. Which you then use to entice Charles into screwing your brains out in the locker room after he worked up a good deal of aggression from Godball. That’s like some real weird form of cucking, you know that?”

The more her brother talked, the more Sewindelle was turning red in the face, but it seems that he wasn’t done, “And you say that like I was the one responsible. I was doing the sensible thing and warning him ‘Hey dude, remember what godly field she’s aspiring into, she’s the Goddess of Cheating.’ And he just shrugged me off. It was him that managed to sneak into your room’s window that night and caught both of you enacting Loki and the workhorse on your bed. Honestly, I’m surprised that you still got Charles on your leash, but then again…”

He paused for effect as he dropped one of the glowing dice nonchalantly, right as the seething sister was tensing her hands like claws and foam nearly coming out of her mouth, “Looking like that, I’m sure he doesn’t mind you’re stuck like some Godball players’ fantasy cocksleeve~”

And at that moment, Sewindelle lunged, clawing the air where only the figment image of Randalmiser was, as the wizard poofed towards where his dice landed, and throwing another die towards the door, a **** propelling outwards from the die and slamming door behind the flying cheerleader the moment she hit the hallway wall.

Screams and sounds of roaring thunder snapping suddenly could be heard from the other side of that door. “Heh, hell hath no fury like a bitch getting called out for her dirty schemes.” He mocked, “Ah well, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. She really ought to know better.”

Ephestus having to stand there and watch all this made the mental note to continue to never have kids.

“Well, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get back to the game.” Randalmiser took his seat and shuffled his papers, clearing his throat before Ephestus felt her vision blink back to the middle of the dungeons’ entryway. She sighed, annoyed that she still has to put up with this, figuring she won’t even bother telling him of the sabotage.

[The tunnel stretched out before you is dark and foreboding, an audible drip is heard in the distance, no doubt waterlogged by a lack of use. Raising your blazing sword, you trudge on with it as your guiding light, and paying attention for traps.]

Ephestus rolled her eyes as she refocused them to do just that, poking and prodding with the blade at any odd-looking crack or seam in the tiling as she went. Through the small tunnel she went, turning here and there at branches, until she actually spotted a door.

[The door was seemingly oaken in appearance, and looked to be more grown into the shape of a door than actually being carpented, as the roots can be seen on one side, seemingly to function as a set of hinges. On the front are the elegant curves and swirls of some kind of writing,]

Clack, clack clack.

[However, your Linguistics is very poor, unable to even tell what the language even is.]

Ephestus sighed, no doubt recognizing that not playing along was going to somehow get her to enter the room anyway, so she reached for the door, pushing against it. There was some resistance, but it seems that the door was very heavy, and determined to swing back closed. Ephestus remembered of her current lack of strength, and sheathed her sword so that she could push with both her noodly arms to get the door open.

The door relented after some great strain from Ephestus, and she managed to squeeze through the gap that was created from the exertion, the oak door swinging back closed, waving slightly back and forth like a saloon door.

[Before you, you behold a great…fairy saloon?]

A sound of rustling papers was heard in Ephestus’s head as she too wondered what that meant, even as she was actively looking at it. But weirdly, despite knowing what she was seeing, she couldn’t parse it beyond that specific descriptor. Does Randalmiser need to describe it or something?

[No, that’s correct, a saloon for fae folk. Huh, I swear I didn’t write this, it just doesn’t fit…But hey, it’s in my notes, so I guess we’re rolling with it.]

[In the room is in fact a full-on fairy saloon. Styled after a wild west type of bar, there were tables and chairs of simple furniture scattered here and there, and a few more tables and chairs on top of those scaled down, as seen by a few of the cowgirl-outfit-clad butterfly-winged patrons playing cards at a table or two, on the other side a few patrons glaring hopefully at a spinning wheel set in the table.]

“And I tribute these three here to Link Summon Weather Painter Moonbow to my Extra Monster Zone.” Said one with gaudy pink and green hair done up in elaborate weaving, tiny cowboy hat on her not-as-tiny-but-still-small head tilted at a jaunty angle.

“Dabo!!” The woman managing the spinning wheel table cried, her sizable bust bouncing delightfully in her flashy red cabaret style dress, the others at that table cheering as well.

