Screw this!

You shake your head at Carl. "Dude, I can't believe you'd pick gals over pals. I don't care how much pussy you're getting, this wasn't cool."

"Dude, you don't understand -"

"If joining up with these chicks means I'll spend the rest of my life following my prick like you just did, or being paranoid that they're going to nail me on something and fuckin' ruin my life for it, then screw this. Go tell them I'm out."

"It's not like that, man -"

"Get lost, Carl. And take your fuckin' empty beer bottles with you."

Two months later, you're out with Heidi, who you finally managed to talk into giving you a chance. After a month of persuasion, she even lets you hold her hand in public. You've got a pretty serious case of blue balls, but it helps a bit to be able to jack off at night and think about what might have been if that thing with the Alpha Pi's had worked out...

THE END

(you fuckin' pussy...)