Shakeup at St. Sleeper's Chapel (A Nun's Vs. Knights Story)

Far away from the royal capital, rarely thought of by the people in the larger cities, or even by those of its own faith, there lay a quaint chapel, a short hike removed from a tiny city. The diminutive city had once borne a grander name, something from the demon wars when it was still used as a stop for soldiers, but had jokingly come to be referred to as Headrest-- the few townspeople seemed to hold less sway over the naming of their own town than travelers did. The church was named after St. Sleeper, a paladin of great stature who had been a stalwart sponsor of the church.

Only, these days, most assumed that the church was named for the congregation's favorite activity.

Elsewhere in the continent, a new revolution was taking place: a cultural revolution and sexual awakening ripped through Meridan to the west at a sweat-inducing speed, while the town of Missionaire was rumored to be the birthplace of the next hero who would end the second stage of the demon war in humanity's favor. Headrest and St. Sleeper's Chapel were remarkably removed from all of that. Removed from everything, really. Traders didn't come there. Soldiers didn't stop there for long. Pilgrims had no interest in this small church with few stories of saintly valor. It wasn't a place one went to become closer to Geod, their Father. It was a place where old folks went to retire in a place so small that they would be unbothered by ruffians, demon-kind, or even loud noises. A place of peace for those who wanted it and boredom for those who felt stuck in their lives or otherwise didn't trust the roads.

News didn't travel out of Headrest and it didn't tend to come in, either.

Unbothered by the happenings of the rest of the civilized world, Mother Ave closed out another sermon. What a good one it had been! She had twenty whole congregation members today and only half of them were asleep. That was counting Italiette, the dear lady painting the chapel (awake) and Eva, her sister (asleep), of course, but still, it was the most people she'd seen in attendance for the year.

Although Ave was described as a Mother, that was really just because this place still technically held an order of nuns... even if that only amounted to herself and her younger sister. Her appearance was a bit motherly, as she began the trek down past forty, with platinum blonde hair in a no-nonsense back-bun that was beginning to fade just a bit. She had an eye-catching face, with an angelic smile and vivid hazel eyes, nearly orange apart from brown, but the bachelors of the village had learned long ago to consider her "off-the-table," so to speak. The nuns in Geod's church typically swore a voluntary oath of chastity, chastity-belt and all, and no one was a more devoted nun than Mother Ave. She kept the church and, seemingly, did little else with her spare time, apart from gardening, baking, knitting, and other activities that had been too old for her at twenty when she took over, but felt just about right at her current age.

But outsiders tended to try their hand at her. They did have their reason: her robes concealed the kind of body that, if perhaps a bit chubby due to a sedentary lifestyle and a pronounced sweet-tooth, still sported the sort of generous bosom and buttocks that the church's habits had a hard time hiding. At one point, it was quite clear that the church owed much of its traffic to such travelers. Now, there were none such to see her-- the business had moved elsewhere.

"I thank you all again for being here in the light of Geod for another blessed Sunday. Think well on today's lesson: we must take to heart the words of the late Saint Sleeper, who preached the importance of opening ourselves up to new experiences. Even should you feel weary, you are never too old to heed Geod's call to a new journey. The honorable saint was a man of forty when he first took sword in hand to battle the devil-spawn, you recall! I myself am experimenting with a new candied apple recipe using syrup from the abandoned witch orchard, tee hee! How frightful! I'll be by the town later to deliver samples to your houses. Take care, my children."

The members of the congregation who were not asleep thanked her and left for the day, as long as they were awake to do so. One of the newly awoken thanked her for a good snooze instead. "Oh Gilbert. What are we going to do with you?" she chastised him, chuckling with no hint of ever intending to actually stop him in her words. It was fine if he slept. He just looked so gosh-darn peaceful when he was sleeping!

There was one person Ave did not like to see sleeping: her sister. When the others were all cleared out, apart from the painter and her sister, she grabbed Eva by the shoulders and began to shake her lightly. "Eva! You're setting a terrible example, sleeping in church! You're drooling!" she did her best to scold with a meek voice that couldn't scold a fruit fly.

"Uuuugh... Did we get any tithes or offerings today?"