[...Clearly games of outlandish design that nobody can parse. Anyway, The saloon was also being serenaded by a ragtime piano in the corner, the centaur in the fancy suit and top hat tickling the ivories with white gloved fingers to make it sing a rendition of Turkey in the Straw. And at the end of the room, front and center is a delightful bar, with stools that appear nice and comfy to sit upon as a patron gazes lazily along the colorful bottles and tinctures on the wall behind the bartender, who seems to be in high spirits. No, sorry, I read that wrong, who seems to be a high spirit, the white sheet ghost in a bowler hat having red eyes, a dopey smile and somehow a blush on its face as it shakes around a tumbler of some unknown intoxicant before pouring them out for a couple fairies on the corner of the bar.]

Ephestus was very confused at the scenery, but on a minor note of finding it weird on the inconsistency, as she assumed that Randlamiser was doing the voices for the characters, and yet he didn’t hear any similar intonation in their voices. Maybe because it’s part of the alterations?

She shrugs and goes over to the bar. She may as well get a drink to calm her nerves from today’s ordeal, even if it might be synthetic or something.

Walking over to the bar, she sat her plush posterior down in the equally plush barstool, a look of disdain for what’s happening today clear on her face. The ghost floated over to her position at the counter, leaning a sheet-covered elbow at the bar as he flicked the brim of his hat, “Howdy, purdy lady~” The ghost growled in Randalmiser’s interpretation of a western accent. That answered that query right away, he’s just doing male voices.

“What’s a mighty fine drink of water like you doin’ in my quaint li’l bar all the way out here?” Ephestus coughed at the spirit’s attempt at flattery, waving away the weed smoke coming off of his breath as she responded.

“Cough W-well apparently I’m here to rescue a princess, but I guess I’ll take a drink before I continue. Anything you got that’s potent but not get me too drunk.”

“Yes ma’am, one Bwomf Light coming right up!” He acknowledged with a tip of his bowler before zipping at rapid speeds to numerous bottles on the wall, a white blur taking bottles and glasses and mixing at lightning speeds before just as quickly replacing the bottles and a shot glass of liquid steadying itself on the counter before Ephestus, much to her surprise.

“Sorry it took long, darlin’, I forgot where I put the womandrake root juice.”

“N-no problem.” She responded uneasily. She took a look at the fluid as she lifted the glass between two fingers. It was a colorful bubbly mixture, like a carbonated upside down sunset, a gradient of crystal clear red stretching down to an opaque yellow. It actually looked quite appetizing, probably something like a fruity beverage. Honestly, it’s probably more fancy than anything she’d normally drink, sticking to typical mead or ceremonial battle drinks and enhancement potions. Well it’s probably going to go down smoother than my last drink, she internally jokes to herself.

Since it was a shot glass, she slung it back, tipping her head backwards to get it down her gullet. Putting it back on the bar with a light thunk, she sighed as she evaluated the bubbly concoction. Sort of a pineapple kind of taste with a cherry aftertaste, but also something spicy as an undertone. Overall not a drink she’d order again, but still palatable.

[Umm, okay then.]

Clack, clack clack.

[According to my note- I mean, according to your stomach, it seems that the drink wasn’t anything ordinary. As not because your stomach is rumbling or anything, you just didn’t feel the liquid hit bottom,and instead weirdly is at a midpoint in your chest. Turns out it may have been some kind of potion, as the effects begin setting root in your bosom.]

As Randalmiser stated, Ephestus felt her chest begin to rumble, her boobs shaking lightly until…

BWOMF!

Her boobs expanded greatly in a sudden burst, slamming onto the top of the counter and sending the shot glass shooting off through the spirit bartender harmlessly and smashing it into the shelf at top speed. Speaking of top, the bandages that were supposed to hold her chest snapped completely, leaving her bare chested with big round jiggly mounds resting on the counter.

Lifting herself up to assess the damage, she noted how her boobs just sort of floated there on her chest with nary a strain on her back nor balance. She suddenly realized, oh right, it was a light drink, meaning her chest was light as a feather.

The bartender coughed, trying to get the barbarian with the big boobs’ attention. “Beggin’ your pardon, miss, but while I do say yer jugs do be downright delightful, I’m afraid that we don’t allow such indecency in the bar. If y’ain’t got a shirt, y’all best be paying for your drink and leavin’.”

