Right now, there is no challenge

{Authors Note: Hey, just because I haven't continued the thread in over 2 years doesn't mean I can't continue the thread! If you thought this was dead, that was on you.}

"Wait, we don't have a first challenge yet?" Deadpool said into a microphone in his ear, "Well, okay, really, guys, you should have caught that in my script. What? Of course I have a script, I'm not up here adlibbing! Just asking for some professionalism for my staff, okay? If we don't have a first challenge ready, why'd I say that we'd be back with a first challenge? Oh, so its the author's fault? I don't think that's fair to him. He's actually a very nice and handsome guy. Funny, too."

"Alright, so we're actually not going to have a challenge, we're going to give you guys the night to get accustomed to your new accommodations. This is a reality show, so we need to have a sense of what's the cast like with each other. Hey, you remember the first season of American Idol where no one really understood reality TV show so they had like a interstitial thing where the singers were all living in one house together? That was clearly bullshit, right?"

"Anyways, you can go back to the first chapter, and get the gist of this. You all are on a reality show, so we're going to want some cattiness, no offense Tigra. If one of you could be like a real bitch and make it easy for us to edit around to make people dislike you, even better. Just saying Natasha. Or Janet. Also, this is erotica, so if some of you could be down for some girl-on-girl action, I am sure the audience would appreciate that. I don't want to stereotype anyone, but I'm looking at you, Laura. Just statistically, if anyone here's going to be into that, its probably an X-lady." Wade bumped his fist above his heart and gave a peace sign. "Charlie Xavier's is human and mutants living in peaceful co-existence, and Chris Claremont's dream is hot teenage lesbians."

"Lets go see where you'll be staying, Pete!" Deadpool announced, and suddenly the group of assembled superheroes found themselves in a beach bungalow. "Ooh, cool scene transition - that was nice. Oh, okay, it looks like you will be staying in a beautiful white sand beach resort in the Mojoworld equivalent of the Carribbean. The producers would like me to remind you that this is Mojoworld, so the waters are heavily mined and filled with sharks with laser beams, so you know, avoid swimming, I guess? But, well, again, this is fan fiction erotica, so feel free to walk around in skimpy bikinis, or just go starkers."

"Great, this is great," Sue Storm said flatly.

"Hey, let me show you your rooms," Wade said, "Pete, you're going to be in that central building behind us. Room to yourself. Room for more, its a California king if you want to invite one of these lovely ladies to stay the night."

"Our resident Milfs will be staying over there, Sue, Janet, feel free to, you know, take these inexperienced superheroines and teach them the finer arts of love-making," Wade continued, waving towards a smaller hut, maybe one room in it, "Again, I cannot stress enough that girl-on-girl action will be awarded. For some reason, they gave you guys the kitchen. I said that was sexist and ageist, but the writer's room shouted me down. Oh, for the moment, all you ladies get your own bed, but, uh separate beds are a privilege, not a right in MojoWorld."

"You realize that I am much older than the both of them, right?" Natasha huffed.

"Are you volunteering to teach the others the ways of love?" Wade shot back. Natasha harrumphed and refused to engage further.

Wade continued down the sandy beach, and the heroes followed behind. "We're calling this one the Cat House, obviously, Greer and Felicia will be staying there. We've put in a scratching post, so, y'know, that's fun. We can probably get you a cat or two, if you want."

"And, if we walk back to other side of Peter's bungalow, we get Natasha and Laura's little hut. Hopefully, sometime soon, the writer will have an idea for a challenge and we can get started. Otherwise, ladies, good luck. Peter, have fun - - Wait, did you all know his name was Peter? Did I just out him?"

"Of course, I knew, I've seen him naked," Felica giggled.

"Yes, I knew, Peter lived with us for a while," Sue nodded.

"I literally couldn't care less," Laura sulked, "I've already forgotten it."

"I am former leader of Avengers, a top SHIELD agent, and he is not that careful with his secret identity," Natasha let her Russian accent slip in, "What do you think?"

"I didn't know," Greer said, and Janet nodded in agreement.

"Oh, well, that's fun. Bodyslide by one!" Wade said, disappearing before their very eyes.

"Okay, gang, don't get me wrong, but I need to go to my bungalow and jerk off. The Silk pheromones they use are driving me insane. I feel like I'm fourteen and just discovered jerking off. I am very very sorry about saying that, its just, I can't - I can't control it when I'm like this. Give me a bit to get my mind right, and we can start thinking about how to get out of here."

Peter Parker dashed off back to his room, and well, worked on his web-shooter. An hour later, there was a knock on the door; Sue and Janet were on the other side. Sue held up a finger before Peter could say anything. Peter could see a faintly-blue transparent wall of energy caress the sides of the room, and then felt the eerie **** press against him.

"Checking for bugs, we figured we need to try to keep this to ourselves as long as possible, and we don't want Mojo to know about our activities," Janet said to Peter, "We all good, Sue?" The Invisible Woman nodded.

"Okay, we've been discussing this. I don't think Natasha's on board, and I'm not sure what Laura is thinking, but the rest of us," the Wasp said, "We don't have much experience with Mojo outside of what we've been told by Psylocke, Dazzler, and Rogue at Girl's nights out, but..."

