Say your Peace to the town (END)

“I just wanted to say,” Texas took a step forward, “That if this is all how it’s gonna end, then I accept it. All of it. I’m glad I could do my Mama proud and lay my life down in the line of duty. I know my family will always be proud knowing that the last thing I did was make sure that justice was upheld. And I thank you Citizens of Gold Springs for giving me this opportunity to stand up for you one last time and do what’s right. Deputy Georgia, after all we’ve been through I’m honored that we could work together to put away one last criminal. Now please, shoot us both.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the audience. An audible coo of awws and gasps rang out, and some were outright bawling. Most notably Georgia herself who had to lower the pistol to stop and wipe the tears from her eyes,

“That’s so beautiful. It even makes my rotten heart feel like there’s some good left in the world. I’ll never forget you, Texas.”

Texas’s eyes went wide as Georgia raised the pistol back up. Everyone in the crowd screamed as Texas hit the deck and with a crash the bullet rang out just over her head. It flew into the Crushed Weasel across the street, shattering a window and breaking quite a few bottles from the sound of it.

“WHAT IN TH’ HELL WAS THAT?” Texas screamed.

“You said to shoot both of ya!” Georgia threw her hands up in frustration, “Am I supposed to or not?!”

“She’s obviously the Sheriff you lout!” came a cry from the audience. Everyone in the crowd started cheering in agreement. Even Vivian and her gang of thugs couldn’t weasel this one out on the weasel.

“Jeez LOUISE!” Texas pulled herself up and dusted herself off, “You were really gonna pop my brains out all over the wall weren’t ya! Right in front of the womenfolk and the kiddies? Georgia you’re crazy!”

“B-but you! You said! AUGH!” Georgia threw her pistol on the ground and crossed her arms with a huff.

Texas shook her head, “You’re all crazy by the way! Cuz that CLEARLY don’t look nothin’ like me! After all this I… I just need another drink!”

Texas stormed off into the Crushed Weasel, then stopped at the door,

“And Furthermore! I’m takin’ a three day weekend!”

But right before she could cross the threshold into the bar something happened. Earlier when Georgia had sent a round careening into the bar it had done a few things. First it had shattered a bunch of liquor bottles, spilling their contents across the floor. Not a huge problem, but when the bullet ricocheted around and knocked a burning candle loose, that created a problem. Said lit candle ended up teetering on the edge of a table right above a booze soaked, untreated wood floor. All of that combined with the fact that Annabelle had been not so subtly hiding munitions in the rafters for a friend reached a head when that ricocheting bullet hit a powderkeg in the ceiling. Now a random projectile might not be enough to set off a powderkeg, but it was enough to make a hole, which was cascading black powder down in a shower of flammable dust. When Texas opened the door a light breeze knocked the candle to the ground, igniting the entire floor and the blaze sent sparks upwards along the trail of gunpowder in an instant resulting in–

KABOOoOOOOOOM!

For the Citizens of Golden Springs, there was one split second where the Crushed Weasel and the weasel for which it was named both existed. And then in the next fraction of an instant they were both gone. All that remained of Texas was her boots still on the ground and the tatters of burnt clothing falling from the sky like confetti.

Among the dumbstruck crowd of onlookers, the Fake Texas stepped forward and plucked something out of the rubble.

“Ey look, isser ID.” She said with a dumb laugh, “Huh, shoulda jus’ showed you guys dis right? Wadda dummy, huh huh.”

The crowd slowly turned to stare at Fake Texas, just in time for a flaming wagon wheel to come crashing down on her, flattening her in an instant.

When Texas opened her eyes next, she felt serene. The world was basked in a heavenly warmth and she felt lighter than air. Before her was a magnificent golden gate and a small podium where an elderly goat with a tiny pair of wings on his back looked down upon her. He adjusted his glasses and tapped a feathered quill on a long scroll in front of him,

“Ah yes I’m expecting two here from Gold Springs. Texas Stanton and ah,” he adjusted his glasses, “Kentucky Derpy?”