Ephestus grumbled angrily, before replying, “Well how was I supposed to know that drink was going to give me such massive tits! You better come up with a new drink to reverse this or else I’ll-!”

The moment that Ephestus reached for her sword, the whole room went silent, everyone standing and flying up, pointing various implements at her that looked to be typical toy wands with stars and hearts on the end of them, mounted on revolver grips where the barrel should be. Even the centaur pianist joined in, holding aloft a sawed off shotgun pulled from under the piano’s lid, though the barrels were replaced by a pair of jeweled staff heads mounted beside each other.

The two black-hatted fairies that had their drink served at the end of the bar, each brandishing their own wandvolvers at her, warned her in a gritty tone of voice in unison, “We don’t take kindly to threats around here. You better have the cash, or you’re gonna find yourself some freaky sex toy upstairs in the brothel rooms.”

Ephestus, not one to take threats well, growled, before reaching around to the other side of her belt to get to her money pouch. This seemed to have the desired effect, as everyone slowly began lowering their weapons, but not stowing them away. With a cocky smirk, she grabbed the belt and twisted it around with one hand, allowing her other hand to slide out the flaming blade from its scabbard from behind her instead, and lunged at the black hat twins first.

The centaur piano player elbowed the piano which then began playing furiously on its own as a backing track to the carnage, and joined in the firefight. The spells shot forth like fireworks being lit in a small barn, there were sparklers being shot every which way to try and hit the now nimble barbarian that was cutting her targets down with ease, flames engulfing those that managed to even so much get grazed as she danced around the magic bullets, even with her massive chest bobbling around from her dance of **** did she avoid the patrons’ nearly endless barrage.

Soon enough, the lights began to dim as fewer and fewer shots were being made. The only clean shot that hit her was that of the centaur whinnying and leaping over Ephestus’s head and getting a good shot from the overhead position, double barrels right to the cranium. Clack, clack clack. But nothing obvious happened to her to stop her swinging, as she cleaved the horse in two, leaving him with two legs and a flaming waist as his arc made him fling himself into a nearby horse water trough to put himself out.

The ghost meanwhile was just acting casual about the whole thing, and slipped under the counter, pulling out a small rolled up bundle of herbs and spices, holding out so that its end got nicked by a swipe of the barbarians’ blade, lighting it up as the sheet ghost took a huge drag of the cigarette. “Oh, Kentucky Fried Cannabis, how I need your finger-licking goodness right now.” He sighs.

In the end, the God of War proved herself once again victorious in a fight of innumerable odds and a bloodlust finally sated of not killing for a while. Raising her sword as she reached the end of the room to exit the way she came, she declared, “Let it be known that you were slain for your insolent thoughts that you could ever take on the mighty Boobarina the Cocksucker!”

She blushed, putting her free hand over her mouth before she wheeled around and shoulder barged the doorway, flinging her back into the dungeon corridor.

As she left, there was a long silence, the ghost puffing away before he let out a large cloud of smoke that permeated the room in a dense fog. All of a sudden, pieces of broken and charred body began zipping together, restitching and healing back into place. The half-a-horse walked itself back to the rear that was arching over the water trough, human half submerged suddenly breaching with a long gasp. “Well, that bimbo was awfully rude, wouldn’t you say?” He muttered as he trotted to the spot where he dropped his top hat. There was a mutual groan of agreement from the patrons as they went back to what they were doing, and occasionally helped to repair the place.

The ghost merely breathed out a puff and said, “Eh, when you’ve been in Randalmiser’s afterlife for long enough, you tend to get all kinds of colorful characters, sometimes even be them. You get used to it.”

Outside of that weird room, Boobarina stumbled to her feet, wondering what she just called herself. She tried saying her name out loud, “Boobarina…No, dammit!” She complained, realizing she can’t even think of her name anymore, let alone say it. The frustrated stomp reminded her of a second issue, the constant bouncing of her tits. She tried salvaging what she could of the bandages, not seeing any way to cover up meaningfully, and decided to try and find something as she goes, going bare chested for a while wouldn’t hurt.

Boobarina then realized, along with the revelation of only hearing her new title in her head whenever she tried referring to herself, that she got hit twice in that firefight, that shotgun hit both slugs into her. So what was the second thing? she wondered.

