She helps, but it makes things worse.

My best friend eventually stops ogling me and says, "Sorry, Ahab, half-kidding! I'll go get you some help now, just hold Ace's leash."

Reluctantly, I take hold of the tether attached to my friend's adorable beagle—which has been present this whole time, I swear—struggling now to keep my entire penis covered with only one hand free, to my audience's blatant pleasure.

True to her word, Raquel jogs away as fast as her high-heeled leather boots will allow, calling out to our asexual overseer, "Alan! We have an issue! A naked kind of issue!"

I try my darnedest not to watch her incredible, thong-clad ass bounce in time with her strides and fail miserably, regret filling my soul at my lack of self-control. My member hardens partially at the mesmerizing sight, and worse still, Ace begins tugging on the leash, wanting to be closer to her owner; at that point, hiding my cock becomes a Herculean trial.

But like any figure of Greek myth, I find a novel solution to my problem, I may have nothing to hide behind to shield myself from the wide-eyed onlookers, but that doesn't mean I have no one to hide behind.

The aroused Natalie is both massive and unmoving so, tugging on Ace's leash, I shuffle in front of the muscular woman crushing on me; the crowd screams in glee since I have to move my hands to do so, but I do eventually guard myself from their view by placing a hyperventilating coworker between me and the lecherously leering legion of lustful ladies.

I get a chance to catch my breath, still flushed bright red, but a certain little beagle gets antsy. Whining quietly and tippy-tapping her cute little paws, Ace suddenly runs in one direction, and I have to use both hands to brace against it; Natalie, getting another perfect look at my semi-erect dick, covers her mouth and gasps, growing weak in the knees.

That little scamp of a canine tugs at its leash for several seconds before turning and running back the other way, twisting me around with her, giving the hot-Frankenstein-cosplaying Amazonian the deluxe view of my reddened bubble butt, and my friend's breathing hitches once again in arousal, while my crowd of female admirers encroach, trying to get a better angle.

Then, the dog runs around me in rapid circles, her leash cord binding my arms snug against my sides, away from the half-mast penis I'm trying to hide, and snags my thigh-high clad legs together at the knees. Turned to once more face Natalie, I blush, wriggling, and incapable of obscuring my heaving cock or budging either of my arms; I look like one of those classic 50's pin-ups where the lady is tangled up in her dog's leash. The big difference being, I was stuck in that sexy pose totally naked.

I attempt to take solace in that only a single woman present could see me in all my glory, but I didn't want Natalie to see me like this either; I'm blushing profusely again as the giant, well-muscled beauty stares at my penis, which is bouncing around tantalizingly as I wriggle and writhe to escape entanglement. I then notice that Natalie is swaying on her feet, sweating, eyes rolled back in her head; she moans loudly as her giant frame crashes to the ground in a heap, actually fainting at the sight of her crush in the altogether.

I cast my vision from where my muscular friend is collapsed, up to the twenty-seven women who're screaming anew, phones pointed at my nude body, taking myriad compromising, humiliating pictures now that I wasn't hidden by anything or anyone. So I struggle helplessly; blushing, naked, and mortified.