"We did! A generous blessing of thirty gold coins. I know how much you adore money-- if only you'd be awake, you would have heard it clink into the offering plate. I know that's your favorite noise."

It might sound like Ave was mocking her sister, but she was actually being accurate: that really was Eva's favorite noise.

"Thirty? Oh wow! I can't believe I slept through all that! It must have sounded as though the church-bell was tolling out of hour!" her sister gasped.

It might sound like Eva was mocking her sister, but... okay, yes, she was.

Sister Eva, in her late twenties, was often mistaken for Ave's daughter rather than her biological sister. Her elf-like blond hair was not nearly so faded as her sister's, kept fashionably longer cut, and rarely sported the habit's hood she was supposed to wear, allowing everyone to see the scandalous full neck of her wimple. She shared her sister's face, if a more skeptical, narrow-eyed version of it. She did not share her sister's body, due to an intense desire to stay marketable, should she ever strike a vein of good luck and find a rich merchant visiting town, or perhaps one of those heroic adventurers one heard so much about.

For you see, Eva loved money. The gleam of gold. The sound of the coins clicking together. The exciting gaining of it. The eventual spending of it. The sinful gambling of it! She loved all of these things, but she also loved her sister, and she was determined to one day find some way to turn the sleepy chapel of St. Sleeper into a money-making enterprise like so many other churches tended to be, if only privately. For her sister's benefit too, of course. It had been such a shame to see her sister waste all of her marriageable years in a place like this, preaching to ten-to-twenty people and knitting in her spare time. If it weren't for her well-hidden care for Ave, she'd have traded her habit to run off with the highest-bidding man a long time ago.

"Tee hee, nothing so loud as all that. But I do think you would have enjoyed it," Ave chuckled, relishing in her sister's hyperbolic praise and missing the sarcasm of it. "Well, there's plenty to do around the church. Let's get to sweeping! Once the whole place is slept, I'll allow you to try the first batch of my very yummy new candied apple recipe."

"You could at least sell the apples instead of giving them away, couldn't you?" Eva groaned, slumping her shoulders as she rose to grab a broom. She hated cleaning the church. She didn't much care for sweets, either, though she'd eat one just to humor her older sister. There was nothing in today's proceedings to excite her. Plus, there were other worries on her mind-- ones that sleep allowed her a blessed reprieve from worrying over. "Sis, you know this place is becoming a safety hazard, right? If we can't make more than thirty gold a sermon, there's no way I can even repair the roof. Why in Geod's name you hired a painter for it-"

"I didn't hire her! The dear Ms. Italliete is painting pro bono," Ave interjected, wringing her hands. "A-And I'm sure she would tell us if there was any danger of the roof falling in!"

"Theeere's a little danger," the painter called down from her painting rig, switching to a sitting position that hung her legs off the side of her perch. "I'm a painter, not a builder, but..."

"Oh no! We'll have to hire a roof repairman after all. Oh dear..."

"Hire my ass! We don't have any money," Eva reminded her sister, scowling and poking a finger into her sister's chubby cheek. "Can you get one of those to work pro bono too?"

Italliete sighed deeply, turning her head away to eject herself from the conversation. These two sisters were in such dire straights, trying to keep this church going, that she'd helped out of the goodness of her heart. With rippling muscles, ebony-dark skin, a dread-locked ponytail, and usually dressed in nothing more than a white tank top and paint-stained brown overalls, unhooked at the shoulders, the woman would stand out anywhere in the town. She was clearly a foreigner. Still, she had been welcomed here once her duty as a guardian in Meridan had ended. She'd butted heads with management when they'd begun to grow more and more secular and in the end, she'd thrown away her badge in protest-- a dishonorable discharge that she now often regretted. The people here accepted her with open arms, no questions asked. She figured she owed it to them all to at least provide this place a decent church mural-- especially since, whether the town knew it or not, the church was the only attraction this place had. If it closed, she suspected the people living here would either have to seek refuge in the cities or else, may be subject to starvation.

