Salad, Wine, and Panic

Roy tried to look relaxed. Fork in hand, wine sweating in the glass beside his plate, polite smile plastered across his face like the label on a bottle that didn't quite match what was inside.

Conversation hummed around the table. Warm. Easy. Even Evan, who only yesterday had looked at Roy like something scraped off a boot, was contributing, nodding at jokes, offering a story here and there. It was the clipped politeness of a man determined to behave, and Roy appreciated it, even if every part of him was too tightly wound to fully enjoy it.

What he really cared about sat across from him.

Not Elaine, though she was luminous at the head of the table, pearls catching the light, but the two young women flanking her.

Claire.

Tessa.

Laughing, passing bowls, leaning into their partners, casual and intimate in ways that suggested long-term comfort.

And one of them, he was almost certain, was something else now.

Which one?

Just when he thought he had figured out his new life, what his wish had done to him, he got hit with this curveball. Yes, it was amazing to be able to stay in a relationship with Elaine. Women like her never ended up with men like him, and so he was more than happy about how that had ended up. But was that it? He had felt the same feelings he'd felt before when the relationship transferred to a new woman, so why weren't either of the other two acting like they were in love with him?

Of course, he realized how ridiculous he sounded. Had he voiced his worries out loud, he would have been taken for a philanderer, or worse. But it wasn't need or desire that drove the question. It was worry. Roy was a fish out of water. Having to wait to find out how his life actually worked now, living a life without understanding the rules of engagement felt terrifying.

He cut his chicken, nodded along while Adam talked about the drive up from the city, but every few seconds his eyes slid back toward the women.

Claire looked so much like her mother it was disorienting. She had the same eyes, same bright, intelligent alertness, the same apple-cheeked smile that made the room warmer just by existing. Any time anyone spoke she listened intently, thin shoulders slightly hunched forward in concentration, giving her full attention. Every once in a while she nudged Adam's knee under the table, or brushed a hand through his hair like she couldn't help herself.

Claire, maybe?

He could imagine it. She was beautiful, warm, easy to want. But he could see no indication of any special attention she was paying him.

But then Tessa laughed. Really laughed. Her head tipped back, curls springing and bouncing, her tattoos flashing like punctuation marks each time she gestured. She and Evan fit together in an equally natural way. She tucked her ankle behind his, rested her hand on his wrist, whispered something in his ear that made him grin through a full mouthful of potatoes.

Tessa, maybe?

Flirty. Bright-eyed. Somebody who'd pull someone into a bathroom at a party just because the mood struck. Again, though, she only seemed to have eyes for Evan.

Every smile that landed on him, from either one, jolted through his chest like an accusation.

Was that it?

Was she the one?

He had felt it at the door. He was sure of it! That quick jolt, hairs standing up, the world skipping like a bad video file buffering. There was no question: the wish had done something. And yet Elaine still sat at the head of the table calling him babe, touching his foot under the table, blowing little kisses across the dishes when the conversation got rowdy.

Why?

He couldn't help but hope.

Maybe he'd been spared. Maybe whatever **** orchestrated this nightmare, this miracle, had taken pity on him. Maybe his feelings about who he wanted to be with in his life actually mattered.

He looked down at his plate, pulse jumping. He loved Elaine. Or something close enough that saying otherwise felt like a lie. Was that the difference?

He was pulled back by someone calling his name.

"Roy? You with us?" Elaine grinned, eyes narrowed playfully. "You look like you're plotting something."

Heat rushed to his face. "No, just... sorry. Must be the wine," he said, blaming the **** rather than existential dread.

"Need some water?" she teased.

"Water? That stuff'll kill you!" he said, taking another swig from his glass, getting a laugh from the table.

He **** himself to be present after that. **** himself to nod, ask questions, tell a few stories from his life. By dessert he was almost convincing even himself that everything was normal. Almost.