Clack, clack clack.

[Now after the heat of battle has finished, you realize the second effect in the corner of your eye, the flickering of your blade’s glow showing your shadow to be wholly different.]

Boobarina looked over at the wall and indeed saw what changed with her shadow. It was a rough approximation of her still, but was very much not emulating her at all. Like there are impressions of eyes and mouth cut out of the darkness, making it almost a cartoony depiction, especially on how it stretched and warped around as if it were its own entity.

“Oh great,” Boobarina said out loud, “And what’s your deal?” The shadow playfully shrugs and sticks its tongue out at Boobarina, making some really lewd gestures her way, such as mocking her huge chest by shaking hers back and forth, making a mock orgasmic expression.

“Oh, I see, you’re here to be an annoyance…” And the shadow responded with two thumbs up, before then making those thumbs up look like jerking motions rubbing a couple of phallic shapes into her own face, having a dopey look as her expression.

Boobarina grunted and moved on, hoping the shadow didn't do anything else but mock her. She kept doing the same routine as last time, checking for suspicious angles, weird tiles, oddly placed pieces of rubble, but this time with her paranoia now making her glance at her shadow more, and each time she was presented to some lewd act that she was being taunted by. She hated this, especially since most of the taunts were of her massive boobs being bare. Swords strikes to the wall they were on only made them flicker to the other wall. Because of course it did, she’s striking with the dang lightsource. She really hopes that at some point she can encounter some actual clothing.

Sure enough, another door revealed itself to her, this one at a dead end, so it’s likely that she has to pass this way to continue onwards.

[The door was a mighty bulwark of riveted iron, dull gray illuminated by the torch, but nary a glimmer, save for a rust spot here and there, though the engraving of a…some kind of whiskered animal? Yes, a simplistic seal head design on a shield icon appears engraved into the metal around eye level. In the middle of the mighty panel of metal is a turning wheel. Upon checking it with a quick rattle it seems to be well oiled and turns smoothly. Could this be some kind of vault, you wonder.]

Boobarina wasn’t wondering this, and if the last door was any indication, could be something completely alien and not in fact a vault. Still, she would kick herself for not checking it and then going through the whole dungeon only for that to be the actual way out, so she began turning the wheel. The shadow pouted as she faded into the darkness, annoyed as the light went out from her sheathing her sword to use both hands.

Winding the wheel, the door sounded out a loud THUNK and swung outwards without resistance, filling the corridor with an artificial white light. Boobarina’s eyes readjusted to the new lighting conditions and stepped forth into what looked to be a metal container. The door swung shut behind her.

Looking around, Boobarina saw that she was inside the sleeping quarters of a submarine. A typical design for one that you would see in old wartime movies and such, with bunk beds lining the walls and another door across from her. The bunks did seem awfully small, and some had some personal effects strewn around. One seemed to like stamps. A lot, as their wall is absolutely plastered with them, another was a big baseball nerd, as there was a baseball and bat on the sheets, another seemed to be into golfing, as a set of golf clubs was tucked into bed as if letting them sleep.

Boobarina didn’t figure any of these useful as walked over to the door, but before she got there she noticed the door opening itself, her stride stopping midway as a result. Seems like someone was coming in. She braced herself for whomever it may be.

The door swung open right as Boobrania’s hands reached for the sword grip, and revealed that she needed to look down more than she expected to. Standing there, comically balanced on their back tail, was a three foot tall baby seal. The creature was wearing a tiny sailors’ uniform, blue shirt with large collar, red handkerchief tied around the neck, and a beret on its tiny white head, a head which was wearing an adorable little scowl.

Boobarina was more amused than intimidated as it likely wanted to display, what with its flipper arms on its hips, nor smitten by the cuteness like the shadow currently displaying heart eyes cut out of its darkness on the nearby wall.

It spoke up, revealing the squeaky tone of voice it spoke in; or rather, Randalmiser’s voice putting on a babyish sounding tone, made it seem all the more juvenile despite the words it was saying, “Awight, pwivate! I was wawned dat we took on a new cwew memba today, and you’z look to be dem! Dey told me dat dey wew a diffewent species, but I didn’t expect dis! And not even in unifowm in dah middle of deh day! Get dwessed pwivate, on dah double!”