Plus, it wasn't like she wasn't getting anything out of it. She craned her neck a bit more as the sisters forgot about her, getting a better look at Eva's slender figure and the very pronounced swell of Ave's rear end seen from an upward angle. Then she went back to dutifully painting a multitude of angels, all female, in various states of Geodly undress. "I wouldn't worry about it. Like I said, just a little danger. Nothing you can do without the repairman and the money anyway, right? Geod will provide."

"He shall. He always shall," Ave agreed, beaming up at her guardian angel, the dear woman who'd agreed to paint her church for free. Truly, Geod did provide.

As if on cue, a knock came from the front door. Ave gathered her skirt about her ankles and hustled to answer it. It was so rare for her to have visitors outside of sermons-- and especially so well-timed, when she had candied apples nearly ready to give as gifts! Maybe someone had come for a confession?

The door opened to reveal an unusual-looking visitor. Like Italliete, his skin was a deep brown color, but he was even taller than she was, his bald head nearly grazing the doorway as he entered upon being welcomed. His face held a kindly smile, but his eyes were pure white, as though he'd been blinded. Still, he saw his way around perfectly fine, stepping past the others before coming to rest meaningfully in front of the church's depiction of Geod's face upon its center podium. He crossed his large hands at the center of his robe, which was white, trimmed with red and gold-- a sign of a high place in Geod's church. The visitor bowed to each woman in turn, but waited to speak, as though building suspense.

Ave's heart thumped hard inside her chest. Was he here to close down the church because there roof could collapse at any minute? Was he here to close the church for poor attendance? Was he here to close the church because he happened to be in the area?!

Eva's heart thumped hard inside her chest and she gripped a nearby podium. Something about this guy just smelled like money! Not to mention that chiseled jaw. Meee-yow!

Italliete's heart remained pretty steady. The guy probably wasn't here for her. Something about the way he behaved pissed her off, though, like he was one of Geod's angels himself, rather than a simple clergyman.

"My name is Cherubin. I'm the acting head priest in Merridan during Ms. Clara Fauxbright's absence," he finally introduced himself, placing one hand upon his chest and gesturing with the other. "Thank you for welcoming me here at St. Sleeper's Chapel. The upcoming mural is coming along splendidly. Truly, fine tribute to our loving Geod. I've half a mind to commission such a talented painter for Meridan's central church. I'm sure our honored high priest would be delighted when she returns from her pilgrimage."

Italliete turned her head, secretly smirking with pride. Well, maybe the guy wasn't all bad. He had taste.

Ave and Eva both blinked with stupefied expressions. The high priest? Here? In Headrest? In their church? Eva began to desperately primp her hair while Ave wrung her hands red. "W-W-What brings you to our humble chapel?" Ave questioned, putting on her warmest, most "please-don't-close-the-chapel-I've-managed-for-twenty-years" smile.

Cherubin returned the smile, not exactly warmly-- his face always seemed to hold a mysterious intent that scared strangers and those familiar alike. "Be calm, Mother Ave. Rather, rejoice. I am here with good news." He crossed his arms behind his back, seeming many meters tall somehow as he stood before the podium. "Have you heard the news from Merridan as of late?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

"... No news?"

"We don't get the latest news around these parts, I'm afraid! That's just Headrest for you," she giggled. "Oh, but the head priestess is on a pilgrimage! My, my. What times we live in!"

"... You really haven't heard anything?"

Eva raised an eyebrow, then tossed her golden hair over one shoulder. "Does it have something to do with why our congregation's getting smaller and smaller? Why people are leaving town?" she questioned, being the quicker of the two on the uptake.

"It does," Cherubin admitted, smiling in acknowledgment. "The city of Merridan is in the middle of an awakening. Long held dogma of the church are being discarded, or, shall I say, reversed. In his infinite wisdom, Geod recognized a call for an end to old dogma and stifling traditions. Priests and priestesses alike are now not only encouraged to revoke their vows of chastity, but rather, to fully devote their bodies to the church's service and embrace their sexuality. It has been an age of sexual repression and we are now coming through the light-- the people now flourish in the spirit of openness, understanding, and pride in their sexual identities. I've come to spread the word to you all and to recommend your quick conversion to the latest fashion, for the sake of the church's health. As one church leader to another, I implore you to heed his call. In fact, I see great potential for St. Sleeper's, should all assembled in this chapel adopt this new initiative."