The apple crisp came out golden and bubbling, and the compliments flew thick enough to make Elaine glow. When the plates were empty, everyone stood to clean without being asked. The energy was buoyant, familial. Like he belonged here.

Roy stacked plates, carried them to the sink. A pleasant fuzz bloomed just behind his eyes; the wine doing its job a little too well now.

Elaine leaned toward Evan as he dried his hands. "Hey, honey, when you get a sec, could you take a look at that rattle in my van? It's been driving me crazy."

"Yeah, sure," Evan said, hanging the towel back on its hook.

"And can you give him a hand, Adam?" Elaine asked. "I'd ask Roy, but he's all thumbs with this kind of stuff."

Adam smiled, gave Roy a sympathetic look, then placed the stack of dishes he was holding on the counter. The three disappeared through the side door, and suddenly Roy was alone with the two younger women. The anxiety that he had buried before began to bloom once again.

Still, there was work to be done. The kitchen buzzed with movement, cupboards opening, silverware clinking, friendly chatter swirling around him, and for a moment Roy felt almost normal. One of the gang. Just a boyfriend helping clean up.

He reached for a stack of salad bowls...

And a hand squeezed his ass.

Full, deliberate, unmistakable.

He jolted upright, nearly dropping the dishes, whipping around fast enough to sway.

Claire and Tessa were both there, standing shoulder to shoulder loading glasses into the dishwasher, laughing about something Adam said.

Not even looking at him.

No clue at all!

Roy's skin went hot, his heartbeat thudding like he'd sprinted. He swallowed hard, **** himself to move, even though every instinct screamed that someone had just laid claim.

But who?

He didn't dare ask.

By the time the dishwasher door clicked shut and the last wine was poured, he was only holding it together by habit.

Everyone migrated back to the table, looser now, happy. Evan, Adam, and Elaine returned from outside, the men smelling vaguely of oil and cold air, Elaine wiping her hands on a towel even though she hadn't touched anything.

Roy sat, nodded, chimed in, laughed where appropriate. But he had no idea what anybody was talking about. His brain was busy trying to calculate probabilities.

Claire touched him.

Tessa touched him.

Nobody touched him.

Everybody touched him.

He was drowning.

Then Elaine caught his eye.

"Hey, babe," she said softly. "Can I steal you for a sec?"

He followed her into the kitchen, heart caving inward. She closed the door behind them. Her eyes were gentle. Loving. Absolutely at peace.

"So?"

"So?" he echoed, unsure what she was asking.

"Did you get enough time with Claire?" she asked.

He blinked. "What?"

Elaine smiled, like he was being adorably dense. "Claire. Honey." She took a step closer, speaking slowly, taking on a teasing tone. "You know, my daughter? Your girlfriend? I know this isn't ideal, her bringing Adam, but Evan needed to see that his mom's boyfriend wasn't a thief, and he wouldn't come to dinner unless everyone brought their partners."

Roy stared, blood roaring in his ears.

Elaine continued, like she was explaining something practical, like car maintenance or the schedule for tomorrow.

"I figured taking the boys outside would give you a chance to connect. You only had to get some time away from Tessa, excuse yourselves for a few minutes, say you need to ask her something about me. I don't know. I'm trying, babe. I swear I'm trying." She caressed his cheek with her thumb. "She's crazy about you. And I don't want to hog you all to myself. That's not fair to anyone. But it's not going to work unless you put in some effort."

She kissed him softly.

"When we go back," she murmured, "just go over and sit beside her, okay? My birthday is coming up; ask her if she would help you with shopping or something. Adam won't suspect a thing."

Roy couldn't speak.

Because there it was.

The universe hadn't spared him.

It had gone for the jugular.

Claire was his girlfriend.

And Elaine was just trying to share.

Roy swallowed once.

Twice.

And smiled at her like the world hadn't just dropped out from under his feet.

"Yeah," he heard himself say, voice thin. "When we go back."