After a minute of nothing, Boobarina let down her guard, belting out in raucous laughter. This only seemed to make the seal seethe in adorable fury. This laughter went on for an uncomfortable two minutes before Boobarina wiped a tear from her eye, “Me? Listen to you? You must be joking.”

This seemed to be the last straw for the seal commander, as it placed a flipper down the top of its uniform and pulled out a red whistle. Now, while Boobarina wasn’t intimidated by such a tiny thing, the potential of having something stranger or bigger show up at the alert of the whistle was a different story, so she motioned to draw her sword, but not in time as the seal managed to blow the whistle.

[The noise of the whistle was that of only air being blown out. It seems that the whistle lacked an actual bead for it to actually report. However, the moment you attempt to draw your blade and…slay the adorable scamp, you find yourself paralyzed, and standing at attention, saluting as you do.]

Boobarina gasps, her body failing to obey her as she’s **** into the pose, unable to wriggle free of whatever was binding her into saluting the tiny creature. The position made her more keenly aware of her nakedness as she felt her still massive chest bounce up and down for a few seconds at the sudden jerky snap her body did to stand at attention.

The seal nodded in approval, “Good, now dat you’z obeying dah sowdiah whistle, you get youwsewf into unifowm, missy!” And blew the whistle again.

Boobarina’s body instantly snapped into action, robotically moving to one of the beds that had a folded up uniform on it. Her body shed the remainder of her clothes, placing the scabbard with the flaming sword against the door she came in, as the rest were thrown across the room, belt, coin purse, boots, panties, all stripped of her, leaving her fully naked.

Her shadow on the wall did some wolf whistles as she made googly eyes at Boobarina’s form, which led Boobarina to growl in annoyance in-kind as her body proceeded putting on the uniform. Boobarina wasn’t going to point out to herself on how it was weird that they got her size, what with the ship being commanded by an animal and likely other animals, but this was just a part of the random alterations, she figures, so not worth really questioning.

Upon finishing dressing, the whistle blew again, and she marched forwards back to the middle of the room for inspection, saluting once again.

The outfit consisted of a navy blue shoulderless swimsuit, clinging tight to her body and creating quite the embarrassing cameltoe and nipples protruding through the fabric that is barely containing her huge tits. Around the leg holes and top portion were thick frills, reminding one of the seafoam that rolls on a wave. Around her neck was a little cape that mimicked a sailor hood and scarf, and paired with the matching beret sitting daintily on her head. Covering her arms were a pair of rubbery elbow length gloves with the seafoam trim, along with the knee-high boots she wore having the same trimmings, with a chunky high heel to them to make her stand on her toes.

Boobarina blushed angrily and looked away from the prying eyes of the tiny creature’s inspection, as it hopped over on its fin and started slapping at her ass and tits, judging the rampant bouncing both were doing.

“Vewy good, pwivate! Now, wet’s see you wahm up befow you do youh duties! Beginning wid some push ups!” The little beast whistled the control whistle again, and Boobarina’s body immediately went to work.

She fell to the floor, bowing towards the creature, shapely legs stretched behind her as she proceeded to lift her torso off the floor, boobs squeezing alluringly against the floor of the submarine, each time Boobarina **** to bark out a number, “One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six!-” And on she went with that pattern. Such a task is normally trivial to her, but it seems with the draining of strength earlier, she was starting to break a sweat, smooth skin starting to glisten.

Finally, at the call of “One hundred!” Boobarina collapsed exhausted, feeling aware of her massive mammaries pressing against her chin as they squeezed against her collapsed form.

The seal clapped its fins and laughed at her exhaustion. “Aur aur aur! Wondahful! Now, how about some Jogging pwace?” Another report of the whistle, and Boobarina’s body decided it had no time to rest as it pushed itself up once again.

Her body began jogging in place, hands clenched into fists as her arms bent forwards at her side, swinging them back and forth as she began some high-knee jogs. The noticeable jiggle from her booty was beginning to eat the bottom of her swimsuit, and boobs basically just sprang out of her top and began flopping around weightlessly at the energetic jog. The shadow was having a raucous laughter at her expense, pointing and bellowing out mute guffaws and giggles.