Texas cocked an eyebrow, “Kentucky?”

That was when she realized she wasn’t alone. Standing next to her was the Faker, this “Kentucky” who had apparently died shortly after her? Serves her right! Before she could ask just how the rat had died, the goat cleared his throat and spoke up,

“Well now it says here that the former is a sheriff who protected the weak and upheld truth and justice in the face of great adversity dying in the line of duty; while the latter is a former carnie strongwoman who was tempted with dirty money and turned to identity theft, who died robbing the remains of the recently deceased sheriff. I suppose it should be no surprise where we’re sending each of you. Now which one of you is Texas Stanton?”

“ME!” Kentucky raised her hand, “Dat’s me arright, Ah’m tha Sherf.”

“Wait one minute!” Texas butted in, “She’s lying! She JUST got herself killed tryin’ ta impersonate me!”

“I suppose that’s true,” the goat stroked his long beard, “But that IS just what the imposter would say… Do either of you have any proof of identification?”

Kentucky’s hand shot up, and in it was clutched… Texas’s ID?! Where’d she even get that? She passed it over to the old goat who looked it over. He narrowed his eyes at the words, reading them slowly, then held the photo id up to Kentucky’s face and seemed to think that (at least to his blurry eyes) the photos matched! He nodded and stamped a note.

“Approved. Welcome to paradise Ms. Stanton.” Kentucky disappeared in a puff of smoke, “And as for you. Enjoy your stay in the abyss, you awful little liar.”

The goat grabbed a lever on the side of his and yanked it down. A fiery pit opened right beneath her and dropped Texas straight down into the bowels of hell. It was a short fall, but it still hurt like the dickens when she hit the ground. The heat and the stench of sulfur, it was all so horrible! Texas pulled herself up onto her knees and turned her head up… just in time for a tiny pair of feet clad in nylons and to be placed on her face.

“Greetings pitiful mortal.” Came a voice from behind the feet on her face. It was a tiny black ewe with little red horns, glistening fangs and crimson eyes with serpentine pupils. She was also wearing a tight crimson pencil skirt and matching sweater vest that made her look like a cross between your third grade teacher and a halloween store sexy devil. “The feet you currently smell are those of Baa-lphegor, Duchess of Lies and Lady of Deceit, the Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing. My friends call me Lucy. For your manifold crimes I shall be inflicting unholy torment upon your soul for all eternity. Rubbing my smelly feet on your face isn’t part of that, I just enjoy it.”

“Y-you have to understand,” Texas mumbled into the soft but stinky nylons, “This is a mistake, it’s all lies. The true sinner is in heaven and I know you want to punish the wicked and–”

“Lemme stop ya right there.” Lucy took a sip of the crimson liquid in her coffee cup, “I don’t particularly care. I fudge my numbers ALL the time. ‘Yeah Totally boss, definitely got those damned souls. Mmhm none of em escaped. Yup I sent back the righteous souls like you asked boss.’ All that crap. What are they gonna do? I’m the demon of LYING not the demon of good work ethic. Anyhoo I’m just gonna go ahead and give you all of Kentucky’s punishments then lie to myself and say I did a good job.”

“B-but I–”

“Stop interrupting.” Lucy said, then snapped her hooves. A lick of flame danced across Texas’s lips and in a flash her mouth was gone, and there was nothing but flat, featureless face where it had once been. With a flick of her wrist Lucy was now holding Texas’s mouth with the same flair that someone would have pulled a coin from her ear.