"Those do exist! Felicia lied to me!" Peter interjected.

"Felicia doesn't get invited, she's not really a superhero, and besides, you guys have those dumb poker nights with Ben and we ladies don't get invited," Sue shot back.

Peter had a rejoinder, but figured he should listen. But for the record, he had won three months rent when he figured out Warren Worthington's tell, so those Poker Night were not dumb.

"Anyways," Janet tried to steer the conversation back on track, "in MojoWorld, Mojo controls the vertical and the horizontal. We don't have the ability to break out of here, yet. For our sakes, to not get tortured by that fat yellow freak, we should try to play along as best we can. I'm sure Reed and Tony are back at home and working hard to track us down. We should consolidate here, try to not to get anything too permanent done to us, and wait for the cavalry."

"Are you sure? It sounds like Wade and Mojo want me to, well, **** you guys," Peter asked uneasily.

"No, no, Deadpool's been clear that this is 'erotica'. I doubt it will go to that. Mojo might try to, I don't know, monkey with our minds, do things to us like the pheromones are doing to you," Janet said, "But we just need to be smarter than that. We're all superheroes, and we've all dealt with perverts with mind control powers. Like you going off by yourself to whack off. I think that's a perfectly fine idea. And, besides, its just sex. A lot of us have had hook-ups within the community."

"Wait what?" Peter interjected, "Doesn't that make it awkward for the saving-the-world stuff?"

"I know Sue is devoted to Reed, and I know you don't come out and have fun but, yeah, I think pretty much all of us have knocked boots with another superhero," Janet threw up her hands.

"With whom?" Sue asked with a wry smile. Sue loved her husband, but Reed's libido was a sine wave where as Sue's was more of a exponential. She liked hearing Janet's stories of being a fun, flirty divorcee.

"Well, I don't want to kiss and tell, but Gambit, Daredevil. Luke Cage. I've done it with Tony Stark and Iron Man, though at the time, I thought they were different guys, uh, Razorback once."

Spidey burst out laughing, "The guy with the pig mask? And the truck?"

"Hey, first off, he is very tall, and he's... respectful. Got the Southern Charm thing going on. He's dumb but he's a sweetheart," Janet cringed, "Anyways, we're going to be playing along, and I suggest that you do too, Peter."

"HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?!" Deadpool burst through Peter's front door. "We put all this work into making microscopic drone cameras, and now Peter has two women in his room and you've destroyed the cameras? We're still making the rules, but that's got to be a demerit or something!" He threw a cloud of needles into the air, who stayed in the air, hovering around.

Peter sighed and looked around. The bungalow had a stacked liquor cabinet. "I was just gonna offer my friends a nightcap. Would you like a drink, Wade?" Ol' Web-head had dealt with Deadpool before. Get him talking, and you could weasel your way out if he forgot what he was talking about in the first place.

"Oh, sure, give me that bottle of bourbon and a crazy-straw!" Wade said.

"I was just saying that I was a little disappointed that Scarlet Witch wasn't here, or uh, what's her name, from the X-men, with the green hair, uh - " Peter said jumping above and across the bar.

"Polaris," Sue helpfully supplied the name. Peter snapped his fingers in recognition, and then slid the bottle to the end of the bar to Wade.

"Oh, so you want to get your ass kicked by Magneto, huh? That's a fun kink," Deadpool said, "No straw? Don't worry, I carry my own crazy straws."

"Y'know, Wade, wouldn't it have been more fun for you if you were the Bachelor here?" Janet said, realizing what Peter was doing.

"Hey, believe me, I asked, but the writers, they wanted Peter Parker."

"So, Wade, if you were chosen as the lucky guy, who would you want to have been kidnapped and made part of your harem?" Peter asked, non-chalantly.

"Oh, well first off, Spider-Man. I'd pound that little twink into oblivion. And have you seen the fan fiction for that pairing? Hawt! Wait, did I just make it weird? Was that weird? Okay, okay, let's say no one currently on the island," Wade said sipping his bourbon. So they were on an island. That was potential useful.

"Okay, first off, I think why limit it to her pheromones, lets get Silk in here. Second, I love a yellow trenchcoat, so Jubilee. Uh, can't go wrong with Psylocke -- Wait, do I have an Asian fetish? Huh, that is something I didn't know about myself. Hmm, Hercules, obviously. Warren Worthington. Captain America has a great ass. The new Gwen Stacy with the spider powers. Uh, Firestar?"

"Not Iceman?" Janet asked.

"No, fuck Iceman. He's the most boring man alive, and that didn't change just because he's gay now. He quit being a superhero to become an accountant. I bet he fucks like an accountant too! And another thing, what's the deal with the fans claiming me as some sort of big representational win? Three quarters of what I say is nonsense, and really, let's take bets, am I actually a brave example of the queer community or did a writer in the late 90s really like making gay jokes? Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying, let's not pretend that I am some sort of role model. I am making gay jokes, and lets be real, the reason that so many comic book ladies came out as bi in the nineties and the aughts was partly so that you could imagine Psylocke making out with Black Cat."

"What were we talking about again?" Deadpool sucked down more of his bourbon and wandered out bungalow. He called behind a final warning, "Don't destroy my cameras!"