Another round of five minutes into the routine, her body decided that was enough and collapsed into a heap, gasping. Another set of applause from the seal, now obviously delighting itself at her misery. Boobarina was furious, but she did know the feeling from her experience commanding her troops. “Aur! Dewightful! Now, don’t west up yet, we stiw need to do some jumpin’ ja-” But as it was about to announce a new exercise, it was distracted by the clacking of something running towards them in the hall.

“Rivate Roger, rerorting ror ruty! Rorry ri’m rate! RI reft ry runiform rin ry rabin runk!” barked a basset hound in a trench coat as it bounded from around the corner, using a front paw to salute. This made the seal pause. “Wait, if you’z is dah pwivate I was supposed to discipwine, den who’s di-?”

Clack, clack clack. [And that’s a successful attack roll.]

The seal did not get to finish its sentence before it went flying into the blackness of the unlit corridor behind it, caused by a very angry Boobarina gasping for breath and holding a four-wood club. If she could catch her breath, she’d remark that this reminded her of a very fun pastime of hers back in her navy days that most considered unsavory. The shadow is most people it seems, as it made some disapproving motions, and several hands flipping the bird her way.

The dog yelped in surprise and skittered into the blackness to see if their commander was okay, while Boobarina took the distraction time to stumble out from the room and fall through the door back to the dungeon. Making sure the sword fell through with her, she closed the door and resealed the bolts with a spin of the wheel.

Well great, all that served was to get her a golf club and a new humiliating outfit. I mean, she did think she needed clothes, but this…

Retucking her boobs that jostled out from the jog back into their uniform, she tried throwing off the unnecessary parts, starting with the beret.

[For Me’s sake, what’s going on with my campaign- oh right, just a sec, uhh…Oh, here it is, unfortunately for you, the clothing seems immovable, as the beret remains stuck to your head no matter how much you tug.]

Boobarina grunted in frustration and let it be, restrapping the sword belt to her waist, but noting that her coin purse seemed to have slipped off. She rolled her eyes and redrew her sword, letting the light shine into the corridor once again. The shadow playfully pretended like it was in the middle of dressing and hid itself, giving a cheeky smile that read as “Oh you cheeky pervert~”

Boobarina chose to ignore this comical gesture and went back to walking, slinging the golf club onto her shoulder. This time, she wasn’t taking any chances, no more odd doors, no more zany happenings, just straight to the nearest open room that matched the dungeon.

The trek went on, twisting and turning in ridiculous angles where she’s pretty sure she should’ve doubled back onto herself by now. Nonetheless, onward she went, trudging along despite the exhaustion she was experiencing after that involuntary workout. Eventually, she found her way through to an open room.

[Sigh, in this room you find…The walls covered in spikes, all seemingly glowing red with intense heat, oh okay, that’s the same. But those aren’t the threat you spot immediately, as they are too spaced out in such a large room. Oh…There it is…The threat is actually the numerous balloons that are all bunched together, forming a dense jungle of strings making you barely able to tell that there is a big set of doors behind the thousands of rubber floating decorations…Okay, I’m DAMN sure this was supposed to be a Water Elemental Swarm fight.]

Boobarina sneered at the sight of the buoyant pastel orbs resting about three feet above her, wondering if this was some kind of joke. Well, it was no consequence, if it was a trap, then so be it, she’ll check what it is. Prodding one of the strings with the golf club. Nothing immediately happened as it bumped against other balloons, so she hooked one of them by the string and pulled it towards her to inspect it.

Curious, it was like something was swimming just under the surface of it, seeing the outline of words swirling around like flies through the translucent material. This balloon seemed to have the words, “How to cook pasta.”

Doesn’t seem all that harmful, she posits mentally. With the sword, she pokes at the plastic, and it bursts instantly. The words that were inside also popped the moment they became fully visible. Nothing actually happened it seems.

“Hmm…If it had some text like that, it must have some meaning…” She says aloud, “Perhaps it’s some kind of knowledge bank. Though why anyone would want to store away the thought of cooking pasta is ridiculous, it’s dead easy, all you do is-”

But Boobarina couldn’t finish that thought. Did you fry them? No, that can’t be it. Put them in the toaster, that’s it. No it’s not, that doesn’t make sense.