“Like that? It’s a favorite of my domain. Liars must be separated from the mouths they so horribly abused in life. I’ve got something special in store for this smoocher but first–”

The entire scene changed in a puff of brimstone and Texas was now bound on her hands and knees tight leather restraints. Almost immediately, Texas felt something sniffing at her backside. She couldn’t see it and that was a good thing, because behind her was a massive sheep-like beast with three heads and a canine’s body covered in blackish wool. It was roughly the size of an elephant, and was particularly interested in Texas’s backside. Lucy appeared beside Texas to explain the set up,

“As any self respecting demon lord I’ve got a few thralls under my command. This type is called a Cerbaarus, I use ‘em as guard dogs. Very efficient. Really hard to breed, though. So to that end I’ve used my power of deceit to make him believe you’re a female of his species and your ass is a fertile womb in heat. I’m so good that I can trick him even though his females are roughly twenty times your size. Stretching is still gonna be a bitch though, and he literally won’t stop breeding until you’re pregnant. Which is impossible because it’s your butthole. So yeah.”

Texas would’ve been screaming, but she lacked the mouth to do so with. Instead, all her horrified fear was shown on her eyes, which seemed to convey how she was feeling quite well. Enough for Lucy to laugh at before she continued explaining Texas’s damnation

“And for a double whammy, I’m gonna It’s a lounge where–” Lucy stopped herself and looked up. The Cerbaarus had turned and lifted a leg, “Oh jeez I forgot to mention that these guys like to mark their mates. With pee. And their piss is kinda boiling hot? I’m gonna pop on over to our next stop while he gives you a little boiling golden shower get you ready for some lovemaking~.”

Lucy popped out of reality and reappeared in a filthy restroom. It looked almost completely

“Like I was SAYING,” Lucy continued, “This is a bar where my personal thugs, the Baahemoths, hang out. Cool bitches. Really horny and smelly though. And they busted every toilet in this dump! That’s where you come in.”

:Lucy fished Texas’s mouth out of her pocket and slapped it down on the nearest toilet seat, and instantly Texas’s mouth opened up into a scream. Lucy rolled her eyes and snapped her hooves, causing a small dial to appear on the toilet labeled “Volume Control’. Turning it all the way down, Lucy nodded proudly at the now silent, eternally screaming mouth of the accidentally damned soul. As a little farewell, Lucy shoved her wooly butt right up into Texas’s mouth and squeezed out a quick toot that reeked of sulfur and pure ****.

“Promise to come back in a few millennia and check on ya. Pfft yeah right, demon of lies. I crack myself up.”

Lucy disappeared in a flaming gust and almost immediately another demon stepped up to the glory hole. It must’ve been one of the “Baahemoths”, which turned out to be a bulky brute of a herm demon with the body of a silverback and the wings of a bat, and her head was fiery goat skull with a mane of singed wool. She whipped out her long schlong and let fly a golden stream of fetid demon piss, which Texas learned was also boiling hot and quite literally acidic as she felt her tastebuds burning out before being revived just to suffer more. It was agony, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of a knotted canine cock the size of a kayak slamming into Texas’s ass from behind.

As the first Baahemoth finished her business the next was right behind her. This one pumped a few pounds of demon-shit down her gullet before not wiping and jamming the entire roll of toilet paper into Texas’s mouth. Luckily for her, the next Baahemoth was kind enough to plunge out Texas’s throat with her jaw-breaking dick in an hours long facefucking session. And it just kept going like this, the horrible demons seemingly trying to out-disgust one another in new a horrific ways, all while Texas was being assfucked by a dog the size of a school bus. As eternity ground on, the **** took its toll on her immortal soul and would ever recognize her as Texas again, just an overstretched demonic cumdump/septic tank combo.

And that was much better for Kentucky, who would much prefer if there was no more competition for her spot as Texas. After all, it was going to be hard enough explaining this all to Carolina when she ended up there too.

“Aw shoot, ah’ll figger that out soon enuff,” Kentucky said, taking another swig of holy ambrosia as she lounged on her bed of clouds, “After all, I got a loooong time ‘fore she ends up here. Plenty a’ time ta work on my impersonation! Ahuhuh!”

Truly, the best Texas had won.