The three women assembled in the chapel each remained silent for a bit, before Ave took the chance to speak. "Pardon me. I am feeling just a bit faint. Or perhaps delirious. I-I think I may have misheard something just now."

"You did not," Cherubin responded, keeping his no-nonsense smile chiseled onto his statuesque face. "It is common for this news to be met with disbelief, but I hope you will be open to it. It is not mandatory that you oblige, however, I ask that you look deep into your heart and listen to Geod speaking. If you feel it is his will, you should obey. You should, frankly, immediately move to incorporate sexually provocative practices into your church routine."

"Hey, this 'latest fashion' you're talking about... Is there a lot of money in it?" Eva asked, moving a little closer and cupping one hand to her cheek with a flirtatious smile.

The acting head priest nodded. "Oh, yes. I do believe your church would see an immediate financial benefit. I noticed your building is in need of repairs... I would be willing to get the Church of Merridan involved in sponsoring its repair, as well as word-of-mouth advertising for the new services. I will need your statement, hand on Geod's Bible, that you will be open-minded to these new teachings."

"Oh. But. That's not really. Um. Surely not?" Ave questioned, clutching the rosary at her neck as though conducting one of the church's demon-warding prayers. "Y-You're not joking? Why would Geod possibly-"

Cherubin simply shook his head this time and raised one hand. "It is not for us to question his judgement, Mother Ave. Only to follow. Simply know that Merridan, while prosperous in some ways, now faces a potential splintering of the church due to the work of conspirators inside the faction of Dyna's knights. I won't go into the particulars, but they are now posing themselves as an alternative to his church. It's sacrilegious. It requires us to act, in order to secure retention of our faithful. If we are passive in this, it will be at the expense of our creator Himself."

"Wait, you said everyone assembled here earlier. Are you including me in that too?" Italliete called down from overhead. "You know I'm not even a sister here, right? I've not even officially a member of the church."

"But you do have a stake in our success. And, again, I do see the potential."

What a thing to be dragged into. Still... she found herself sizing up Ave and Eva again. If they'd really been talked into it, this might not be a bad thing to be around for. Plus, they'd need someone like her, good-natured and handy with a weapon, if things got too rowdy. "I've got no love for those knights of Dyna, anyway, spitting on the church's good name like they do. Sure, I'll lend a hand."

"Wonderful," Cherubin responded, now seeming genuinely pleased. There were gold glimmers dancing in Eva's eyes and a new sense of purpose burning in Italliete's heart. There was only one hold-out at this point and it was the one who needed to be convinced the most. "Mother Ave, this place has not been well-trafficked. We can change that. With your help, this church will become a key strategic position between Merridan and the capital. Business will flow, pilgrims will come, and Headrest will benefit greatly. The people there-- innkeepers, shopkeepers, farmers, few as they are-- all suffer in relative poverty. You can be their savior."

"I-I am... not a young woman, nor a thin one. I know nothing of flirtatious behavior, let alone, erm, 'provocation.' Are you certain people would want that sort of thing from me?"

"Positive. One-hundred percent. I'd imagine many in the village already feel this way and have for the past two decades."

"D-Don't say it with such assurance!" Ave protested, gripping harder to her rosary-- it was too embarrassing to imagine the congregation she'd known for twenty years eyeing her like a piece of meat.

"Think on the matter. I will be waiting in the Inn in Headrest. Please, deliver your answer by nightfall. It will be up to the three of you to decide your roles in this and also to come up with a game-plan in order to match the new initiative. I look forward to your answer," the acting high priest finished, bowing once more before heading to the door. He did not appear to be a particularly patient man.

The door closed with a heavy, oaken thud, leaving the three in silence. Ave stood below the podium, dumbstruck, with its long shadow cast over her. Eva ran busily around the church, saying nothing, but doing everything she could to spruce it up for visitors, in a rare show of dedication to her work. Italliete painted, occasionally casting glances down to Ave to see if she was still alive or if her heart had given out on her.

Each of the three knew that something would have to be done, but who would be bold enough to propose a way forward?