And then she realized. She just lost that particular memory of how to cook pasta. That in itself isn’t too stressful, she was more of a potato and flesh-of-my-enemies fan anyway, but it’s the fact that these balloons held the memories of how to do stuff was worrying, as she now paid attention on how dangerously close both the heated wall and ceiling spikes were to them. If too many of them popped, who knows how much info she’d lose.

“So there’s the challenge.” She realized. “Because there’s so many potential thoughts, you can’t be sure on what you’re going to lose if you decide to rush headlong through carelessly, and may lose something important.”

[Yeah, I’m still pretty sure that’s not mine, but that’s still pretty clever of a trap, I must admit.]

Boobarian sighed, and pondered what to do. She looked around for anything that might help, only seeing the shadow seemingly bored, taking a nap next to the corridor she came in through. Wait, the hallway!

On a hunch, Boobarina sets down the club and fishes down another balloon with her free hand, seeing it as “What a fish is” and casually cutting the string with the sword. The string smoldered a little, but otherwise the balloon was just fine. She still knew what a fish was. Then, she moved the balloon towards the corridor, and let it float to the top of that ceiling. No pop.

With that confirmation, her plan was a likely success, so she grinned and began gathering bunches of the balloons, swiping them and shoving them down the corridor, the floating decorations traveling easily as she pushed more in. She did this for a long while, grab, cut, corridor, push, grab. This continued until she finally had a clear path to the large set of double doors. Pushing the remainder of the balloons through the corridor, the moment she turned around to go down the path, something awful sounded out. Something distant, but definitely familiar-sounding.

POP!

Looking back at the balloons, they should’ve been fine, yet she heard a pop for sure.

POP!

Another one, this time for sure she knew. But how could that be, they stopped moving, and there was nothing pointy in the corridor to make them pop. Taking a sniff in annoyance, there was a familiar scent. Burning.

Just in time, she saw that on one of the nearest balloons was a trail of smoke, coming from the end of the balloon string. She licked her fingers and pinched it, and it gave off a sizzle noise. Yup, it was still an active burn.

POP!

Oh no. She looked at her sword again, and smacked her forehead with her free hand. Idiot! She was using a flaming sword! She just made potentially an unknown amount of thought balloons into timed grenades by turning their strings into fuses!

POP!POP!POP!

The noise was making her panic, who knows what she’s now losing inside her mind now, perhaps if she gets out of the room, she can prevent being affected by any more pops! She rushed to the door, a girly mince in her stride as she raised her hands to her shoulders daintily in her stride while trying to stay within the path she made for herself to avoid popping any of the side balloons. Wait, this isn’t how you run, I should be by the door by now! Dammit, I forgot how running works!

The rush to the door went on, slow pace despite her legs’ hustle. And the pops kept coming, one after another as she ran to get out of earshot.

POP!POP!POP!POP!POP!POP!POP!POP!POP!POP!

Eventually, she made it to the door. Gasping, she saw the brass ring handles on the door and began to pull with all her might. The big steel double doors pulled achingly slowly, grinding noises from the stone tiles beneath them couldn’t drown out further popping sounds.

Finally, there was a gap big enough to throw herself into the room. Doing so, she just narrowly squeezes in before the door flings her forward as they close automatically, managing to snag the sword scabbard and cut it off of her person, leaving it in the balloon room. But the moment she was in the room, and crumpled on the floor, no more popping was heard.

She sighs, and stands back up, relieved to finally be out of the room, but frustrated that she potentially lost so many thoughts and memories in the process. Looking around at the new room, there was one loud bang, as party poppers went off, and out of reflex after that ordeal, Boobarina stumbled back before catching herself as confetti rained around her.

[Around you looks to be a throne room, with all manner of decorations for a party, cake, pinatas, presents, even a big banner strewn over the elaborate golden throne reading, “Randal sucks di-” Alright, that’s it!]

Boobarina was startled back to the table perception as Randalmiser slams his hands on the table furiously, making the base that Boobarina was standing on rattle around in place.

“That bitch Sue fucked up my game!” He stood up violently, knocking over his chair and almost losing his hat as he rushed to his door to confront his sister. Over his shoulder as he was about to turn the door handle, he said, “Alright, session’s over, you can go now.”

And just like that, Boobarina found the world warp around her as she slipped out of that dimension, and back at her home base; A red pavilion tent used for strategy planning,and the sounds of constant battles going on from outside the tent, the grass of the hill in this place was dyed red with blood.

