Shut the door behind me.

I was born somewhere in America, but I don't remember it being a barn. I politely shut the door behind me as I entered the room. Then, I introduced myself: Greetings. My name is H. I. Player. Miss Jessica, I've been invited here as a guest by your family in order to provide my world-famous education services to you. Ordinarily, my fee is extremely steep, the stuff of kings... but, as a personal friend of your family, I've decided to make my first trial visit free of charge. You should consider this a very lucky opportunity.

"Tch! So it was a tutor, huh..." Jessica muttered, unable to hide her disappointment. She tried to whisper to her mother, but with her boyish demeanor, she didn't have a good voice for whispering. I could hear her asking why, today of all days, when all her cousins, aunts, and uncles would be arriving for an annual conference, she had to meet some famous tutor. That's a reasonable question, Jessica. Natsuhi, you're up.

That Natsuhi bristled immediately, showing Jessica an impatient face. Her hands in her lap seemed to be all that was keeping her from raising her voice. "Jessica, Mr. Player has just explained that he has taken time out of his busy schedule to provide you with a trial lesson as a favor to our family. Please, show the expected decorum of a member of the Ushiromiya family in this situation."

Jessica clicked her teeth again but rose, walking across the floor to shake my hand. "Nice to meet ya, Mr. Player," she said after a perfunctory shake. She hadn't warmed to me, but she was at least going to do her best for her mother... Mm! I can hardly write a line about this lovable heroine without feeling my love grow greater. I told Jessica it was a pleasure to meet her, which was an understatement.

"Mr. Player, Jessica is exceedingly grateful for you taking the time to meet with her," Natsuhi apologized on behalf of her daughter, rising from the side of the bed and bowing. "After all, my husband was already telling me about how accomplished you are as a teacher of... Ahem. A teacher of..." she continued, looking like she had one of her famous headaches coming on.

Shit. I had gotten so excited I had forgotten to even flesh out what I was a teacher of. To think, Krauss had let me stroll up here with his wife without filling in that detail! "Make that precocious daughter of mine into a fine lady, however it is you go about doing that!" I could see my mental image of that lovable blockhead encouraging me.

Natsuhi coughed again and shut her eyes, flushing a bit. The silence was getting awkward. Jessica raised an eyebrow. It was pretty obvious and natural for them to expect me to fill in this gaping blank.

Well, now... I'm a teacher of many subjects, I tell them. But, uh... foremost and most of all...