Scott and Dirk need more pot first

“Wait dudes, I ain’t stoned enough yet! Gimme the joint!!!” Dirk says. You pass the joint to him and impatiently watch him take a slow drag on it. Just as you are about to turn to head down the hallway, you see Scott reach out for another hit. You roll your eyes and take a look at your watch.

“Come on guys, that fucker ain’t gonna be out for much longer. Let’s go!!!” You say.

“Relax Jackman, the art of kicking ass is a very complicated process. We need to get the exact right buzz in order to do this. Did DaVinci paint the Sistine Chapel before getting all the paint he needed?” Dirk says, obviously stoned off his ass. You slap yourself in the head, knowing that to these guys, kicking Keith’s ass is now second behind getting stoned off of theirs. As your two friends take their third and subsequently fourth hits off the joint, you slowly get madder and madder. You stay out of the smoke for fear of getting a contact high.

“Dude man, that was Monet!” Scott replies. You avoid the smoke for a good half-hour or so. Part of you wants to go beat the shit out of Keith and part of you wants to burst down the door. As time drags on, the part of you that wants to do Keith some damage slowly starts to win out. You start to tip-toe down the hallway away from your pothead friends, who are now busy with their third joint.

“Hey Jack, where you off to dude?” Dirk calls out to you. Scott by this point, is on the floor and is clearly beyond any use to you.

“I’m gonna go out and find Keith myself. You guys should stay here, just in case you find some more pot to smoke!!!” You say as you turn and head down to the lobby.

“Okay Jack!!!” Dirk replies. As soon as you got out of sight, but before you got out of hearing distance, Dirk starts a conversation with Scott.

“Scott dude, do you know where Jack went?” You smack yourself in the head. How did those two get into med school you wonder. You keep walking.

“No clue man!!! Let’s get some munchies.” Scott says.

Your two friends head into their apartment and make themselves some blueberry Belgian waffles. After about a half hour of scarffing, they hear a knock on the door. Dirk stumbles over to the door and peers through the peep glass and spies Alicia. He quickly opens the door and lets her in.

“Okay Jack, you can go over and see Melody now. She’s looking for you!” She says to your friends. She shakes her head when she sees their condition. “Guys, where’s Jack?”

“He…uh…went out!!!” Dirk says.

“Where?” Alicia asks angrily.

“Hehehe…the windoooooow!” Scott chuckles and then breaks out into a huge laughing fit. Dirk soon joins him. Alicia taps her feet and then scowls at the two stoners before her.

“Where is he?” She asks again.

“He’s over here!” Dirk waves his arms around and then points to his nose.

“You guys are fucking useless!!!” She says as she kicks Scott in the ribs.

“Thanks Killjoy!!!” He shouts.

“Hey wait Alicia! I know where he went.” Dirk gets her attention. “He went to get some good shit from Keith!”

“Huh?” She responds.

“Oh wait, he’s going to get a joint out of him while we look for more pot!” Dirk adds. Alicia shakes her head in disbelief.

“No wait dude, he was going to take a shit on him!!!” Scott says.

“DING!!! DING!!! DING!!! He was going to kick the shit out of him!!!” Dirk says.

“WHAT?” Alicia screams. “You let him go after Keith, while you stayed here and got high?”

“Um, no. He got high with us, then he was gone.” Dirk corrects her.

“So he’s stoned, pissed off, and going after the guy who beat the shit out of the woman he loves, and you guys didn’t go with him?” She asks for clarification before smacking both of them. “Get off your asses, and go get him. NOW!!!”