She sighed, relieved as she slumped onto the war map table. Ahh, she may not often go back to her own reality, but sometimes the comforts of home can’t be beat.

She was so happy to finally be freed of that stupid game, now she could get back to doing something productive, like invading more worlds! After such a bust that this turned out to be, she figured she earned herself a treat of an easy world to demolish.

Looking down at her chest as she leaned over her table, she realized there was a more obvious thing to do. “Alright, back to my old self!” She said as she…she…

She forgot how to turn herself back.

“Well, this is going to take a while to relearn.” She didn’t say to herself. Instead she filled the void between worlds with a furious scream of rage that almost blew the tent to pieces.

---

A few God Days later, a well-muscled goddess tears open a rift, and finds herself walking into the throne room of a dark and sinister looking place. And at the head of this room, as implied to it being a throne room, was a throne occupied by a fellow goddess, but a goddess of similar stature, she is not.Rika, Goddess of Conflict, crossed her powerful arms over her chest as she looked up to the necromancess goddess sitting casually. “Evanore,” Rika greeted her, “I have come to ask you something.”

A couple of soft clicks sounded out from one of the side doors, along with some hushed mumbling, but it went ignored by the two goddesses, as the two continued with their discussion.

“What is it you want, Rika? I’m busy. If it’s about those damn skull totems that keep cropping up in your latest world, I told you that it wasn’t my doing, your battle tribes you made chose crafting necromantic bone golems themselves.” The goth Goddess of Necromancy questioned, eyes crossed and tongue hanging out of her mouth after she was done speaking, gesturing to a skull-shaped goblet on a pedestal to her side, inside seemed to be a globe. Whatever substance that was in the goblet with that globe was doing some nasty work to it to turn it a sickening purple like that.

Rika didn’t pay the expression her fellow goddess was making any mind, nor commented on the goblet of **** brew that was likely her world that Rika noticed had gone missing. Instead she continued her dignified pose of wrenching up her panties from the front and back, seesawing them into her crotch in rhythm as she continued, “I’ve been searching for Ephestus. By now, he would be tormenting a gods’ world or something, but there have been no reports of any of his misdeeds.”

Another couple of clicks, a ghostly hand barely seen comes into view holding a weird blue remote before a few other spectral hands snatch it back out of sight.

“Look, I haven’t seen him, I heard that he was taking a vacation or something and I’ve been satisfied that he’s not bothering me lately.” Evanore responded, rubbing her nipples on her huge jugs through her playboy bunny costume.

Rika huffed, “Psh, normally his idea of a vacation is assaulting me and my troops of combat, which is why I was wondering where that bastard went. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he’s not harassing me with his usual war and mayhem, but it’s a little concerning that nobody’s heard where he is after so long. The only last recorded report was Wanserou relaying that he was headed to one of Lady Luck’s kids, but Sue remains adamant that she doesn’t know what was going on, and Randal is weirdly avoiding the subject.” She concernedly continues shaking her hips, making her grass skirt rustle and her boobs bounce around in their coconut bra containment.

Another couple of clicks followed by a loud buzzer noise. There was an audible whisper of “What do you mean the trial period has expired?! We barely started! Damn Wanserou!”

Evanore glared at the door where the whisper came from as she stood up, “I’M SUCH A HORNY BITCH! Look, I got some dumbasses to wrangle, go bother Ailuros with your worries or something, maybe that waste of hard drive space Wanserou misheard which Luck Goddess was being invaded again.”

She walked off towards the door, snapping her fingers and blasting it inwards and a bunch of ghostly wails following along with it.

Rika sighed, and nodded, “I LOVE SUCKING COCK! Hmph, fine then, but report if you see him, it’s imperative we keep tabs on that prick. You know what happened in the last sneak attack. I didn’t think ”

Evanore waved her off as they both departed the room, the sounds of a remote making a loud crunch noise and a scream of, “I’M SUCH A HORNY BITCH! YOU THINK PLAYING WITH TOYS YOU TOOK FROM THAT COMPUTER NERD IS FUNNY, DO YOU?” and a gaggle of male voices joined in on the screaming match, but in pain more than fury, reaching Rika’s ears as she merely shrugged and went back to search for that bastard of war.